How can they do this? Urgent advice please - freaking out.

blondieliz

Please can someone offer me advice?

I am freaking out right now. Just had a massive panic attack.

On Friday Northern Rock agreed on a 3,800 Full and Final for an 18k unsecured loan. It has been dealt with a lot by my solicitor as it was from a messy split with an ex. I was over joyed when my ex called my mum to let her know. Apparently when our first F&F was turned down NR were asked what they WOULD accept. They gave us the 3.8k figure and we both agreed separately on the phone. I asked for it in writing and they agreed that they would send it out that evening.

I just had a voicemail to call them asap (as did the ex), we did and were advised that they had now reviewed the case again and they were declining – they offered it to us?!?!

What can I do? How can they change their minds and mess us about. I thought this was over and I could move on, but they have just decided against it. The solicitor says that he will try to hold them to it, but I have lost all hope. Can’t stop stressing – what can I do?!

HELP.

Broken_hearted

No real help but will try. Was it a conditional offer, do you have it in writing and if so are there any get out clauses.

saltnvinegar

Hi BlondieLiz

I know its difficult to do and an easy thing to say but the first thing you can do is stop stressing.

Your solicitor is dealing with this right? So you are paying for your solicitor to deal with this on your behalf so let them deal with it and deal with the stress.

Did NR actually put this F&F offer to you in writing? If so this gives you (and the solicitor you are paying) much more leverage over NR.

Your solicitor has said he will try and hold NR to their original figure, leave the matter with him for the moment, this is what you are paying him for, and see what he comes back with. For the moment you may be stressing unnecessarily.

SnV

blondieliz

Hi all,

Thank you.

My mom is paying for the solicitor as quite honestly this has almost given me a nervous breakdown.

There were no conditions, just that we had to had to pay it on the same day (my ex and I). It wasn't in writing - this is what I calld them to request on Friday. They confirmed it again verbally, I couldn't believe that it was nearly over, so asked if there was anyway it would be withdrawn, they said no, it was a definate full and final offer.

I can't believe this. I am stressing I am trying not to, but I am. This is never going to be over.

SusieT

Leave it with your solicitor, panicing and getting stressed is what they want as it will make you easier to persuade to pay more!

Hope he gets it sorted for you.

saltnvinegar

Hi BlondieLiz

Ok, look at it another way, you could have paid their 'offer' on the same day and they could now be still demanding more as nothing was put in writing. So you have done the right thing.

But don't think this is never going to be over, the fact that NR are talking F&F offers means they are at that stage, they are just playing games and holding out as they think they can get more money from you. The more stressed you get the more games they will play as stressed people are easier to exhort money from.

I know its tougher as unfortunately the whole thing is intertwined with your seperation but you obviously have support from a great mum and you have a solicitor who is shielding you from the silly games NR are playing. Let the solicitor do what they are being paid to do.

If NR do not play ball then personally I would call their bluff and inform your solicitor to instruct NR that as a result of their review a F&F settlement may not be possible and the maximum amount you can afford to pay would be £xx (enter minimal figure here) per month.

I would also state that the £3800 F&F previously offered and accepted was only under consideration due to another family member offering to pay and that delays may put this possibility at risk (or words to that effect).

But that obviously ups the ante and if your ex is also liable he may not want to that level of confrontation either.

Regardless you still need to let your solicitor earn his money so see what he comes back with.....

SnV

blondieliz

Yep - looks like they have defo changed their mind. Ex has called them also and they have decided that they don't want to accept the offer that THEY made gave us.

I really feel so low. All weekend I was so happy,so thrilled that there was a light at the end of this tunnel that has seemed never ending. Now I am feeling lower than I have ever felt. I can't see the point anymore. I have been fighting and trying and saving to get in to a place where my husband and I could move on. 4 years this has been dragging on. 4 years of worry and stress, and now it's STILL not done.

All I want is to move on properly and cut ties with my horrible ex. I want my own life where I can move on and actually afford to buy things like clothes and go to the cinema etc.

I feel like I have hit a wall and can see my next step.

barbiedoll

Hi Blondieliz.
I'm sorry that this is making you feel so bad, I know what it's like to have a big debt hanging over you. Please stop stressing out so much, it's not worth ruining your health over this, as someone said earlier, NR are obviously open to a F&F so don't give up just because some t**t at NR made a mistake. Get your solicitor to write to NR, offering the 3.8K and making sure that the rest of the debt is "written off", in that they can't sell the remaining balance on for someone else to chase. Don't let your solicitor send any letters before you have seen them, you need to make sure that the wording is correct. You could always send the letter yourself, if your mum is paying a solicitor, she could be giving you that money towards the debt instead
There's a good template on here...
http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/england_wales/debt_advice.php#6

The end may well be in sight with this, they are clearly up for a quick settlement, don't be bullied by them and don't even think about making a payment over the phone, despite what they say about paying "today only", if they want the money that bad, they will wait. You need confirmation in writing, as you have found out already. They will come back to you sooner or later, so calm down, you WILL get your life back.

BTW, I know what you mean about buying clothes and cinema visits etc. I hate denying everyone a pizza on Friday nights or a trip to the funfair in the holidays. I spent £11 in Primark yesterday, on kids pyjamas and underwear and there were so many nice things that I wanted for myself. But it won't be forever and we're not the only ones suffering. You are in a great position so hang in there, hopefully this can be resolved soon. Good luck!

blondieliz

Ok, so I am rambling here, but i am thinking of sending this letter to NR. I know that my solicitor is working to, but I feel helpless and like I need to do something.

What do you think....

I write with reference to the money which you are claiming on the above account.

I can confirm that we are unable to offer to pay the money which we owe in full. However, we can raise the amount of £3848 (or the amount that you initially agreed to as F&F on our numerous calls dated 09/09/10 & 10/9/10 and then, after plans were in place, changed your minds.) and I want to offer this an ex-gratia payment in full and final settlement of the account. This offer is made on the clear understanding that, if accepted, neither you nor any associate company will take any other action to enforce or pursue this debt in any way whatsoever and that we will be released for any liability.

I also request that, if accepted, you will make an entry on a credit reference agency file relating to the above account as "satisfied" in full.

Payment can be made within 2 weeks of receiving your written agreement of this offer. I understand that there has been some confusion around this offer, however please understand that my situation is as such that no further funds can be raised from elsewhere. You reneged on your offer to us and I would implore you to accept.

I look forward to receiving your reply via my solicitor.

barbiedoll

That's fine but try to insert something like "we can raise the amount of £3848, due to a family member lending us the funds" so that they realise that you don't have that sort of money just lying around.

Miss_Poohs

Not much to offer in the way of advice Liz - just wanted to offer my support, and hope you reach a solution very soon.

Miss P