Help!!!

TRIX1

Hi, i have been with my partner for 8 years , we have 2 small children 5 and 2 yrs old, we have for the past 3 years not really been getting on and now it seems to have come to a head .
We have a mortgage on a house which when sold will be a 50/50 split.
He works full time and earns £25,000 a year i work part time on a self employed basis earning £6,400 a year.
When the house is sold he keeps bragging how the children will have everything when they visit Daddy as he can afford a mortagage with a hefty deposit, while i will be dwindling myn away on renting.
We stand to come out with about £50,000 each.
It doesnt seem atall fair and i feel very angry and frustrated,
I dont earn enough to be able to get a mortgage and will not qualify for benefits with that amount of money, what can i do so as i can provide a stable permanent home for my children instead of throwing it all away on renting?
I know it seems like i want my cake and eat it but i would love to be like him and get a mortgage too, its just not fair.
I like the idea of part rent part buy but dony qualify till the house is sold but would i still be able to support a mortgage on this kind of house and how far at the bottom of the list would i be with this kind of deposit?
Also he is still living in the house but is always going out etc, i was told i could claim single parent Child Tax Credit, he is in the spare room with all of his stuff etc, but would they come and check? I dont want him to know i have extra money for the kids.
Any advice would be grateful, i keep saying im not scared i can do this alone with my children but if the truth be known i am worried sick about being able to provide for them on my own and especially provide a permanent home where the landlord six months down the line says we have to move out!

dmg24

Could you not start applying for full time work? You could claim Tax Credits to help with childcare.

Jowo_2

Go and see a solicitor to understand your rights and his obligations. Sometimes court action can be taken where the judgement means the parent with children get to stay in the family home until the youngest child reaches adulthood but I don't know anything about the law, whether this applies just to marriages or just where there is a contribution by both parties or the property held in joint names.

This is why you need an expert to advise you, including the child support you can expect.

The Shelter website has a section on relationship breakdown which provides a basic overview according to housing status.

EDIT - alternatively,tell him that you expect him to be the parent with children because you plan to focus on your business career which means he will have to give up work to look after them. Trade places.

TRIX1

Yes i have spoken to Community family law and they have explained all of my rights, i canot get a court order for him to move out and sell the house when the youngest child reaches 18 as i cannot support the mortgage here on my own, that is a stipulation that i would have to pay the mortgage and all of the bills which i would expect but its not a possibility, when you say childcare does nursery include this or Pre School even? as my youngest is due to start in January.
He wont move out atall unless the house is sold, its getting nasty with the comments he makes and i cant help it sometimes and bite back.
With the ctc would he have to sign forms also to say we are separated?

And trade places.....you must be joking!!! We have said that in our talks and he is all up for it but to get him to actually do it would be a miracle.

Also we need to re home the family dog as he doesnt want her a 1 year old Border Collie. My problem is most rented places are no pets.

Jowo_2

Okay, thanks for filling me in. I wasn't aware that court orders are only granted to the parent with children if they can show they can pay the mortgage, I expected the non resident parent to continue to pay towards it rather than the remaining one demonstrate they have enough income to do this.

Is there anyway you can get a permanent job that would cover the mortgage payments to comply with this condition, either instead of or in additional to your self employment, rather than continue in low paid work?

Off the top of my head, so do verify this first, I thought that a working parent without the children resident with them, is expected under the CSA formula to pay around 20% of their net income to the parent looking after 2 children. Does this sum (which I've calculated to be approx £300 per month) get excluded from the affordability calculation? And would this not make much of a dent towards the mortgage payments?

Post your questions on Shared Ownership on the house buying board as there will be more members there who will be able to respond about that specific query.

What is the supply and demand like for social housing in your area and how do you feel about applying for a social housing tenancy? In some areas, there's virtually no turnover and huge demand and it's generally only allocated to those in extreme housing need, in other places there is less of a waiting list and it doesn't just get allocated to those that in priority housing need. Have you thought about applying to local housing associations or the council or is it fairly fruitless? Is the property you own in joint names? Owner occupiers have pretty next to zero chance of securing social housing but an occupier or former owner who has to move out will have a greater chance.

Jowo_2

TRIX1 wrote: »

...

And trade places.....you must be joking!!! We have said that in our talks and he is all up for it but to get him to actually do it would be a miracle....

Nothing like a deadline to clarify the mind. Tell him you've booked a solicitors appointment to discuss the physical custody of the children to formalise his care of them when the property is sold, plus establish good access and visits by them to you....

That'll stop the easy rhetoric, including vague promises to take financial care of the children as he is setting in train the sale of the property that makes their home insecure...

miss_sami

Total Household Income for 1 whole year

Wages - £6400
Child Maintenance - £5000 (20% of £25000)
Child Benefit - £1752.40 (£20.30 plus £13.40 a week)
Child Tax Credits - £5015.42
Working Tax Credits - £3711.84
Childcare element of working tax credits - ??? (usually upto 80% of childcare costs)

Total Annual Income - £21879.66
Monthly Income - £1823.31

Would you not be ok to retain the house and fulfil the mortgage on a household income of that?

Please bear in mind I am only an interested party not anyone official and the above workings are an estimate only, you’d have to claim to see your full entitlement. My ex left me and my baby when he was 3 months old so I know how it feels to wonder if you can survive and provide a quality environment for your children with your finances. At the end of the day though, they’ll love and adore you no matter what so seek some comfort in that. Plus it’s one less person to buy for, cook for, wash for and iron for… that’s your silver lining!

(Note: to do this assessment I estimated your weekly hours to be 20, I think it’s over 16 hours which entitles you to the WTC. I also took the data from ‘Do I Qualify?’ (goverment tax credits website but i can't link it because i'm a new user sorry, so google it) which shows entitlement till April 2011 and converted it to a whole year amount to give an idea of monthly income, for the mortgage/bills/etc.)

Feel free to pm me for any help/advise or shoulder to lean on

Jowo_2

The OP could visit Citizens Advice so they can do a benefits assessment or input your details into the Entitled To (turn2us) website and model some of the scenarios you've described. Perhaps the CSA sum can't be factored in - many single parents can't get money out of their ex partners to support the children and I get the impression that it's hard to enforce.

There is a budget planner on the Tools section of this website which is good for modelling income and expenses and might make you feel a bit more on top of your finances.

Duncombe

Would the fact the OP will have £50,000 sat in a bank account decrease any of the benefits she would potentially be entitled to? Like WTC and CTC?

I'm only asking as I dont know and would like to.

dmg24

Duncombe wrote: »

Would the fact the OP will have £50,000 sat in a bank account decrease any of the benefits she would potentially be entitled to? Like WTC and CTC?

I'm only asking as I dont know and would like to.

Any interest over £300 would need to be declared as income.

Duncombe

dmg24 wrote: »

Any interest over £300 would need to be declared as income.

So its only interest on savings that is counted for benefit purposes?

That seems ridiculous.