In the Greens DFW diary

inthegreen

I thought I would follow the trend and start up a diary, if nothing else it will be something to look back on to remind me where I came from.

I can't believe how life has changed since the start of the month.

I had an awful day when I had to ring my mother and tell her how much debt I was in. I have never heard her sound disappointed even though she told me she still loved me at the end:A

To date I have achieved the following:-

a - applied for all my statements from HSBC to try and claim any charges back
b - listed 40 books on Green MetropolisRang my credit card companies and asked them to reduce the apr - no luck but was brave enough to try
c - applied and succeeded (got letter yesterday) in applying for a barclaycard where I can transfer upto £5000 at 4.9% for the life of the balance:T
d - made £240 on e-bay
e - taken in lunch every day
f - done a monthly budget
g - slept better at night!!
h - stopped buying a magazine for £2.10 a week
i - applying for an A+L account not only getting cash back but a much better rate on overdrafts and credits
j - signed up for quidco, pigsback and mystery shopping sites

I spent £2.50 today in Starbucks and felt so guilty I felt sick even though it's the only thing I have spent so far this week apart from work expenses that I can claim back.

I am really looking forward to being debt free, it's making me excited. Now I just have to persuade my husband that he needs to total his debt up and work out how to pay it off best!!

Good luck to all the other DFW out there

I

Snaggles

Hello!

Wow, you were brave, confessing all to your Mum. I'm sure she was disappointed, but think how proud she will be when she sees you making good progress towards paying it all off. I'm glad she told you she still loves you - it would take more than that for a Mother to stop loving their child, but at least it put your mind at rest a bit.

You have made such good progress already - have you put together your SOA so we can see if there are any savings to be made? The odd few quid here and there can make a huge difference to your debt free date.

Good luck with it all, I'll be interested to see your progress over the coming months.

Love Snaggles xx

benbenandme

Well done on admitting the situation to your Mum ... that is a huge step to take and shows you are serious about dealing with the problem. I wish you lots of luck

lynsayjane

i know the feeling of telling your mum, i had to tell my folks too, mainly cause i was due them £300 between them and couldn't afford it, but as with you they were both sympathetic and thought no worse of me. debt does not make you a bad person, it's not like you killed someone!

good luck with clearing it all, it appears your making a good start on it. stick with the diary, even if your the only one that reads it, it's good to look over what you've achieved, especially if you hit a bad patch which, lets face it, we all do at some point.

i shall be keeping my beady little eyes on you!

inthegreen

Hit a bit of a low this morning, Hubby rang and said he didn't have enough petrol to get into work and no money to pay. Because we are close to payday I didn't have any spare to pay for him. I think he thinks I am purposely witholding money. I am really trying to stick to a budget but I had to pay for petrol for him on Monday and he promised me that he would sort it out so he could get by till payday. The worse thing is he has an interview today which would pay more money.

I cannot get him to admit how much he owes or at what rate. I have shown him my listing of debt, rates, new budget but it has not encouraged him to do the same. I have also realised that I have been bailing him out to the tune of £30-£50 a month (i suspect sometimes more).

I have told him next month he is giving me his petrol money in cash on payday and I'll give it to him on Monday mornings so he can fill up on the way to work.

Besides that it's a lovely day, things can only get better, my colleagues finally bought her first property and is very excited:T and I will be debt free eventually!

lynsayjane

it's hard when you have an oh inolved. i have to admit to being glad to be a single dfw'er. if he hasn't had his lightbulb momet i imagine it's going to get frustrating when he keeps spending and your trying not to. perhaps try writing down all your feelings abotu being in debt and his not helping support you (not in a financial way understand). also include all the things you want to do but can't because of the debt, holidays, kids that kinda thing. it may not bring on his lightbulb moment but it may help him understand where you are coming from at the moment. it's hard to talk face to face of these things, they are very emotive subjects, but a letter can explain things better than an arguement.

keep your chin up darling. x

ZTD

inthegreen wrote:

Hit a bit of a low this morning, Hubby rang and said he didn't have enough petrol to get into work and no money to pay. Because we are close to payday I didn't have any spare to pay for him. I think he thinks I am purposely witholding money. I am really trying to stick to a budget but I had to pay for petrol for him on Monday and he promised me that he would sort it out so he could get by till payday. The worse thing is he has an interview today which would pay more money.

Just imagine if he looked like this

and you had to rub his face in it to get him to use his litter tray.

Be strong, he's got to learn or you will be clearing up his messes forever.

inthegreen

Thanks for your lovely post. I sat him down at the weekend and explained that I do want kids (well 1 but thats besides the point) and I hate having to worry about money. He said thats he's nearly too old for kids anyway (31!!!!!) So we are at loggerheads about that too (I won't start trying till I clear my debt (mortgage not included) but by that point (2009 hopefully) he said he'll be too old and he says he'll never clear his debt.

Also he seems to blame me for him not having money and thus he is not talking to me today apart from an e-mail telling me not to forward cr*p jokes as they aren't funny!!!

I am sure we all have down days. It doesn't help that I have no friends in this area and they all lives hours away. tomorrow will be better I am sure.

lynsayjane

inthegreen wrote:

I am sure we all have down days. It doesn't help that I have no friends in this area and they all lives hours away. tomorrow will be better I am sure.

you have us, and random internet friends are worth ten thousand in 'your area'.:D


edit, erm just realised that could sound like i'm slagging your area, i'm not, i don't even know where it is!

ZTD

inthegreen wrote:

Thanks for your lovely post. I sat him down at the weekend and explained that I do want kids (well 1 but thats besides the point) and I hate having to worry about money. He said thats he's nearly too old for kids anyway (31!!!!!)

You'll have to excuse me. I need to go to hospital and get my bottom looked at. The laughing has loosened it.

He's a man. He can have kids any time. I would also guess from your story that he won't be the one looking after the child anyway.

In terms of excuses, it does have to be the most feeble one I've ever heard.

inthegreen wrote:

So we are at loggerheads about that too (I won't start trying till I clear my debt (mortgage not included) but by that point (2009 hopefully) he said he'll be too old

He'll be 34, I hope you've already bought him a cardigan, pipe and slippers.

inthegreen wrote:

and he says he'll never clear his debt.

Because he doesn't want to, not because he can't.

inthegreen wrote:

Also he seems to blame me for him not having money and thus he is not talking to me today apart from an e-mail telling me not to forward cr*p jokes as they aren't funny!!!

He seems a touch on the childish side.

inthegreen wrote:

I am sure we all have down days. It doesn't help that I have no friends in this area and they all lives hours away. tomorrow will be better I am sure.

I know you probably don't want to hear this, but use the time to weight and consider what he's said about everything so far and decide if he is the right one for you.

inthegreen

ZTD You are absolutely right, I know it's the truth and if it was one of my friends I would be saying the same as you.

I often think he says things for dramatic effect, don't even get me started on his hatred of maternity leave:mad: He also thinks that having a child would stop us spending irresponsibly, don't say it I laughed at how stupid that sounded too:rotfl:

I am starting to think very carefully as if we are not headed in the same direction I am young enough to start again and maybe if I am lucky have children

lynsayjane, I took no offence, I live in the middle of the country in suffolk about 45 mins from my head office. Once I am debt free I would like to start climbing again which is how I made friends when I had to move to Basingstoke to do my training.

You are all lovely, off to complete the opening of my new A+L account now:T