Im a spendaholic- and I'm so worried

wdb2009

I have been keeping a spending diary now for two months and I know that Im a spendaholic/obsessive shopper.

I don't buy expensive things, I try and get bargains and shop at cheap shops, pound shops, home bargains etc but i'm finding it difficult to control myself spending every day- even if it is just a few pounds. I work in a very boring job so I think that going out on a lunchtime and spending a few pounds cheers me up and gives me a buzz, but however much I have tried I just dont seem to be able to control it. Or I go online in my lunchour looking at things. I know I mus stop doing this but I cant help the urge. Its like a compulsion for me.

I know this sounds funny and some people might laugh at me but I think I have a serious problem...I just can't control the urge to spend money, even if it is just a small amount. I've tried setting myself challenges but it doesnt seem to work. Just like quiting smoking, I think this is a serious addiction for me.

Luckily I have managed to pay off my debts recently (but only by selling my house) and I have always swore that I would never get into debt again as I will never be able to afford a mortgage again, so I have sort of been "punished" for my overspending in my youth!

But at the weekend I went into TKMAXX with a friend and guess what, came out with a load of new clothes. They are all quite useful, but now I feel guilty. I also feel angry with myself as I used a credit card to pay, which I swore I would never do again. I have enough money to pay the card off in full this month luckily, but Im worried I will do it again.

I know this might seem pathetic and irrelevant to people who are seriously dealing with debt but I just dont know who to speak to.

Thanks for listening!

Jacey53

I have the same kind of problem and have to fight it daily.

There is a tool on this site that allows you to calculate the number of hours you must work to pay for an item - the demotivator.

If you are in a dreary job this may well help you.

Can you go to a gym or something similar at lunchtime? the library? museum/gallery?

Could you stay in work and read? study? do some kind of craft? anything to stop you surfing the internet

Would your employer allow you to shorten your lunch break and leave early?

I'm sure that others will have more and better ides, but these are just possibilties.

eleanor73

I used to be like this. I still have that urge and when i don't fight it I try to buy things I will definitely use (cheap beauty products, presents for friends whose Bdays are coming up) I know this is not ideal but I find it helps me. When i do fight my urge hard I have a No Spend Day and it feels like such an achievement.
I know you said you have set yourself challenges but do try again and tell people about them - I find this workd better as I am much happier to fail if no one knows! I am currently doing no buying work lunches and am planning to do no toiletries in September or October.
One motivating tool I use is I pay my outgoings at the start of the month then I work out leftover cash and divide it by the day. This puts me off spending on stuff I don't need.

In a way I have swapped addictions - I am now addicted to bargain hunting (for essentials not luxuries) and saving pennies here and there. I wish you luck - you can do it!:)

Marisco

Hi wdb, the obvious thing is not to take any money with you to work - or only enough for your lunch. Personally (and I know many won't agree, but I hate them;)) I'd get rid of the cc. They only work if you use them sensibly and pay off the balance every statement. When you go somewhere like TKmaxx leave your purse at home, I really don't know what else to say. You can come shopping with me, that will save you some money, I hate shopping and only go to shops I need something from, then it's straight in and out!! Unless it's a bookshop, that's my downfall, then resistance is non existant:o My job was also boring, but I used to go to the local caff with a book and have an hour of peace and reading - bliss:)

eleanor73

Even though this is a long term goal - how about working towards a less boring job? Sometimes we spend (or eat or drink etc) to fill a gap we have in life (trying not to be an amateur psychologist!) and if you enjoyed your days more you may not feel the need to buy nice things!

wdb2009

Thanks everyone. Its only half an hour until lunchtime and already I'm getting the urge to go out at lunchtime even though I know I shouldnt. I've brought a sandwich to work, there is no excuse for me to go out of the office, so why am I feeling like going out to the shopping centre??!!

I do bargain hunt, I don't buy expensive things, but the problem is that I bet a buzz from spending money.

I have only one credit card left (I cut up all the rest) which is supposed to only be for emergencies.

I like the idea of coming to work with no money or debit cards!

I'm just angry with myself that at my age I should be so childish about money, I should be more responsible.

9217niall

Get rid of the CC, then you might not be tempted. Try leaving cash at home too maybe?
And if there's nice weather (or even if it's a little windy), how about taking a brisk walk to a nearby park or something and eat your sandwiches? And if you've not got the card or cash, you can't spend.
Maybe it's not the best advice but didn't want to read and run.
Good luck!

redsam

HIya

There are some really lovely comments and ideas on here WDB, what about opening an account where you dont have a debit card, one you can only take out cash, you could leave the other cards at home/in a safe/at a friends house so you dont use them so when you only have to use cash ts more real!

Your really lucky you dont have the massive debt, i hope it stays that way. What about also going through your wardrobe and ebay the clothes and shoes you havent worn for a year -get some cash back and only use that for frivilous spending ( I am doing that but its going towards debts!)

The idea of chatting to the boss to modify your hours is a good idea - if you tell him/her why they might be more flexible, if you dont ask you dont know.

What about- jogging at lunch time, a friend of mine hasa work pal she goes with at lunchtimes, in an aid to get trim and fit, if you like exercise worth thinking about and you could link it to a reward - X lunchtimes jogging no shopping = £ for frivilous shopping?

OR - hypno therapy.....if you get get it for weightloss there must be one who can do it for shopping!

good luck