would have been mortgage free at the end of this month.. until...

ho_hum_3

I have been trying to pay the mortgage off early - last payment was due to be this month, so I was really looking forward to being mortgage free and thought life was going to get a little easier - till partner announced he is leaving and wants me to sell the house and give him 50% of the proceeds - or alternatively, to buy him out, as I would like to stay here.

I am gutted, to say the least - I was diagnosed with a chronic health condition five years ago, and my income has reduced since then, so it is not going to be easy. My main motivation for getting it all paid was so that I would have a bit of security that I had a roof over my head no matter what happened to me healthwise or how that impacted on my earning potential (it is an unpredictable condition, but statistically, there is about an 80% chance of developing serious disabilities)

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you cope?

Mrs.T20

I am so sorry to read about your situation. I am not in a position to offer advice but I hope that things work out for you.

ho_hum_3

Thankyou - I have paid the majority of the money into it, but I believe as it is in joint names he can take half, regardless of who paid what, and regardless of other considerations, and I am really back at square one, except with a much reduced income and an uncertain future. It's not been easy getting this far, and I really thought I had built up a little bit of security for my future and would have one less worry in life.

cha97michelle

I believe that you are right saying that he is entitled to half unless you can prove you paid because you had an inheritance or something like that. Might be worth sorting out a meeting with a solicitor, and on the brightside, at least house prices are not what they were so you owe him less.

Sorry you are in this position. You've done it once, i am sure you will survive this and be ok. You seem level headed.

Have you done stuff like told the council you are the only adult to get money off your council tax?

dimbo61

Were you married or just living together?
Did you own the property before you met him ?
Has he got a good job with a pension ?
Go and see a good solictor for professional advice and good luck
There is life after the break up of a long term relationship!

ho_hum_3

living together, no, I didnt own the property first, yes he can take half as per the rules for cohabitees. I am sick with worry at the moment, I do not know how long I will be able to work for, and my income is already less than half of what it was. I would have been better off if I had had a bit of a life and some disposable income for the last few years, rather than working and saving so hard and denying myself all the small pleasures of life. Looks like I am going to have many years of trying to pay him off ahead of me.

It all feels very bleak at the moment - I am level headed, and I am a grafter, but I have tied to hard, and thought I was getting there only to have the rug snatched from under my feet - so much of this is beyond my control.

firesidemaid

definitely go and see a solicitor - either through cab or try community law online (i think there is also a similar womens law online too).

nothing is clear cut - this happened to a friend of mine also. you need to try and look at what you have both paid into the mortgage/bill pot etc, especially if you have been making overpayments.

if you had a big mortgage and he walked away and didnt pay anything - you would be left responsible. so equally, if you cannot afford to give him your 'share' there are ways of managing this.

legal help will help you negotiate what he really is entitled to after working out who has paid what. you can negotiate this figure (remember if you had to sell there would be fees to take off this amount). also, if your income is low and you can only get/afford a certain size mortgage etc, then this is what he will have to accept.

there are NO hard and set rules x

Jonbvn

ho_hum wrote: »

I would have been better off if I had had a bit of a life and some disposable income for the last few years, rather than working and saving so hard and denying myself all the small pleasures of life.

I think this is a salutory lesson. It can sometimes prove unwise to be single minded in pursuit of your goals.

ho_hum_3

Jonbvn wrote: »

I think this is a salutory lesson. It can sometimes prove unwise to be single minded in pursuit of your goals.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing - but when I was diagnosed, and was facing a very incertain and insecure future, I just felt that if I could pay for the roof over my head I would always have some degree of security and independance - and, as obviously, it cannot be predicted how long I will be able to work for, it seemed to be wise to prioritise achieving that as soon as possible.

Now, I realise I would be better off if the majority of the mortgage was still to be paid, and I could have had a bit of a life in the last few years.

Lara44

Ho Hum - ((huge hugs)) I am so sorry to hear that, you must be feeling very upset.

Definitely get legal advice if you have been overpaying - it may not be clear cut who gets what if you have paid much more into the mortgage than your partner.

What about downsizing - is this possible? Perhaps you could use your equity to buy a smaller, cheaper place therefore only having to take on a smaller mortgage? You are probably very attached to your current house, but perhaps a clean break and new start could be a good part of the splitting process.

ho_hum_3

Thanks Lara - no, the house I am in is at the bottom of the ladder, price wise... if I cant afford to live here, I cant afford to live anywhere. It also needs a new roof and a new bathroom, both things I was aiming on working towards achieving next.

I am devastated really - I thought I would do ok in life, I put myself through university twice and worked hard and had ambitions, then I made a lot of re-adjustments to my life and my aspirations when I was diagnosed, to try and find a way to get on, I thought I was doing ok, then this happens, and I find myself right back at square one, without a decent career, income, relationship... and having to re-buy my home.