In a bit of a muddle

Lexxi

I'm not sure what else to say!!
I have £700 in my bank account, about £9000 worth of debt, abot £4000 is on 0% cards, one of which was just cash borrowed to sit in the savings account until I needed to pay off the other 0% card, however, nothings gone to plan, I had to use the savings to pay for essentials, I've just started a new job but I'm not sure when I'll get paid. OH took a job that was 60% of profit but the place isn't making enough to pay bills let alone make a profit, we took another job a few months ago, a live in job, but the owner decided to sack OH after a week, because he wouldn't wear a t shirt he wasn't provided with, they owe us about £600 and doesn't look like they're going to pay. I'm really down because of something that happened last year, I started a job but couldn't face going in, they owe me a few days wages, I've just been put on anti depressants but they take 3 weeks to kick in, I'm so worried that I wont be able to handle this job, it's full time so I can't see my counsellor. I'm trying to tackle all the debts that have built up, I've had my mum phone people pretending to be me so that she can make agreements. I've made the first payments then read one letter, they took me to court after the agreement was made and have added a extra £160 to the bill. They all stem from an attack where there isn't even going to be a prosecution anyway, I feel so helpless with it all, I'm usually so good with money but I just couldn't face dealing with anything, I still don't want to but OH isn't good with money, although he is trying. Sorry for being so rambley, I'm just so fed up, I remortgage in a couple of months, I don't know whether to borrow extra to clear everything so I can get on an even footing or just continue paying the bear minimum of everything, which will mean that my 0% will end of at least one of my cards. I don't know what my monthly pay works out at so I don't know if my wage alone will cover the bills, OH does plastering work but it's not regular work/money really. We also get married in November, some bits have been paid off, some family members are contributing, no one knows about what happened to me other than OH. I have about £1000 to pay for, that's for different things, about £500 of that is cars which we can do without, depending on the contract, I'm not cancelling if I still have to pay for it.
Sorry for apologising for rambling then carrying on rambling!!! What do I do?

LandyAndy

Lexxi wrote: »

I'm not sure what else to say!!
I have £700 in my bank account, about £9000 worth of debt, abot £4000 is on 0% cards, one of which was just cash borrowed to sit in the savings account until I needed to pay off the other 0% card.

However, nothings gone to plan, I had to use the savings to pay for essentials, I've just started a new job but I'm not sure when I'll get paid.

OH took a job that was 60% of profit but the place isn't making enough to pay bills let alone make a profit.

We took another job a few months ago, a live in job, but the owner decided to sack OH after a week, because he wouldn't wear a t shirt he wasn't provided with, They owe us about £600 and doesn't look like they're going to pay.

I'm really down because of something that happened last year, I started a job but couldn't face going in, they owe me a few days wages.

I've just been put on anti depressants but they take 3 weeks to kick in, I'm so worried that I wont be able to handle this job, it's full time so I can't see my counsellor.

I'm trying to tackle all the debts that have built up, I've had my mum phone people pretending to be me so that she can make agreements.

I've made the first payments then read one letter. They took me to court after the agreement was made and have added a extra £160 to the bill.

They all stem from an attack where there isn't even going to be a prosecution anyway.
I feel so helpless with it all, I'm usually so good with money but I just couldn't face dealing with anything. I still don't want to but OH isn't good with money, although he is trying.

Sorry for being so rambley, I'm just so fed up.

I remortgage in a couple of months, I don't know whether to borrow extra to clear everything so I can get on an even footing or just continue paying the bear minimum of everything, which will mean that my 0% will end of at least one of my cards.

I don't know what my monthly pay works out at so I don't know if my wage alone will cover the bills.

OH does plastering work but it's not regular work/money really.

We also get married in November, some bits have been paid off, some family members are contributing.

No one knows about what happened to me other than OH. I have about £1000 to pay for, that's for different things, about £500 of that is cars which we can do without, depending on the contract, I'm not cancelling if I still have to pay for it.

Sorry for apologising for rambling then carrying on rambling!!! What do I do?

Started by trying to make your post easier to read and comment on. Just trying to help:).

kezzygirl

Hi, firstly you can start by calling your new employer and asking what your wage is.I fyou already know then you could google tax calculator and it will come up with a website and you put your income in and it will tell you how much tax you have to pay...you will then know how much money you will receive.
With regards to prosecution, you will have to speak to the police about that.
Have you tried contacting your old employer who owes you money?

