Problem with girlfriend's parents

pickle

She's still living at home (at least when not at uni) so they feel responsibility for her. Just ignore it for now. Wait until your nearly 40, live in another country and they're still asking where've you been? It doesn't change I'm afraid. At least when you live elsewhere then you can say "none of your business". It's up to her to reassure her parents that she'll finish uni not you. Perhaps she needs to remind them that she's her own person and that it's not really giving her much credit that they think that she hasn't got her own mind and that she'll be so easily persuaded by you. In their mind she's just about to run off with you, chucked the uni degree, gotten pregnant and then you've bailed on her and then she's moving back home with her life in tatters. That's if she hasn't had a car crash and is on a life support system in the meantime. Parents worry. They wouldn't be parents otherwise. Give it time.

LewisC_2

Quick update: I mentioned a while ago that perhaps we should all go for a meal, but that sort of fell through. My girlfriend mentioned to me the other day that they'd like to do the meal this weekend when she's back from uni. From what she's saying, it sounds like they may have realised that this isn't just a quick fad, and that we're really serious. I think they're making an effort

Snaggles

westernpromise wrote:

She's going to be a graduate and you're not, so if she ends up with you, she would be marrying beneath herself?

LewisC wrote:

So because I don't have a uni degree, I'm a lower form of life?

I have to say, I was a bit niggled by this too, although westernpromise hasn't actually been back to answer whether or not this was their actual opinion, or just guessing what the parents might be thinking.

My husband has never been to university, left school as soon as possible and got a job in a warehouse. His family had far too little money to even contemplate further education and going to university was the exception rather than the rule in the area he was brought up in.

My family were comfortably well off. I was able to go to university and I have a list of qualifications as long as your arm.

That doesn't make me BETTER than him.....it makes me LUCKIER.

I'm so glad your girlfriend's parents seem to be starting to come round. Hope the meal goes well. Just don't get drunk and dance on the table whatever you do lol !!

Guinea_2

My Mum and Dad met my partner after two months and hated him from the start. Seven years later and we are still incredibly happy and now living together. My parents....still hate him. We're getting married next year so that should be fun!

GOOD LUCK!

kittykate_2

Snaggles wrote:

I have to say, I was a bit niggled by this too, although westernpromise hasn't actually been back to answer whether or not this was their actual opinion, or just guessing what the parents might be thinking.

My husband has never been to university, left school as soon as possible and got a job in a warehouse. His family had far too little money to even contemplate further education and going to university was the exception rather than the rule in the area he was brought up in.

My family were comfortably well off. I was able to go to university and I have a list of qualifications as long as your arm.

That doesn't make me BETTER than him.....it makes me LUCKIER.

I'm so glad your girlfriend's parents seem to be starting to come round. Hope the meal goes well. Just don't get drunk and dance on the table whatever you do lol !!

Me too. I've been to uni and got my degree. I'm working in a supermarket til I can get a different job. My fella works at the same place. He left school at 16 and has worked in similar jobs since then. I don't feel like I am better than him cuz I have had a better education. It doesn't make a difference at all. We just made different choices in life, but they've moulded us into the two people we are now and we're together cuz we like the person each other is. Plus, he's not "thick" cuz he left school at 16, in fact I think he is more intelligent than me.

puffinmuffin

My OH didn't go to university, he knew what career he wanted and he felt he could learn more in a job (this involved him moving country to get his first break) I have two degrees from good unis (a BA and MSc) I didn't know what i wanted to do but at 18 i felt it was expected of me to go. I did the MSc to get into my current career. At this point in time OH earns double what i do (i am a medical researcher, he is in IT) I really think degrees are overvalued in Britain. He is definitely my intellectual equal. Maybe it helps i met him after finishing uni so it seemed unimportant. My parents couldn't care less, they don't have degrees and see that OH and i have a nice lifestyle.