cant cope with it all-life is so hard

lushbu246

me and my sister have lived together for over 6 months.we both had our own places but needed to save money so we decided to live together. our letting agent visited the flat and becuase of the mould they have decided not to renew our contract. we have known that we have to move out by Oct 20 for over a month now and only yesterday we were talking about looking for a nice house with a garden thats cheap. suddenly last nigth 6 weeks beofre the move she tells me she thinks she wants to live alone. this really does leave me in a mess and i think i had a panic./anxiety attack. coldnt speak couldnt stop trembling and crying and went mad. i felt like killing myself i was so stresse. i have no money in the bank to move into a new place- u need about £800 to move and i dont have anything. i got really angry and said some horrible things about how selfish she was. anyway in the morning i apoligied and begged her to change her mind and live with me for just 6 months more but she said i had made her mind up and she was leaving and she didnt owe me anything and that she needed to live her own life.

i feel so stupid for kicking up such a fuss and im in such a mess. hate this financial situation im in. have no money to do anything or even get a place of my own. dont want to share with strangers but cant afford to live alone. feel like ending it some days. feel like im a burden on my family with my money difficulties and also my poor mental health.
cant face my sister tonigth knowing she hates me. my ex partner has said i can live with him rent free for a while but i feel weird doing that as im seeing someone new. i feel so trapped and depressed and im sat at work crying and feeling sorry for myself-hate myself for feeling sorry for myself!

Devi

didn't want to read and run but things may look a little bleak now but taking some control will make you feel better.

It's clear that your sister would like to branch out on her own and you still have 6 weeks to save for and find a place of your own.

the reality is that you will probably have to share with strangers until your financial situation improves so trying looking on websites such as gumtree for house shares in the area you live in.

hope things work out well for you - good luck.

do_it_today!

Hi I hope things improve for you soon, as previous poster said look at various house share ads, you may meet some new friends in the process, the main thing is to have a plan of action re. your debts, try and stick to it and get some support about how you are feeling. Hopefully someone will come along and reccomend some helplines you might be able to call for some support.
good luck

Tixy

Hi lush

Sorry things seem so tough at the moment.

Do you have a deposit on your current property that you will get back at the end of your tenancy (or half if its shared with sister). Can you use that towards a deposit on a new place?

Living with strangers can be daunting but can often work out okay. Is it worth asking around if any friends /work colleagues etc would be interested in a lodger (a lot of people are struggling financially at the moment so might be glad to have someone they know renting a room from them). If you work for a large employer do you have a noticeboard at work you could put a note on?

Aside from that option then I would suggest you spend some time looking for what might be available to rent, look at house shares, lodgings and perhaps bedsits to see what they would all cost. If you are on a low wage it might be worth looking to see if you would be entitled to some housing benefit.

With regards to your sister, I'm sure she doesn't hate you, she may just be ready for her own independance. I would talk to her tonight apologise for some of the things you said and just explain you were caught off guard by her announcement and reacted badly as you are worried about finding somewhere to live.

Do you live near to your parents or other relatives? would it be an option to move back to your parents whilst you get some savings together and perhaps tackle some of your other issues? You mention you have poor mental health, are you getting any treatment/advice on this? if not then it would be worth going to see your GP to talk about things with them.

Might also be worth talking to shelter for some advice from them.

Whilst I don't think it sounds ideal if you do have to move in with your ex perhaps you could agree it is just for a set short period of time and perhaps you would feel better about it if you were paying some rent - even if only a very low amount. It might make you feel less weird and obligated to him.

On the finances side of things do you have debts? have you had debt advice from one of the debt charities? Do you have a statement of affairs/ income & expenditure account? If so can you make adjustments on this to see if you could cope if you rented a place alone.

Good luck.

boblardo

Hi Lush

sorry to hear of your troubles you will find tremendous support on these forums.

The only thing I can add here is; have you approached your local housing authority. You are being made homeless, through no fault of your own and cannot afford private rents then they should be able to help you.

Hope this helps and good luck

Bob