Is there light at the end of the tunnel?!

Metal_Guru_2

Hello, I’ve been reading other people’s stories on here for some time but this is my first post. It’s quite long but I hope some of you will take the time to read it and let me know what you think. I have just set up a DMP with the CCCS and my creditors are chasing me/deciding whether to accept offers. My total debt is around 56K with 9 creditors, all credit cards and loans (no mortgage). Obviously I’ve not read every post, but it seems that people whose debt is as high as mine usually include a mortgage. I have no property or other assets and live in rented accommodation. My debt is the result of 15 years of foolishly making full use of the high credit limits offered by card companies, then consolidating into loans, then running up cards again – until my debt reached mammoth proportions, coinciding with the credit crunch when APRs leapt from under 10% to over 30% in some cases. I fully accept that my debt is my own fault, although I also have mental health problems (previously undiagnosed) which have affected my judgement in spending matters and which I am now having treatment for. I am doing something about my problems, and it is a relief to have a manageable budget with CCCS’s help after so many years of juggling payments every month – but I am terrified at the impact the DMP will have on my life. The CCCS estimates that my debt will take 6 years to repay, if creditors freeze interest and charges, and beyond that my credit record will be affected for 6 years. 12 years seems a very long time before I can even think of doing the things my friends and family take for granted such as buying a house (many will have paid off their mortgages by then). I have only told a couple of very close friends about my DMP as I am embarrassed about my financial situation – the rest have no idea and will soon start to wonder why holidays and Christmas presents have dried up. I am not in a relationship and think nobody will want to go near me with my debt problems. I am feeling overwhelmed and very down about my situation and wondering whether bankruptcy (or a one-way ticket to Mexico) would be a better option. I am sorry to be so negative on my first post. I have been really impressed by the support given on this forum and I suppose I’m hoping that somebody reading this might have some words of advice or encouragement based on their experience.

Cyril

I think you've made a great start facing up to your debts and joining the CCCS. As you say the repayments are more manageable and you will find you will soon settle into a routine. There is a great freedom in knowing that although you spend less it is your money to spend and not more debt being accrued. I also wondered how I would cope not having credit cards as back up for emergencies but i've been on a DMP now for two years and am surprisingly used to it. You so have to be more organised and think ahead, particularly for annual payments ie insurance. If I forgot i'd stick it on my credit card but now I can't do that.

As for falling behind with friends, family etc in the mortgage stakes I wouldn't worry. What you'll probably find is that an awful lot of those people are also in a lot of debt and doing a lot of juggling for years to come. They may be wracking up more debt whereas yours will be coming down.

Regarding Xmas and birthday presents it doesn't mean people won't receive gifts it means that you'll put more thought into them. Ie. chose smaller more personal / appropriate gifts ie the latest novel of their fave writer. You may even make some gifts. At the end of the day present giving is not a competition to see who can give the most expensive present.Its about spending time with loved ones and anyone who makes you feel otherwise is not worth wasting your time on.

Post your budget details and we can have a look for you and make recomendations if needed.

You'll be fine.

podperson

Hi there,

First of all, well done on tackling the debt and getting a dmp started up! Although 6 years can seem like a long time considering the amount of debt it's not really that bad - I'm sure you'll see a lot of people on here with much longer ones. Regarding 12 years before your credit is sorted, it is highly unlikely to take that long. The main thing that will adversely affect your credit is defaults on the debt and most of your creditors, if they are going to add these, will do so around this time while the dmp is starting out and their payments have been reduced. Once they have defaulted you for a debt they can't do it again and it will drop off your credit history in 6 years. So when your dmp is finishing most of the defaults should hopefully be dropping off your credit record as well.
Regarding presents, last Christmas I just decided to be straight with family and friends and told them that I didn't have a lot of money at the moment so I was just going to be doing very small gifts or just for the children. I was really surprised how positive everyone was and how many other people said they were relieved I had mentioned it as they were in a similar position but hadn't wanted to say anything (and some of those were people I thought were doing well financially, so you just never know!). Anyone who is going to be negative about something like that really doesn't deserve your time.

debtdesperado

Hi Metal Guru

There is light at the end of the tunnel... my debt (excluding my hooooge mortgage) at the start of my dfw journey was £42k in Sept 2008. By this Christmas, it will hopefully be around £10k.

I wasn't on a dmp or anything like that, I have lived very, very, very frugally and thrown everything at the debt. It has been really hard at times, but I'm so pleased that I have learnt to live so much more simply.

You have done amazingly well to face up to things, but it sounds as if you are thinking too far in advance, which is what is dragging you down. Everyone does it at first! You start projecting into the future, and then it all gets overwhelming and negative. Put the brakes on thinking like that! Time will always pass; you don't need to worry about that. Inevitably, one day you will be debt free as long as you can stick with the repayments. So focus on the daily picture: just for today, I will not add to my debt and I will make sure I put some money towards this month's debt payment.

The other thing is presents - can you suggest to your family doing a secret santa (set a limit eg £50) and then just pull one name out of the hat to buy for? We do that in my family, and the first year I suggested it, I was really suprised at how relieved everyone was and how readily they agreed.

The only thing that I actually missed was that horrible january sinking feeling when you open your credit card bills....:rotfl: I had grown so used to having no money in january and then racking up even more credit card debt in the sales and feeling all-round awful and stressed about money that it was a revelation to realise that I wasn't carrying any debt from that christmas into the new year.:)

The other thing I noticed as soon as I stopped buying people presents all the time was that really I was just trying to 'buy' their love or have them be impressed with me. Some close friends have actually admitted that they were relieved when I stopped buying as my presents were generally really over the top...:o

I also felt very strongly that no one would want me with debt, and used to think it best if I stayed single. But if I think about it now, and put myself in the other person's shoes, firstly it wouldn't be debt that would put me off someone, it would be their attitude to that debt.

Someone who had faced their debt problem with courage, and honesty and had tenaciously sorted their debt out, honourably paying it off rather than running away or declaring bankruptcy, had developed self-discipline and self-control and could live frugally if necessary - well, that person would actually be a fine choice for a life partner, even better than someone who had never had a debt problem and therefore never needed to develop those qualities. Stick with your repayments and these are all qualities which you will develop.:T

The mantra which has kept me going through the whole thing:

Don't look up at the mountain, just start climbing.

Metal_Guru_2

Thank you everyone for your reassuring words and sensible advice. I was feeling very much alone and a failure, but you've helped me see there is hope! I am looking ahead and seeing a big black hole, whereas I should be thankful that today I still have somewhere to live, a job and all the rubbish my credit cards have paid for (ebay here I come?!). I will need to adjust to a different lifestyle, as many of my friends are quite well-off and enjoy life's luxuries - but that's probably what helped get me into this mess in the first place! It'll be interesting to see which friends hang around when I suggest walks in the park instead of shopping trips - but I've a feeling they will be the ones worth having in the long run.