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RSVP format - evening only?

sazzyb
Posts: 229 Forumite
Need some advice...have looked at other similar posts but they don't seem to match my situation enough to help so hope I'm not duplicating.
We're having very small ceremony/wedding breakfast...just 12 of us (us, parents, grandparents, siblings etc) and inviting rest of family and friends to evening celebration party. We don't want those people thinking we're only inviting them to receive gifts etc because we're not! We're specifying on invites that we dont expect gifts of any kind, but we do wanna make the evening part bit more special with toasts, speeches, cake-cutting, favour-type gifts etc so I'm wanting the evening invites to seem as special as normal wedding invites.
So to get to the point of my post (sorry I'm a babbler!) what form should the RSVPs take? I've been set on RSVP inserts to now so people have an RSVP card in invite to send back and was planning on putting in stamped addressed return envelope but now thinking that too formal (and pricey in terms of postage) and toying with idea of just putting our address, email and phone numbers so people can choose how to reply. I know ultimately it's up to us and we know our guests best but unsure what might be best. Any advice appreciated...TIA.
We're having very small ceremony/wedding breakfast...just 12 of us (us, parents, grandparents, siblings etc) and inviting rest of family and friends to evening celebration party. We don't want those people thinking we're only inviting them to receive gifts etc because we're not! We're specifying on invites that we dont expect gifts of any kind, but we do wanna make the evening part bit more special with toasts, speeches, cake-cutting, favour-type gifts etc so I'm wanting the evening invites to seem as special as normal wedding invites.
So to get to the point of my post (sorry I'm a babbler!) what form should the RSVPs take? I've been set on RSVP inserts to now so people have an RSVP card in invite to send back and was planning on putting in stamped addressed return envelope but now thinking that too formal (and pricey in terms of postage) and toying with idea of just putting our address, email and phone numbers so people can choose how to reply. I know ultimately it's up to us and we know our guests best but unsure what might be best. Any advice appreciated...TIA.
MARRIED MR E - 22nd Dec 2010 - technically now sazzye!:j
AIMS FOR 2012: LOSE WEIGHT/GET FIT! PREPARE FOR BABY-TRYING! OVERPAY MORTGAGE BEFORE MOVING HOUSE, DO UP HOUSE TO MOVE, SAVE SAVE SAVE - SOLICITORS FEES, STAMP DUTY ETC ETC. :eek:HELP HELP HELP!:eek:
AIMS FOR 2012: LOSE WEIGHT/GET FIT! PREPARE FOR BABY-TRYING! OVERPAY MORTGAGE BEFORE MOVING HOUSE, DO UP HOUSE TO MOVE, SAVE SAVE SAVE - SOLICITORS FEES, STAMP DUTY ETC ETC. :eek:HELP HELP HELP!:eek:
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I sent my invites out the first week in august with an rsvp deadline of october 9 (the wedding is beginning of december)
I sent them out just with our address in the hope that people would choose their own acceptance cards and i would have some to keep. I also gave an email address in case people found that easier.
Up to now I have had 2 cards and 1 email out of 25 invitations. I was hoping to get responses quickly so if anyone declined we could invite someone else.
I am not sure if we had included stamped rsvp cards that we would have had more replies by now or if because I gave 2 months to respond people will leave it till the last minute!0 -
Modern convention states an address and an email is acceptable to offer up RSVP opportunities.
Recent comments show if you write to a guest 1 in 10 will write back, if you email 1 in 4 will reply.
20-40s will eamil 40+ generally will write.
on the day 3 in 4 turn up who did not reply. The point was felt that it is not just the activity of replying but often people do not know if they will attend or not so hold off replying.
I found a list of guest can be ticked of by you chasing, oh the honour of cajoling people to your event you are paying for!Marry a Foreigner, its so much cheaper!0 -
Thanks guys.
I know I hosted party before for parents anniversary and we offered address, email & phone and majority telephoned to accept/decline but was unsure if telephone/email reply methods were socially acceptable for wedding invite.
I feel kinda torn since our wedding is pretty informal yet I'm looking to make evening bit more special and we've probably got 70/30 split between under 40s and over 40s.
