just some advice please

billy22

hello, my brother has split from his long term partner, he has 2 young teenagers, one son one daughter, no one else involved with split on either side. been separated 3 months now, the ex is becoming very contolling saying where and when he can see his children (2 hours once a forntnight on a wednesday between 6 and 8), we dont know where this is coming from or why, she is demanding money before he can see them and is becoming ever more vindictive.

my brother is unsure of what to do or where to go for advice, he is employed but doesnt earn much, after the first two weeks he gave her £150 cash, a friend of his advised him against this and suggested he write cheques to her with c.s.a. payment written on the back, he has done this every two weeks only to have the cheques returned through a friend of my brothers letter box with instruction for him to pay money into one of the childrens bank accounts without notes on the back, he is very close to the children and is devasated, he has kept all the cheques and the money is there for them but she is refusing to take them.

she is on benefits now, his name is still on the house, (private accomodation), whats the next step we should take

thank you

gratefulforhelp_2

First child support and contact should not be mixed up. His paying has nothing to do with seeing the children.

I would suggest he write to her formally and suggest what contact he wants, and says that he would like to make an arrangement and stick to it. At some point he may need a solicitor and even to go to court, so he needs to keep copies of all letters.

In terms of child support, he can work out the amount due on the CSA website, then write her a separate letter saying he will pay her x amount per month if she is happy to give him a recepit for each payment. Otherwise she will need to start a case with the CSA. There is nothing to stop him offering more than that amount, or sending her a link to the site so she can see the calculation.

There have been people on here who have had private arrangements for CS, then the PWC has gone to the CSA and denied the payments were for that purpose. Big trouble.

13Kent

ADVISE HIM NEVER TO PAY HER CASH, and to be very wary of any private arrangement - if she goes to CSA then denies he has paid anything in our experience they will take her word for it and he will end up with having to pay for arrears for money he has already paid.

Donedoingdebt

In any case, any money paid directly into any child's bank account will be regarded by the CSA as a gift / pocket money etc & will be disregarded as far as child maintenance is concerned.

This shouldn't be a problem as long as the CSA are not yet involved. However, if the PWC has already been in touch with the CSA without your Brother's knowledge, then he could be building up arrears, particularly if they are unaware of his current address. They will send any correspondence to a "confident" address, which may still be the last known address.

Bellio

Get in touch with the CSA. From personal experience, it will come back and bite you on the .... at some point, and if she is like this now, it may only get worse.