Completely and Utterly Depressed - Fed Up Of It All!

Daisy4567

Hi All,

Well I've been mooching about these boards for a while and you'll see by my post count I've posted a few times but not often.

My DH and I are currently entering into an IVA with Grant Thornton. I've been struggling and carrying the weight of our debt for about 5 years. Quality of life is non existent and my health has suffered immensely because of it. I have terrible IBS and am under the Dr and on tablets for Depression and Anxiety.

The problems have been brought about by us helping out a family member to the tune of £13,000.00 + who just stopped paying us back and left us with the debt. Trying to meet this meant us then having to live on credit and rob Peter to pay Paul.

Bizarrely, although we are now entering into the IVA and I should feel relieved that hopefully we have a solution - I feel worse, awful.

Constantly on the verge of tears, IBS terrible and just generally feel like I've had enough!

I've got all the paperwork to sort for the IVA which just feels like a mountain to me and although I am very organised the thought of gathering it all together and sending off all my personal info and bank statements worries me.

I know that millions of other people feel this way too I'm sure and I've got no right to complain, but I've carried this alone for so long and although DH is now getting more involved I think I;m just left reeling from it all.

Sorry for long post - just felt I needed to get it out.

Thank you

looktothefuture

I didn't want to read and not reply - I have no advice for you except I know you can deal with this, and I know that you can get through the other side!

Everyone of us has been where you are and had the same feelings as you are having - I promise you, you will start to feel better about this decision!

xx Take Care xx

winner12

Hi there
Sometimes just writing down what you feel can help have you been advised correctly through one of the debt charities CCCS, National Debt Line etc its not clear from your post as an IVA is not always for everyone and sometimes they can recommend other solutions

Daisy4567

Thank you for your reply. It helps to know that I'm not alone and other people know how I feel. It just seems like I'm under a black cloud at the minute and no matter how hard I try to step from under it, it follows me every step of the way:(

podperson

*big hugs* I think most people on here have felt like this and that we have just got to our limits and it is a horrible feeling. I can totally relate to the feeling like you have to deal with it on your own as well since my OH never really wants to know about the debt issues and leaves it all to me to sort out. Try and think about the positive things (I know it's easier said then done!) you have taken control of your problems, you have sorted out a solution and you have something to work towards. That makes you a strong and resourceful person and you should be proud of yourself. Just hang in there and once everything is set up am sure it will be a lot easier x

Daisy4567

winner12 wrote: »

Hi there
Sometimes just writing down what you feel can help have you been advised correctly through one of the debt charities CCCS, National Debt Line etc its not clear from your post as an IVA is not always for everyone and sometimes they can recommend other solutions

Hi,

We've been to see the Money Advisor at our Local Council. He was really helpful and gave us our options. As I'm scared of going bankrupt and ending up homeless we decided to go for an IVA.

We've tried for 2 years to sell our home, 2 sales but both fell through! After seeing the Money Advisor we've removed it from the market as he said that actually it wouldn't achieve anything selling it as there's not enough equity to clear anything anyway. We live in a small 2 bed terrace.

Also found a big problem trying to find somewhere to rent with our now shattered credit and the fact we've got a small Bichon Frise.

Council said they could put us up in a hostel if push came to shove but I couldn't be without my little dog - we have no children due to all of this and she is like my Daughter. Sounds mushy but it's true.

The Money Advisor set us up a meeting with the IP who again took us through all our options and it definately seems like the IVA is best for us.

Thank you for your replies

dazzler123

*hugs*

Are you recieving counselling for your anxiety and depression? If not, I would suggest you enquire about it with the doctor?

Why don't you order this freebie from MSE? https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2598817

As a fellow IBS sufferer, I feel your pain. I find that my diet has a big impact on my IBS. If it's the same for you, then perhaps eating more nutritiously will ease the symptoms (if you dont eat nutritiously at the moment of course)?

Also, I find the people on this forum really reassuring and friendly, so keep active on this and it will surely keep you afloat. You've already done the hard part x

Daisy4567

dazzler123 wrote: »

*hugs*

Are you recieving counselling for your anxiety and depression? If not, I would suggest you enquire about it with the doctor?

Why don't you order this freebie from MSE? https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2598817

As a fellow IBS sufferer, I feel your pain. I find that my diet has a big impact on my IBS. If it's the same for you, then perhaps eating more nutritiously will ease the symptoms (if you dont eat nutritiously at the moment of course)?

Also, I find the people on this forum really reassuring and friendly, so keep active on this and it will surely keep you afloat. You've already done the hard part x

Thanks so much for that, I'll order one.

IBS does have food triggers but mainly it's stress related. So it's having a party right now!:mad:

Definately helps to have understanding people reply so thanks everyone

winner12

Hi there
I was`nt trying to pry but Im glad you are happy with your decision It may sound obvious but you are better staying in your house you would have regretted selling especially at present with the property market being so dire unless you have no debt then you can buy up someones home for a snip smacks of the late 80s early 90s to me I do hope everthing works out ok for you
Good Luck

Daisy4567

winner12 wrote: »

Hi there
I was`nt trying to pry but Im glad you are happy with your decision It may sound obvious but you are better staying in your house you would have regretted selling especially at present with the property market being so dire unless you have no debt then you can buy up someones home for a snip smacks of the late 80s early 90s to me I do hope everthing works out ok for you
Good Luck

Hi don't worry I didn't think you were prying - you're right, the property market is terrible at the mo, you are right. We thought it was best but it hasn't shifted anyway and I'm so worried about ending up with nowhere to go

cobblers_boy

Hi Daisy

Not much I can add but to echo the comments of all those above. I hope you get everything sorted and that it all works out in the end.

the people on the boards are fantastic and offer a huge amount of support to everybody. I have only recently started posting but seeing all their kind words all the time is truly wonderful.

Good Luck

CB