Being on the straight and narrow... and STAYING there!

guisantes

After weeks of lurking, have decided to pop in and say hello.

We have a little debt but my DH and I need to get ourselves under control once and for all.

The last couple of years we have been very fortunate, have earned a decent wage between us, managed to survive ok and have treats etc.

When I was a student, I had a large overdraft and credit card, but paid them both off myself and vowed to always live within my means.

When I met my husband, he had CCJ's, and lots of debt in various places, which between us we managed to get all paid off before the birth of our first child (2)

We then decided in Feb last year to redo our kitchen, so ended up with a 5k loan, and started putting a few 'kitchen' things on the credit card, (then a couple of other things) It was ok though, we took home enough money between us so that we could get the card paid off in a few months no problem. The card is now at £2520 and we have an Argos card (for the table and chairs we *needed!*) at £520, interest free until 1st Jan.

Fast forward to the week before our holiday in July and a letter comes in from the CSA saying that they are increasing our payments by £275 a month (!!!)for the next year as DH owed them from years and years ago (we knew there were some arrears, but weren't overly worried, as DH has been paying £25 a month for years, which they had never been chasing for, and thought they must surely be paid off soon anyway! When we spoke to them, we're apparently lucky they're not taking more, they could happily take up to 40% of his wages and there's absolutely nothing we can do about it.

I've had my moment of throwing toys out of the pram, it's one of those things that we can't do anything about, and yes, I'm annoyed that I'm having to give up an extra half day a week with MY son to go to support another woman (who doesn't work) and her husband (who can afford to be a full-time student) and their subsequent 3 children. But, it's our problem and we need to sort it. Especially as we have found out that I am expecting baby no 2 in May.

As always happens with things like this, my hubby did do some freelancing work on the side which brought in some extra income which we used for shopping and petrol, and that has stopped too at the same time. Panic!!

I am trying to see this as being a blessing in disguise and really want to get on the straight and narrow for good this time. No more credit, if we want something, we save for it!

I have my MOT next week, but have squirrelled away bits here and there and have 260 budgeted for that (just hope it's not any more!)

Last month I found a free app for my fruity phone, where I managed to sort out a budget for everything, and where I could keep track of every teeny bit of spending.

I am actually a nightmare with cash in my wallet (to burn!) so found that using my debit card for me was easier than cash, I could spend small amounts and take it off the total and still know where I am. With my bank all transactions are rounded up to the nearest pound and the difference is put in my savings, I transferred the 5 pounds odd this month onto the C/C!

I also changed my tariff and decreased gas and electric by 10 a month, got rid of the perks on my bank account (17 a month) We have a separate account for bills, and at the end of last month managed to syphon an additional #30 on to the C/C

I've started a spreadsheet too, and have worked out that if I can continue paying what I've started to this month, we can be debt free (except for loan, fixed and I'm not too worried about) and mortgage by April. I would like to try and do this as soon as possible, to try and build up a little savings before little Titch comes along.

OMG I have just realised how much rambling I have done. Hopefully this will be a positive start to my new, healthy relationship with money.

romylou_2

Hi Guisantes and welcome to the world of debt free diaries.

Well done on taking that giant leap and making your first entry.

A lot of others have posted their SOA to gain insight on where cutbacks can be made, so you can chuck every spare penny at your debts.

Good luck and I hope you don't mind me "lurking" about.

saorsie

Congratulations on the new baby guisantes and well done on facing up to your debts whilst they are still small and not too scary!

<and a huge pat on the back for not going too ballistic about the CSA arrears - I would have been livid!! :eek:>

Have you thought about starting a spending diary so you can track where those 'small amounts' are going when you use your debit card - it can often be surprising?

Will pop in from time to time and keep you company if that's ok

-s-

guisantes

Hi Romylou,

Thanks for your reply, and any input would be fantastic :-)

Problem with doing an SOA is that my money varies monthly (I get bonus' and never know what these are going to be) so I'm going to have to budget on a minimum basis.

