Please help, full and final settlement in divorce

witsend123

I am shaking typing this because I feel so sick just thinking about it. I have always been very careful with money and am in this situation because of my ex husband. When I eventually managed to leave him we had 2 joint loans, he agreed to take one I agreed to take the other. He has greater earning capacity than me as I have 3 children, one with a disability and one pre-schooler, the other is 12. Then he started his ultimate control as he wanted me out of the house, he didn't want it but he wanted to see me suffer for leaving him.

So he stopped going to work, his business is no longer. He was earning a very good salary. He gives me no money for child maintenance, lives with his mother who pays for his food, clothes, lodgings and gives him money to go out. But on top of everything he is defaulting on his loan and i am being chased because it's in joint names. I have some money that I want to make a full and final settlement offer. Over the last 2 months I have sold jewellery and a computer to make the payments of £304 each, bringing me out of arrears. I cannot afford to pay any more. My priority is keeping my home.

I have a credit card that I can afford to make payments to keep them off my back and the other joint loan that is £100 per month which is for my car and I am happy to pay that as part of the divorce settlement. I can afford these but cannot afford his loan too.

Question i'm leading up to is, do I have to make a f+f offer to all my creditors or can I do it with just this one, that he is defaulting on, that he has the court order to pay. We owe about £7000 and I was going to offer them £3500.

I have asked a solicitor if I can take him back to court to implement his order to pay the loan but really it's gonna cost so much to do that and if he's not working and not even claiming benefit, then he's not going to pay is he :-(.

Sorry if this is all garbled, I'm living on nervous energy

debtdesperado

Hi Witsend

Am sure others will be along with other advice. Take a deep breath!

Firstly, is your husband's loan secured on your house? If not, they can't force you out of the house if the loan is not paid. If it is, I would go and see the CAB to get some specialist advice, and then speak to your solicitor.

Assuming the loan is secured on the property, you don't say whether you got the house free and clear, or whether your husband still has a share of the house (eg he gets some profits when it is sold?). Ask your solicitor whether if you are made homeless, you could go back to court to get more maintenance from your husband eg to pay rent on a place for you and the children, or whether the children would have to go and live with your husband and his mother. The reason I say this is that it might work out to be cheaper for your husband to make the loan payments than to be forced to increase his maintenance (or to have his children live with him), and if so, it would be worth your solicitor pointing this out to him.

If the loan is not secured, don't make payments on your creidt card to pay it.

The other thing to do is remember that the debt collectors are only chasing you because you are easy to find. It might be worth getting a copy of the court order, (you might want to black out all the confidential information, apart from the bit saying that your husband has to pay this loan) and then send a copy to the debt collectors saying that you don't have to pay it, and that you will go back to court to enforce the order if necessary because you simply can't pay it and then see what they say.

I would also have a look on these boards for more advice on dealing with debt collectors as there are some great tips here.

CCCS_Sue

witsend123 wrote: »

I am shaking typing this because I feel so sick just thinking about it. I have always been very careful with money and am in this situation because of my ex husband. When I eventually managed to leave him we had 2 joint loans, he agreed to take one I agreed to take the other. He has greater earning capacity than me as I have 3 children, one with a disability and one pre-schooler, the other is 12. Then he started his ultimate control as he wanted me out of the house, he didn't want it but he wanted to see me suffer for leaving him.

So he stopped going to work, his business is no longer. He was earning a very good salary. He gives me no money for child maintenance, lives with his mother who pays for his food, clothes, lodgings and gives him money to go out. But on top of everything he is defaulting on his loan and i am being chased because it's in joint names. I have some money that I want to make a full and final settlement offer. Over the last 2 months I have sold jewellery and a computer to make the payments of £304 each, bringing me out of arrears. I cannot afford to pay any more. My priority is keeping my home.

I have a credit card that I can afford to make payments to keep them off my back and the other joint loan that is £100 per month which is for my car and I am happy to pay that as part of the divorce settlement. I can afford these but cannot afford his loan too.

Question i'm leading up to is, do I have to make a f+f offer to all my creditors or can I do it with just this one, that he is defaulting on, that he has the court order to pay. We owe about £7000 and I was going to offer them £3500.