I find the idea of chasing people kind of scary cos it's like badgering them for a reply!! I'm also unsure when to send/ask for replies for same reason as you're finding binky - do you give lots of notice and ask for RSVP nearer time or give less time to respond by sending later. Who'd have thought there were so many confusing options???!!! :undecidedMARRIED MR E - 22nd Dec 2010 - technically now sazzye!:j
AIMS FOR 2012: LOSE WEIGHT/GET FIT! PREPARE FOR BABY-TRYING! OVERPAY MORTGAGE BEFORE MOVING HOUSE, DO UP HOUSE TO MOVE, SAVE SAVE SAVE - SOLICITORS FEES, STAMP DUTY ETC ETC. :eek:HELP HELP HELP!:eek:0 -
I know i didn't realise it was going to be so hard to judge! we are having additional evening guests but I am having to hold off sending them until we have some more day invite replies as I don't want to invite people to the evening and then 'upgrade' them to day guests later i'd rather they thought they were not a second choice iyswim!
I have since found out we have a lot more rooms booked than have responded so far so maybe some think that booking a room for the evening constitutes an acceptance?!0 -
i sent rsvp cards to my evening guests as well as my day guests although not everyone replied!0
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Ok, I think i'm going for a more simple RSVP part of my invite that just says "The courtesy of a reply is requested by ...date" with address, telephone number and email addy underneath. That way I don't feel guilty for not including stamped reply envelope and hopefully we'll generate more responses. I hope that's sufficient etiquette for an informal but special evening reception!!! I'm sure there will be certain ppl we know who turn their noses up but then they'll be the same ppl who are insulted by just an evening invite so it's up to them whether they want to come or not...never able to please everyone eh!!
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[/FONT]MARRIED MR E - 22nd Dec 2010 - technically now sazzye!:j
AIMS FOR 2012: LOSE WEIGHT/GET FIT! PREPARE FOR BABY-TRYING! OVERPAY MORTGAGE BEFORE MOVING HOUSE, DO UP HOUSE TO MOVE, SAVE SAVE SAVE - SOLICITORS FEES, STAMP DUTY ETC ETC. :eek:HELP HELP HELP!:eek:0 -
i would def send out inserts brill idea and most people will send them back apart from the odd few who lose it lol
we considered putting a wee thing about its your presence we look for and not your presents!
also i would put a bit on bottom saying we would like to invite guest to make speech/toast if you wish too do so please indicate
also another thing regarding music is ask if there are any requests or dedications they want played on night
if having a dj at receptioon then have card and pencil on table and people can make requests throughout night:A VK :A0 -
We've put little rhyme bout it's your presence not your presents we require...another really difficult decision...couldn't decide if rhyme was too tacky so deliberated over it for ages but went with it in end, again if guests think it's cheesy, tough, cos i liked it, lol!! Hadn't thought about music requests so thanks. They're pretty much good to print now and got all the bits so commence the mass production line!MARRIED MR E - 22nd Dec 2010 - technically now sazzye!:j
AIMS FOR 2012: LOSE WEIGHT/GET FIT! PREPARE FOR BABY-TRYING! OVERPAY MORTGAGE BEFORE MOVING HOUSE, DO UP HOUSE TO MOVE, SAVE SAVE SAVE - SOLICITORS FEES, STAMP DUTY ETC ETC. :eek:HELP HELP HELP!:eek:0 -
sazzyb would you be willing to share the rhyme you did please? That's what I want to do as many of our guests are going to have to travel a long distance but I don't know where to start!!!No longer ...tobe! Married 20/06/13MFW 2021 #117 £5415.40/£6000MFW 2022 #77 £3740/£3000MFW 2023 #82 £0/£30000
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Of course!! Not even sure if it makes sense but hey ho!!It’s your presence, not your presents,We request this special night.Our house is full of treasuresNo further space in sight.If you feel you’d really like toGive some kind of wedding gift,The funds would be more usefulFor our honeymoon of thrift.But please don’t feel you have to,We simply want you there,To celebrate, this special night,The love we have declared.MARRIED MR E - 22nd Dec 2010 - technically now sazzye!:j
AIMS FOR 2012: LOSE WEIGHT/GET FIT! PREPARE FOR BABY-TRYING! OVERPAY MORTGAGE BEFORE MOVING HOUSE, DO UP HOUSE TO MOVE, SAVE SAVE SAVE - SOLICITORS FEES, STAMP DUTY ETC ETC. :eek:HELP HELP HELP!:eek:0
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