On the depression note, I would keep a worry diary and also take time for you by doing activities that you enjoy.Employers also have a duty to allow you time off for appointments and so you should still be able to see your counsellor..I would recommend it.

Hope you get sorted x

katsu

Start by working out who you owe money to and what your expenses are, so you know where you can save money and what you need money for. Do this by looking at your bills, bank account details etc.

You can fill out an SOA template (see the sticky forum threads) and post it here for advice.

Good luck.

tonyE1

I think if you are about to remortgage and can put your debt on to it then that it what I would do although to depends to a certain extent on what you believe interest rates/inflation will do over the coming years. I would say consider rates rising 1%/year for the next 4-5 years and if your mortgage / budget will accommodate then adding is your best option. The stress of being unable to pay bills as they become due can become unbearable - I know I've been there - so accept it is a debt and deal with it in the best possible way for your health.
If you are unsure what your pay is going to be if its because you only know your yearly gross I am sure there are websites that will calculate your monthly/weekly net.
Good luck

Hannah_10

There are two things you need to separate here. One is your debt and the other is your emotional wellfare.

I am glad you have a counsellor, I think in the situation you are in with not feeling able to get support from your family that the counselling could be an absolute life saver.

For about the last 12 years I have been a volunteer supporting survivors of sexual violence, across the entire spectrum of what "violence" can mean. I have spoken to any number of men and women who, like you, are concealling something that happened to them and finding that choice harder to bear than they ever thought they would. I am not saying what happened to you was necassarily sexual, but just that I have seen concealled dispair before, many times.

No survivor of any attack, however that attack manifested itself, should feel they have to carry the can alone. There are knock-on impacts from being the victim of a traumatic incident which can be very hard for people outside of the loop to understand. There are social judgements and predjudices and very few people are even equipped to be able to hear about something so shocking without trying to drive it away with statments like "get over it". There are people trained and able to understand what it is like to have your trust in humanity suddenly shattered, those people will not be so dismissive. If you are finding it difficult to find a safe outlet for your feelings then Victim Support have a directory and signposting service to help you. This is thier website (with contact phone number) http://www.victimsupport.org.uk/

Again I am going to say, with how fragile you are feeling right now, I don't think you should be taking on the burden of managing your way out of debt alone. If I were a friend of yours and not an anonymous forum-user I would be saying to you I'll bring a calculator and pad of paper round, you get the tea on and we'll work our way through it bit by bit. I feel you really could do with someone by your side and ongoing help with progressing a little at a time, so I'm going to refer you on to a face-to-face debt help organisation who are entirely free and can meet you as often as you need to work through things. They are called the Citizens Advice Bureax and they have offices in pretty much every town/area in Britian. This is their link... http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

There are a lot of companies out there who would like to cash in on your situation and make a profit from your troubles. Martin Lewis advises you don't go to them and I can only echo that (although I would probably amplify it a bit and start including words like "barge pole" and "not with a"). The CAB I just mentioned are one he does advise, as are the Consumer Credit Counselling Service, National Debtline and Christians Against Poverty. They are all charities. Any of those are worth taking the time to phone, but they don't generally do face-to-face and ongoing help, so I'm thinking CAB might suit you best, feel free to chose any of the others if they appeal more. This link is Martin's advice... http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan

Also, Mind have a heck of a set of resources on employment, money and mental health, but also on depression, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), trauma, medicines and other topics that might be of interest. Here are a few links I found for you by browsing round thier website...

Page on "how we can help you"... http://www.mind.org.uk/help?1=
Page on depression... http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_and_conditions/depression
Page on antidepressants... http://www.mind.org.uk/help/medical_and_alternative_care/making_sense_of_antidepressants
Page on CBT... http://www.mind.org.uk/help/medical_and_alternative_care/making_sense_of_cognitive_behaviour_therapy
And last but not least big directory page on mental health, employment and money... http://www.mind.org.uk/help/money_and_employment

Life is downright unfair sometimes, but a full recovery is possible and you can get there. Getting some additional support is a really good idea.

