Accepting a job offer / staying with current company (??)

jaymo2010

Basically I need a bit of advice. I've been unhappy in my current job so I decided to start applying for other jobs, went for an interview and got the job.

I was sent a letter basically saying that I'd got the job as long as my references came in okay. No problems so far. But I've had a week or so to consider my situation and I was starting to have doubts. I then talked myself into the job, I'd got into a rut in my current role and felt this was going to be a new challenge.

As it stands at the moment I know my new company having got all my references but I'd decided to hand in my notice anyway to get the ball rolling. Unfortunately I'm starting to have doubts again and I get the feeling that my existing company will make me an offer to stay. The roles are similar, and the companies are a similar size and location (only a short car drive away).

If they do want me to stay, could I change my mind with the other company and what is the best way to go about it? I accept that I'd burn my bridges with the other company forever (or for a good few years anyway) but is it possible? I've indicated to them a start date (by email) but haven't signed a contract with them because they wont send out any paperwork without the outstanding reference (which I understand is on its way). My notice has been handed in obviously, but if I'm right about them wanting me to stay then I'd like to at least consider what they have to say before shutting the door completely.

At this stage I don't want to rule anything out, although the clock is ticking and I need to get my head sorted about where I'll be in a few weeks time. Any thoughts?

FATBALLZ

What is prompting the move? Money? Career opportunities? If you didn't sign anything with the new company I can't see that theres any legal implications, but you will probably let them down if you change your mind about their job, although "I was made a very good offer to stay" is more understandable than "I've changed my mind I don't want to work for you after all".

I'm in a similar situation, except I'm not expecting an offer to stay. But to be honest, even if I was made a good offer I'd probably leave anyway, as I could see the same issues making me unhappy again in a couple of years when my career moves on again and the company don't keep up.

LittleVoice

It sounds as though your current company has not yet sounded you out about staying. They are surely one of your referees and will have been alerted to your impending resignation because of the request for a reference which would have been requested because a job offer had been made and provisionally accepted. If they wanted you to stay, why have they not already discussed this with you?

If you stay they may well still be expecting you to move fairly quickly because you have shown dissatisfaction with them already.

List the pros and cons of each job and see if you can "weight" each point. See if that helps you decide what you really want to do.

jaymo2010

My current company were expecting the reference request because I'd spoken to my manager before they received the request. I've had a couple of meetings to discuss why I'm leaving and I would say that my reason for leaving is actually a combination of things rather than anything specific.

They looked all set to wish me luck and that would be it, matter closed, however after I handed in my notice, the mood seems to have changed and after my latest conversation I'm fully expecting them to offer me "something" early this coming week.

I hate letting people down, I really do, but if they match my job offer in terms of salary and promise to look at some of the other issues that I've mentioned to them then I may yet decide that I would like to stay. I guess I'm just trying to understand at what point is it "too late" to go back on my original decision - if its now then I guess I'll just get on with it, if its not too late then I owe it to myself to hear what (if anything) gets offered to me.

LittleVoice

1 Technically at the moment the job offer you have from the other company is conditional and therefore it was quite trusting/daring of you to hand in your notice to your current employer. I would recommend that for the future, you wait until you have an unconditional offer before resigning.

2 You may now be thinking "better the devil you know" or simply be concerned about moving to a new environment. Perhaps you haven't changed employer many times in your career. One advantage of staying with your current employer is that you have mo9re employment rights (assuming you have been with the employer for a year) than you would initially have with the prospective one.

3 Until the offer has become unconditional (that is they confirm they are satisfied with all the references and there is nothing else they want), I woud suggest you don't formally accept the offer. That is my very cautious view.

4 Good luck as you work through this one.

jaymo2010

It was against my better judgment that I handed my notice in, however the new company have a reference from my current employer so they're just waiting for personal refs to close the deal as it were.

Can you just clarify what consitutes formal acceptance? Could they say that because I've provided them with a start date that I've accepted formally or does that only count when they've sent their offer letter confirming all the details and not just a "well done you've got the job subject to refs" letter.

I've never had the experience of moving to another company before so this is all a first for me. I'm naturally a cautious person, but I'll admit that I handed in my notice to get things moving (apparently a formal letter couldn't be sent out without knowing a start date) and the new company started putting quite a bit of pressure on me.

Like I've said, this is a first for me, and I'll know better next time - I just need to get through this week I guess so that I can at least clear my head and prepare for whatever role I take on going forward.

LittleVoice

Don't worry about the formal acceptance - in reality it could only be a potential problem for someone on a very high salary where there could be any consequence for changing your mind.

Don't be over-concerned about letting down the prospective employer if you decide to stay where you are. It would be better for them for you to not join them than to start and leave after a couple of months - which happens when people have been searching for a job and something takes a while to progress through all the recruitment processes.

BexInLondon

My experience has been that once someone has worked themselves up to leaving, particularly up to the point of interviews, it's only a matter of time before they do. If I was your mate and we were discussing this down the pub I'd say "chances are you'll be wanting to leave in 6 months time anyway!" That's not always the case, but generally it's what I've seen.