Here is a go at a vague SOA:

Incoming:

DH wages: 1180 - (1100 goes to bills account, 35 for his mobile and he has the rest. This is after his payment to CSA) I only count 1100 of this towards SOA
My wages: this month 1147 (good bonus month)
CB/CTX: 117

Total: 2364

Outgoings:

Mortgage (of 133,000) 609
Council tax 124
TV Licence 13
Water 51
Loan 115 (5,000 over 5 years, 1.5 years in, not worried about this at this stage, have budgeted for)
Gas/Elec 90 joint (have just reduced this by 10 a month by changing to online tariff, changed boiler last year so will hopefully see reductions!
Life Ins 9
Home Ins 30 (building and contents with separate providers, cheapest for each)
Car insurance 21
Virgin 52 (this includes phone, internet, XL package, still in contract)
Mobile 35 (fixed contract taken out just before bombshell dropped for 2 years)
Lottery 5 (yes I know this is pointless, but it's nice to have that little bit of 'if I won I would...' and I don't buy tickets out of disposable income)
Childcare: 205

Total 1359 (from bills account)

leaves from my account 1005

Big shop 100 (this is what I do beginning of month to get essentials, nappies, meat, etc)
Contingency 45 (this includes going out (which we don't! and nice bits)
Presents 30
Me petrol 36
DH petrol 130 (yes I know a lot, no getting round :-( )
Small shops 160 (I know we could probably get this down even more, but have bad Morning Sickness at the minute and can't cook like usual, find junk to 'stick in the oven' costs more than the wholesome stuff I usually do, grrr!)
Spanish lessons 40 (DH has his money left over to spend as he pleases, this is my vice!)

Money left = 464

With regards to Car Maintenance, I have 260 to one side for my MOT next week and tax is paid up until next June. Once cards are paid off intend on having a cushion fund for things like car tax!

Medical, we have health plan so can claim back any costs,
Haircuts, I've had my once-yearly cut, and can easily cut back and glean 6 quid for DS from the shopping budget, DH has a lovely relationship with his clippers :-)

Entertainment: see contingency though polishing my halo we managed last month to spend only 20 of contingency on 'fun' the rest was on windscreen wiper blades - how rock 'n' roll. When we got out the shop I realised DH had picked up the more expensive ones, so waited in queue for 10 mins to save 10 pounds! How MSE of me lol

Debts: Lloyds TSB C/C 2520 (Interest rate is 1.01562, don't know what APR this makes it, but think it was quite competitive at the time)

Argos Card 520 (Interest free until Jan 2011)

At the minute I have budgeted from now until Christmas for #375 to go towards our cards, this month that will leave #89 for Christmas (with 4 kids and lots of nieces and nephews, can't be as stingy as we once were!) I have told DH that we have to this year do presents for each other that don't cost anything, I'm going to sing a song for him and have it recorded, plus have started stocking up on nik-naks for gift baskets for people... poundland here I come :-D

I am going to additionally put whatever is left after MOT (if there is any!) onto the credit card, plus anything else I can squirrell away. It's a 4 week month this month, so will hopefully be able to 'lose' 1 week's shopping on the C/C.

At the end of Nov and Dec I intend on putting 260 on the Argos card and the additional money on the C/C to clear that.

I think that's about it.

Ooh, and have had some potentially positive news... DH's company want to meet with him to try and buy him out of his car scheme, this would mean that they would have to substantially increase his wages to counter the costs, and he may end up being able to keep the car. Fingers crossed for Tuesday please!

guisantes

Hi Saorsie and thanks for the welcome and congratulations :-)

Oh believe me I did have my massive hissy fit when I first found out, I just did it out of DH's way! He feels so bad that it's impossible to say, he feels like he does long unsociable hours on call all the time for nothing at the end of the month, and is especially peeved that I work hard too to try and give us a good life when we're supporting the ex who lives the life of Riley! He genuinely had no clue that the arrears were so big (If he had, they would have been paid off years ago!)

