Serious DEBT no way to turn

savingsp

I've come to the end of the line, and i dont know what to do. Its causing me severe depression to the degree i could lose my job for the amount of time off. Heres my situation.

I am a married mum of two children (7 & 9). We are so much in debt we live day by day on our credit cards. We own our own house and have some equity in the property. The income that me and my husband earn together is £1300 a month. Our out goings (not including food and petrol) are £1220 leaving £80 for petrol and food for 4 of us for 4 weeks. Now you can see the reason we are living on credit on a daily basis. we owe £8500 (estimate) to credit card companys (we cant afford the mimimums on these). We also have two loans totalling £18,000 which we pay each month. Evertime i try and talk about the monet situation with my other half he tells me hes sick of hearing it. I feel all the pressure is on me and i cant take it. I dont know what to do for the best. Any advice would be good.

I feel sorry for the kids because we cant go any where or do anthing and because of my depression the situation is making it worse, i feel like a faliure and hate myself.

WhoThrewThat

Hi
I am sorry to hear your situation and although I cant profess to be an expert in these matters there are some things you can do to help you feel better.

Firstly you need to contact one of the debt charties and explain your situation. You should do this today as you may find you have more options than you think. I have been using the national debtline. Im a new user so not allowed to put links on here but google it and you will find them. They WILL help you.

Please don't let this situation ruin your life try to take a step back and look at this with a level head and put it into perspective. This type of thing is very stressfull I know(currently going through bankruptcy) but you have to try not to let it take your health.

The only other advice I can offer is to stick with this forum. There is a world of knowladge here and great support from people who are or have been in your situation.

Oh and if I may be so bold...... give your OH a kick up the pants you're in this together.

Hope that wasn't out of turn

WTT

savingsp

Thanks for the advice. Gonna ring the national debt helpline in a minute, the problem i have is seeing the way out of this mess. I'm really sruggling with my depression its affecting my day to day life, i do have councilling but that dont help. I feel like a hermit in my own home. Will see what they say and report back.

thedeans

you really need to speak to citizens advice - they can and will help you and will work out real amounts that you can pay to those you owe money to - and the companies have to accept the amount offered by citizens advice

Also credit cards are NOT a priority debt - personally I would stop paying them as much (just make a token payment to show willing) and feed your family - let CAB tell them what you can pay - also when they are contacted by CAB they freeze the interest on your accounts so the debts don't increase

Are your loans secured?? - If not then again they are not priority debts - CAB can contact these too and make offers on your behalf

DO NOT consolidate your credit cards - I've learnt that the hard way - let the professionals help you - it really does help

Angiepange

savingsp wrote: »

I've come to the end of the line, and i dont know what to do. Its causing me severe depression to the degree i could lose my job for the amount of time off. Heres my situation.

I am a married mum of two children (7 & 9). We are so much in debt we live day by day on our credit cards. We own our own house and have some equity in the property. The income that me and my husband earn together is £1300 a month. Our out goings (not including food and petrol) are £1220 leaving £80 for petrol and food for 4 of us for 4 weeks. Now you can see the reason we are living on credit on a daily basis. we owe £8500 (estimate) to credit card companys (we cant afford the mimimums on these). We also have two loans totalling £18,000 which we pay each month. Evertime i try and talk about the monet situation with my other half he tells me hes sick of hearing it. I feel all the pressure is on me and i cant take it. I dont know what to do for the best. Any advice would be good.

I feel sorry for the kids because we cant go any where or do anthing and because of my depression the situation is making it worse, i feel like a faliure and hate myself.

Hi there

I cant really add to the excellent advice you have been given above but would also would urge you to contact the advice agencies for help. I would personally recommend the CAB, do you have a local office you can arrange an appointment with? They will see you face to face and as thedeans has said will negotiate with your creditors on your behalf.

As for your depression hun, I understand how awful it makes you feel. But you are not a failure, you are just trying to cope in very difficult circumstances and when you get that low you cant see a way out. But there will be a solution and you will be able to come to some arrangement over the debts, thats what the professional are for, you just need to hang in there. Maybe go back to your Doctors for another chat, if the counselling is not working the Doctor might be able to suggest other solutions for you.

And keep posting on here, there are many of us that know exactly how it feels to go through whats happening to you at the moment. You are not alone hun xxxx

Angie x

dancingfairy

Hi savingsp - not being able to pay your debts is not a crime (the credit card companies and debt collectors will have you believe different but don't listen to them). So many thousands of people are in debt - the banks didn't hesitate to offer it to people did they? It is far too easy to get in a pickle with debt.
The most important things are paying the mortgage, council tax, gas/electric, FOOD, clothes and any secured loans - everyone else will have to wait (they won't like it but tough) - they just can't have what you haven't got.
It is hard but you will get through it -with the help of people on here, your councillor, your family, and help from one of the debt charities.
There are many options available to you from a dmp (debt management plan), IVA, Bankruptcy etc etc - you just need to find the right one and the debt charities will help you see the wood for the trees.
df

mrs1978

Hi, just wanted to add with regards to the kids, I totally empathise with u specially being school holidays, since my realisation that we are struggling with debt, I have been tying to find as much free stuff to do and we've actually managed to have a few fun weeks, kids will enjoy being with their mum havin some quality time and u will feel refreshed from getting out the house and takin some time out and also being proud of achieving a freebie day (which I find quite satisfying). Just calling cccs & national debtline has given me huge motivation to take control and my man is similar to yours (head in sand) my theory and plan is to go away fill up on as much info as possible and present him with a plan.. I hope once he sees my presented solutions we can then move forward... Sending u lots of strength to take the bull by the horns! mrs x