I have asked a solicitor if I can take him back to court to implement his order to pay the loan but really it's gonna cost so much to do that and if he's not working and not even claiming benefit, then he's not going to pay is he :-(.

Sorry if this is all garbled, I'm living on nervous energy

Hi witsend123

Sorry to hear of your current situation.

As you say, because these are joint debts, if your ex husband defaults, then the creditors will pursue you for the outstanding balance.

Your main priority is your home.

I would advise against using your credit card to pay off existing debts as this could make your situation worse.
Put together a budget showing your income and expenditure. After paying all your priority bills, whatever is left is the amount you can realistically afford to offer your creditors. If there is nothing left, then you could offer token payments until your situation improves.

Before you look at making full and final settlements, I would recommend that you call us for an appointment to discuss your situation with one of our counsellors.
If full and final settlements were your best option, then we can help you further.


To book an appointment with one of our trained counsellors you would need to contact our helpline free on 0800 138 1111. Lines are open Monday to Friday 08:00-20:00. It would be helpful that when you call you have details ready regarding your income, expenditure and creditors, as this can help speed up the referral process. If you have this information ready it may be possible to refer you directly to a counsellor if one is available, otherwise we will arrange a time that is convenient for you to be called back for an appointment.

Alternatively you can visit our online debt advice facility called Debt Remedy. Debt Remedy would assist you in completing a financial statement and you would be provided with tailored advice on the best way to deal with your situation. This link will take you directly to Debt Remedy www.cccs.co.uk/ref/drcu

Regards
Sue

witsend123

Thankyou both so much for your advice. I could manage with the credit card and my car loan. Credit Card was used to pay solicitors fees because I didn't get legal aid at the time. I am still fighting him and have now managed to get legal aid. The loan that he has the order to pay is not secured on the home.

I had a feeling he would do everything in his power to destroy me if I ever left him, that's why I had to divorce him quickly. It was a race against time. He's maxed out on his own credit cards and has got in such a mess and he's ignoring it. I have his creditors phoning my home and I keep telling them that he no longer lives here, but I guess that's his problem..

With regard to the home. He has a 30% charge as long as my youngest child (aged 3) is in full time education. He is threatening me that he will go bankrupt and until I get the conveyancing finalised to transfer the property title into my sole name I guess it's possible I could lose the house. (he has also been ordered to do this but won't pay - his solicitor won't act for him now as he hasn't paid them). The conveyancing is being done now and I have legal aid to assist me.

I guess if he goes bankrupt they can only take his charge once legalities on house finalised??.

My immediate problem is this joint unsecured personal loan. I can just about to afford to live without him paying me any maintenance but only if I can clear the joint loan we have. The others I can manage :-(. That's why I was wondering if I can do a f+f on that one and continue to pay the credit card and my car loan as normal.

I think I will have to go ask the CCCS - thanks for the links

witsend123

forgot to say I have 3500 that my nan is offering me to help me pay some debts

Cyril

As a start I would give the loan companies his new address so at least they can contact him aswell. They will see you are trying to do something from your side but at the end of the day they can't have what you haven't got. Many people are making arrangements with creditors with or without a divorce so even though you are liable you can offer payments of what you can afford.

As you have children your priority is keeping a roof over their heads and no court is going to put a mother and Dependant children on the streets if you are making regular payments no matter how small.

Keep calm, write letters to the creditors and ask them to contact you only by letter if you feel they are calling an intrusive number of times and offer token payments. My feeling is that your nan's money be kept aside for emergencies, incase you need to find a rented property at some point and with 3 kids there may well be other needs.

PS youe ex sounds like a knob, what sort of man refuses to pay for his kids no matter how he feels about you.

witsend123

Thanks, glad I found this site, just some reassurance and kind words help in a matter like this. Because my bank account is the same company as my credit card company I defaulted on 1 payment by about a week and they took payment straight from my bank account. I have today got myself a bank account with Santander, they won't let me have an overdraft but at least I have a safety net of another account if I need one.

Like many other members of this forum, I can't wait to be out of this situation. I am keeping positive, my head down and not giving up.

RAS

Hi

You really need to move your income payments and your benefits from your old bank to your new one if you have a credit card with the old bank. They are legally entitled to take the lot to off-set against your CC debt if they wish.