DH actually started to descend into a big cloud which I was worried would be depression until we found out about the baby news, the problem is he feels like he 'deserves' to have 'stuff'. I don't know what the stuff is, whether it's takeaways, or toy helicopters, or a millionth tape measure!

I am of the opinion that although we deserve to have 'stuff' we deserve more not to have a cloud hanging over our head! I have tried to tell him that had we not been so blimmin' stoopid we would now have 400 a month to do what we wanted with! He's coming round to my way of thinking, this is why he has whatever's left in his account though, (and why I'm in charge of the money lol!)

My app on my phone lets me keep track of every tiny thing, as a rule I'm quite stingy (ironically!) when it comes to 'throwaway' things, so I don't buy coffee out, don't tend to pick up snacky things, I make my own lunch, fill up a water bottle from my fridge stick to a shopping list etc. but the credit card seems to have grown out of big things which we thought we needed (mattress, black out blind for DS's room, although, if you're sleep deprived you can see how I'd think that was a necessity ;-) )

And I would love it if you popped in to keep me company :-) Thank you!

guisantes

Well I have been looking around and think that NSD's are a fab idea. Looking back at what I've spent this week, Monday I nearly had an NSD (except for 60p that I spent on bread rolls - a necessity).

Wednesday I also 'nearly' had one. My friend and I went to a shop with nearly new kids bits and pieces that also has maternity stuff. I wasn't going to buy anything. (One of my lovely friends has just donated to me DS's winter wardrobe saving me loads of money!) But I managed to see a maternity cardigan in red which was only £7. Under usual circumstances I wouldn't have bought it (especially as it's still early) but seeing as I'm going to be pregnant all over winter, and it goes with a lots of the maternity clothes I already have (again kindly donated!) I feel like it was £7 well spent, particularly as a new one would have been a minimum of £30!

I didn't spend so much as a penny last Saturday and Sunday, and yesterday also didn't spend a thing. Woohoo! So that's 3 in the last week. Think I might try and set a target for October for NSD's to try and keep me motivated.

Went today to do our big shop now we've been paid. I budget £100 for the big shop. When I used to budget my big mistake would be trying to actually spend as little as physically possible, end up with not enough stuff, then end up spending more, getting disheartened as the budget was blown, then spend some more. Vicious cycle.

I've decided that now our big budget is there to be spent, even if it's to stock up on stuff for subsequent months. I will try and save money with the weekly shops if I can.

I did spend £100 today, (Well 99.63 to be precise, with the rounding up going into the savings) but that included a new pair of slippers for DS (£6) a big box of washing powder, nappies and wipes for the month and lots of frozen stuff.

I *hate* buying frozen rubbish to chuck in the oven, but have generally been feeling so dodgy that can only cope with cooking things like that at the minute. Usually I try and plan my meals, and do all sorts of lovely things, stir fry's, chilli, salmon, toad in the hole, but the smell of any of the above cooking is making me toilet bound. Still, at least I can't buy alcohol :-D Or lots of lovely new clothes cos they won't fit me soon! That must be saving money.

Going to try for another NSD tomorrow, have everything we need in the house :T

guisantes

Well have managed a NSD today (just!) I had to go and pick up my contacts today, but get clubcard points on them and claim 10.40 back through my cash plan, so don't class that as being money spent. Resisted the urge to buy anything else.

Managed to bag an invite to dad's for lunch as well (roast lamb followed by apple crumble yum!) so am going to cook up the salmon which we defrosted and do something with it for dinner tomorrow.

Was going to attempt to make the knead free bread rolls recipe on the OS board, but couldn't muster the energy. Have plenty of nibbly things in the house which we can have for tea.