Here's a nice virtual cup of tea and a virtual chocolate bunny too :coffee: :EasterBun

savingholmes

Hi Lexxi - some good advice from Hannah

Hope you manage to access some more help.... I think it is important too to plan in some positive things to look forward to - hopefully that will keep you going through the tough times. Feeling depressed can be very isolating - however as a fellow suffer I find when I have opened up about it a) there is support out there and b) lots of others have similar experiences/conditions and I find it is not just me on my own after all!

Keep posting! Good luck!

whyowhy_2

Hi Lexxi

I am a sufferer too, and know how hard dealing with debt and depression at the same time can be. The world is unjust, there's no doubt about it. It seems to have a habit of putting the boot in when one is most vulnerable.

Just to let you know that you are not alone x

Lexxi

Thank you for all the replies, sorry my first post was a bit garbled, I'm a little calmer now so hopefully this post will be more coherent...!

I'm just googling tax calculator now, if I've done it right I get to 965.35. I'm not sure of the pay date but I will ask tomorrow.
I didn't realise the employer had a duty to let me attend appointments, I've left a message cancelling tomorrows appointment so I'll speak to my boss tomorrow and see what can be done. I kind of didn't want to let them know, it just feels like a bit of a haven when you can go somewhere that doesn't know you have issues, that's probably just me though.

Victim support did get in touch and I should have had an appointment last week, I didn't go as I had a stomach bug and just slept most of the day. I feel a bit reluctant to phone in case they think I'm messing them about.

The police aren't going to prosecute.

I need to write to my employer and give them my details and ask for my wages, it's only a few days but it's still money and much needed. I have a cheque here too for £250, I sold a health story to a magazine, they've put the wrong name on so I have to get that changed. My remortgage also comes with cashback and no fee, I just have to decide if I want to borrow more first.

I'm going to have something to eat and then will do a SOA

Thank you for the links Hannah, I will have a look through them.

At the moment I think the debt is manageable now we are both earning again, I guess I'll find out once I've done a SOA

Lexxi

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household.........
Number of cars owned.................... 1
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 965.35
Partners monthly income after tax....... 400
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 400
Total monthly income.................... 1765.35
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 240
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 500
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 106
Electricity............................. 50
Gas..................................... 50
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 6.2
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 80
TV Licence.............................. 13
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 15
Groceries etc. ......................... 200
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 200
Road tax................................ 20
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 80
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 7.2
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 10
Contents insurance...................... 8
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 15
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 26
wood.................................... 70
cigs.................................... 300
Total monthly expenses.................. 1996.4

Assets
Cash.................................... 700
House value (Gross)..................... 90000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 1700
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 92400

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 65000....(240)......1.49
Total secured & HP debts...... 65000.....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
barclaycard....................2029.6....5.09......0
Virgin.........................2609.65...25........0
Council tax 1..................382.57....10........0
council tax 2..................211.88....0.........0
rent...........................1200......0.........0
hb overpayment.................364.6.....0.........0
non domestic 2.................1337.4....10........0
non domestic 1.................785.45....10........0
Total unsecured debts..........8921.15...60.09.....-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,765.35
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,996.4
Available for debt repayments........... -231.05
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 60.09
Amount short for making debt repayments. -291.14
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 92,400
Total HP & Secured debt................. -65,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -8,921.15
Net Assets.............................. 18,478.85
Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using IE browser.

I don't actually know what the gas and elec cost as we haven't had a bill yet. We only buy wood if we have the money for it, the debts that don't have an amount next to it are the ones I haven't sorted out an agreement for yet.
My house is rented out which is what the £400 extra a month is, I haven't put a proper amount for OH, he's only been doing 2 days a week, he has a few more on this week but it's not gaurenteed.
I'm not totally sure what my monthly shopping costs, I usally spend amount £70 doing a buying in of tinned stuff then pick up any meat or veg throughout the month. I'm going to be bulk buying from a wholesaler with my mum and gran when I have some money together for tinned things and non perishables.
I have just changed my phone contract which will mean that it will come down from next month to £20, I don't think I can get OHs down anymore, we also have to phone lots of 08 numbers which push up the phone bills as we don't have a landline, we have a dongle but won't be topping it up once it goes

Lexxi

Can anyone help?