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Sad story in our local paper today

Unfortunately I read yesterday of a man near us committing suicide as he could not cope with over £100,000 worth of credit card debt.
Apparently he had started to try and deal with the debt by contacting CAB but had found it all too much. He was 72 and had a wife and 2 children. It doesnt say whether his wife or family knew about the debt.

I know we all get very down about our debts so please newbies before it gets too bad contact one of the non fee paying agencies and get help.
It is much easier to nip things in the bud early rather than spend years putting your head in the sand and then not being able to cope
at all.

On a cheerier note it is a lovely day weather wise here and Mint have stopped charging interest on my DMP!!

Comments

  • its so heartbreaking to hear stories like this. In the end its the ppl in our lives that matter, money & things are just mirages, so sad.
    DF as at 30/12/16
    Wombling 2025: £87.12
    NSD March: YTD: 35
    Grocery spend challenge March £253.38/£285 £20/£70 Eating out
    GC annual £449.80/£4500
    Eating out budget: £55/£420
    Extra cash earned 2025: £195
  • Its always bad to hear of suicides but even more so when its over money as it really is just money and there are many things that can be done. Media dont help by making debt a shamefull thing.
    :(
  • Hopefully this forum will give people a bit more hope so they can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just to refer to another post about trolls further up the forum topics......try be nice everyone, we're all in the same boat whether it was our own stupid fault or not, try to grin and bear it together :0)
  • Hannah_10
    Hannah_10 Posts: 1,774 Forumite
    Have had personal experience of the aftermath of a financial suicide. It is devastating in far wider circles than the dead lad will ever realise. I never actually met the lad, have had to sit through the night with a grown man in my arms crying his heart out like a baby with colic though, break up fights at the wake, be there for evening on evening to listen. The ripples from a suicide extend out far further than just everyone you know, and they keep on extending. Suicide is not the end of the problem, it is the beginning of a problem whose impact, instead of being contained, runs rampant and devastating over a huge area, like some sort of nuclear fallout, for the rest of the people who loved that persons lives.

    The worst that can ever happen as a result of debt, is bankruptcy. That's it. And in a nutshell what bankruptcy will mean to someone in dire straits financialy is starting over again, with fewer "things". Those people I know who have been bankrupt have nothing but gladness they did it, it relieved them of the sense of pressure. It's not the owing money that's the problem, it's the panicking about how to pay it. If your life really is so financially unballanced that you feel you can't live it anymore then take that drastic step and don't live it anymore. Start again, in a new life, with a scruffy little car and a rented house but with nights you can actually sleep through and days you can actually enjoy. Cut up your cards, throw away the mortgage, stop the debt collectors calling... It's not a fantasy, it is a legitimate alternative to death and it's there for the taking, you would be doing everyone who ever cared about you a huge favour, not by vanishing off the planet, but by finding a way to live on it. Even if that means the worst case scenario- start again in a smaller life.

    People who care you only want you to be happy and your personality to shine through and all the while you let a money problem eat you then you can't be that. They don't really need you to be rich, or generous, or stylish... But they need you to be yourself, because yourself is who they love. No one (no matter how accutely they feel like it) has no one at all to care about them.

    There is not a debt problem that can not be solved. One way or another. There are multitudes of solutions, from low impact ones like snowballing, to the last resort of bankruptcy. They all allow you to have a life again. Nothing is worth a suicide.
    I refuse to be afraid of the big bad wolf, spiders, or debt collection agencies; one of them's not real and the other two are powerless without my fear.
    (Ok, one of them is powerless, spiders can be nasty.)


    As of the last count I have cleared
    [STRIKE]23.16%[/STRIKE] 22.49% of my debt. :(
  • DGJsaver
    DGJsaver Posts: 2,777 Forumite
    Great post Hannah
  • Hannah_10 wrote: »
    Have had personal experience of the aftermath of a financial suicide. It is devastating in far wider circles than the dead lad will ever realise. I never actually met the lad, have had to sit through the night with a grown man in my arms crying his heart out like a baby with colic though, break up fights at the wake, be there for evening on evening to listen. The ripples from a suicide extend out far further than just everyone you know, and they keep on extending. Suicide is not the end of the problem, it is the beginning of a problem whose impact, instead of being contained, runs rampant and devastating over a huge area, like some sort of nuclear fallout, for the rest of the people who loved that persons lives.

    The worst that can ever happen as a result of debt, is bankruptcy. That's it. And in a nutshell what bankruptcy will mean to someone in dire straits financialy is starting over again, with fewer "things". Those people I know who have been bankrupt have nothing but gladness they did it, it relieved them of the sense of pressure. It's not the owing money that's the problem, it's the panicking about how to pay it. If your life really is so financially unballanced that you feel you can't live it anymore then take that drastic step and don't live it anymore. Start again, in a new life, with a scruffy little car and a rented house but with nights you can actually sleep through and days you can actually enjoy. Cut up your cards, throw away the mortgage, stop the debt collectors calling... It's not a fantasy, it is a legitimate alternative to death and it's there for the taking, you would be doing everyone who ever cared about you a huge favour, not by vanishing off the planet, but by finding a way to live on it. Even if that means the worst case scenario- start again in a smaller life.

    People who care you only want you to be happy and your personality to shine through and all the while you let a money problem eat you then you can't be that. They don't really need you to be rich, or generous, or stylish... But they need you to be yourself, because yourself is who they love. No one (no matter how accutely they feel like it) has no one at all to care about them.

    There is not a debt problem that can not be solved. One way or another. There are multitudes of solutions, from low impact ones like snowballing, to the last resort of bankruptcy. They all allow you to have a life again. Nothing is worth a suicide.

    That's a really thoughtful & moving response Hannah. it got me thinking to a couple of years ago when an old friend of my best friend died. They hadn't had any contact for years & bumped into each other shortly before she committed suicide. My friend was devastated by this, that she didn't reach out to her at that time. I never thought about the impact that had on me until just now
    DF as at 30/12/16
    Wombling 2025: £87.12
    NSD March: YTD: 35
    Grocery spend challenge March £253.38/£285 £20/£70 Eating out
    GC annual £449.80/£4500
    Eating out budget: £55/£420
    Extra cash earned 2025: £195
  • chuckley
    chuckley Posts: 4,405 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture
    yea man i had an epiphany the ova day. i was like 'its only money'. there is NO POINT in stressing urself out over it, becoming ill and losing ur mental state. its really not worth it.

    i think its terrible that people end up in states like this over debt. :(
  • Hannah, you really do write very well and get your point over. I found your post very moving. In the early days of our debt problems I have to admit that I did fleetingly think of ending it all but I now see that money really isn't worth a life! I am still deep in debt but feel so relieved that I am trying to find a way out and as you say there is always something that can be done:T
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