I'm hoping that I can again sort out nibbly things for snacks tomorrow whilst I'm at work (in the morning) I usually have lunch with a friend on Mondays, then Spanish in the afternoon. If I can just avoid the sandwich lady (doesn't help not taking your wallet as she has a book you can put money on and owe her :-S ) I didn't use to have a problem avoiding her, but at the minute, am so fussy with what I eat that if I don't fancy anything that's with me, I have to have something else otherwise I end up feeling ill. Really fancy some olives and chorizo, but Asda didn't have any yesterday and was trying to avoid shopping today. Maybe this will be a Spanish baby lol.

DH is snoring on the sofa and the little dude is asleep, chilling out for the rest of the day I think :-)

jwil

Congratulations on the pregnancy guisantes, hope you feel better soon.

The CSA can be horrible! My DH got a letter from them through his work last year saying that they were going to take a load of his wages each month, with barely any notice. The problem was - he has no kids, has never met the woman in question, who actually lives the other side of the country! It appears that they had just gone to his employer with a name, they didn't check it properly and just gave them my DH's details so the CSA were prepared to take the money without actually having any contact with my DH! He was really mad, and incredibly worried at the time. Luckily it was all sorted, but I can't believe how they can just help themselves without any authorisation. I understand that it is difficult for the parents who are struggling to survive whilst the partner is avoiding paying, but you often hear of stories like yours, where the parent is trying, and seems to be worse off than the person they are supposed to be helping!

guisantes

Thanks for the congrats Jwil :-)

OMG at what the CSA did to your DH :eek: they are beyond shocking, assuming all men are deadbeat dads trying to skirt their responsibilities (even if they don't have any children, apparently!)

DH only has arrears because they screwed up at the start, and a simple phone call a few years ago may have meant they would have been paid off YEARS ago! We wouldn't mind *as* much if we were allowed a decent amount of access to the children, sadly that is not the case though. We are definitely worse off than DH's ex and her new husband, who are living the life of Riley!

I try mostly just to accept it as there's nothing we can do, and it does my blood pressure no good!

I'm going to post this now, and do an update in a minute, as I've tried to reply to your message 3 times in the last half hour, and kept losing the message by pressing the wrong button D'oh!

:rotfl:
P.S. sorry it took so long to reply, it's been a hectic week!

guisantes

OK, so this week could have been better, could have been worse.

I managed a NSD on Monday, was very pleased with myself! Had Spanish in the afternoon, but that was already paid for.

Tuesday: spent a grand total of £1.10. I had taken in loads of food anyway, but was still munchy and the baby (honest!) wanted chocolate and a strawberry yoghurt. I would have been a bad mummy to deny it. I have learned a lesson though, I'm going to buy some yoghurts for next week, even if a pack of 6 is £2.50 it will still work out cheaper next week.

Wednesday: This was going to be a NSD until it wasn't... :mad: I usually work Tuesday and Thursday, which gives me Mon to plan for Tuesday's dinner and Wed to plan for Thursday's. I defrosted some mince with the intention of cooking it Tuesday, but a) wanted to chuck at the thought of meat and b) was soooo tired after 3 days working (hopefully I'll feel better in a few weeks once the worst of this pregnancy lark is over!) so ended up caving in and going to the supermarket with DH. To be fair, we didn't cave in and get takeaway, like we would have done usually, but picked up some chicken from the chicken counter, some coleslaw, peppers, fresh bread rolls, and then some olives and continental meats. Like I say, it could have been worse, and at least what we bought has lasted for lunches for yesterday and today too, but I hadn't intended on Spending £11 :mad:

Ooh, nearly forgot, had to go and pick up my car on Wednesday after it was MOT'd. It failed, surprise surprise, and the quote for fixing it is £200 :eek: Still, I'd budgeted £260 for it, so was aware, but I'm still a bit gutted as had *hoped* not to have to spend it all, which I will have done with the cost of the MOT

Yesterday, got off to a fab start, went to see the midwife in the morning and book in, and saw some friends, spent some time playing with DS etc, and was on cue not to spend any money. I had to have my contact lense follow up since I've been trying new lenses, and this was at about 6.20. I knew I was going to have to spend and get lenses, but I wasn't too worried seeing as I can claim the money back through our healthplan. I also had a voucher for an extra £5 worth of clubcard points for spending over £50, so ended up spending about £60 (which I can claim back)

Problem was... it was very busy, so the optician told me to take 10 minutes and look around before ordering my lenses as I would be waiting a while. It's not very often I am actually able to go to the supermarket without a disgruntled male following behind, sometimes 2 (neither of my boys are shopping fans sadly!)

It would have been rude not to have a look around, especially as there was 20% off clothes.

To be fair, I did quite well, I bought a pair of flat winter boots (which I do genuinely need, I have none at all, and won't be able to walk in heels for much longer) and spent a grand total of £9.60 on them - bargain! Also bought a shampoo guard for £2.99 for DS, hopefully it will make bathtimes a bit more peaceful, this is again something I have been thinking about buying for a long time, not a frivolous one off.

Today has been a good day, I have not spent a penny, in fact, as we don't have anywhere particular to be, DS and I have had a lovely day of playing with Mr Potato Head, making chocolate orange muffins that I found the recipe for on the OS board (absolutely delicious!!!!) and cuddling under the blanket to avoid putting the heating on (how very MS :-D )

Tonight I'm going to a ladies pamper evening my SIL is organising, which will be £2.50 for entry, but don't intend to spend much more than that, I wouldn't be going if it weren't to give her some support, but I suppose it is being social without spending a fortune!

I am wondering, I am trying to justify my purchases, does it sound like I am justifying them because they are needed things, or wanted things, or a bit of both? I really want to move forward and be very money saving! Any feedback greatly appreciated :-)

guisantes

Having a good day today :-)

Went to the pamper night last night, and in addition to the £2.50, spent £1.50 on raffle tickets. But I got a gift bag which had a nice hand cream in, plus one of my friends gave me hers too as she's allergic. I'm going to add them to my gift hampers for my SIL and step-sister for Christmas so worked out to be a cheap evening!

Went to the pub afterwards, with a couple of friends and spent £2.20 on a drink and a packet of crisps. Bonus of being pregnant is that I can't be tempted to drink! After my lemonade and lime, I went on to (very rock and roll!) tap water!

Have about £3 left in my wallet, and I'm hoping to leave it there for as long as possible, but I'm a nightmare with cold hard cash, and it may well burn a hole!

I was waiting to send over a payment to my credit card until after I'd shelled out money for my contact lenses, and for the car MOT, but have been told it'll be £200 to fix the car, which is in the savings, and the contact lense amount that has come out of my account is £83 (exactly that which I budgeted for Christmas presents this month, spooky!) I'm due to receive £98 back, as I paid for my contact lense check-up and didn't include it in last month's, so that will be an extra £15 to either go towards Christmas presents or on the Credit Card. Woohoo!

Soooo... that means that today I have put £375 onto the credit card, taking the balance to 2146.43 :j

I'm not sure how successful I will be, but I would *like* to get Argos paid off (this is a must) and the credit card to £1500 by Christmas, that would make me very happy!

Then, after Christmas, any money that I'm putting towards Christmas will be going straight on the credit card.

Was looking into what we'll be entitled to with tax credits etc. with new baby, and was gutted to find out that we'll miss the one-off £190 maternity grant payment by 2 weeks!!! We just missed it last time as well, as it started not long after DS was born. Oh well, them's the kicks! Good job we intend to get out of debt earlier so we can buy the travel system ourselves with our hard earned cash!

Ooh, and DH had the chat re: his company car, which was a non-starter. They offered a stupid deal, which basically wouldn't cover the cost of him not having a car for longer than 2 years. He has said that he wants monthly re-imbursement, to cover running costs etc. But, he's spoken to the new boss, and explained that he's not had a pay rise for 3 years, despite being promised a change in title and pay rise back then! At the end of the year the new boss is looking at the situation, and it will hopefully result in a pay increase next year. Fingers crossed that if we play the long game we'll be better off long term. Hope everyone is having an awesome weekend!