Reaching out for help before it gets too bad...

missminicooper

Hi,
I've recently realised that avoiding those bills isn't going to help anyone let alone me and after spending a tearful 30 minutes on the phone admitting to my mom I have an problem I'm feeling a bit lost about what to do next.
I own my own home and car and earn a reasonable £32.5k but my debt means I am now 2 weeks into the month with nothing in the bank and only what's left in my purse to buy food, petrol and now have a car bill to pay for as my brake pads, tyres etc have gone.
My mortgage is £117k and I have a secured loan of £27k on the property. To add to this I have two credit cards maxed up to £13-14k jointly (I can't remember as I haven't opened the statements in months). I have a couple of smaller catalogue debts at about £800.
Even writing this down is making me feel sick and I just feel hopeless. I've tried so hard to hide the problem and deal with it but as everyone knows once you're in that debt it feels like you are in an ever decreasing spiral.
I just don't know where to start. If I make arrangements with my 2 credit cards will it impact on my home? I don't think I'm eligable for an IVA as my debt is more secured than unsecured.
I suppose at the moment I'm OK as I've managed to pay everything I'm just at the point where I can feed myself or realistically get to work. I've had a couple of direct debits bounce last month for small amounts and been charged £25 each time which hasn't helped this month. My car insurance was one of these and is due to bounce again this week and so that is a worry!!!!
Can anyone give me a starter for 10 as I feel like there is no way out at the moment.

Thanks.

365days

You need to fill in an SOA to see whats what.

It's a great starting point to see exactly how much money you have or haven't got to play with.

bottleofred

Hi Missminicooper & welcome to the forum,

The best course of action at the moment is to fill in your Statement of Affairs to see if we can save money that can then be paid towards the debt. Once you've posted it you'll get loads of advice/support in how to start getting sorted.

Good luck

rrf494g

take heart, you have already started on the way back

It may not feel like it, but admitting there is a problem and looking for help is the first step to getting that, "I'm on top of my problems" feeling. There are organisations designed to help people like you. Start at the local citizens advice bureau. You have stated your problem well on-line, and can threrefore take the post along with you if you find it difficult initially. An atitude of, "Look I know I've got myself into financial trouble but I'm going to get myself out of it", will get you a long way. Use CA to find the nearest organisation with the technical counciling you need about debt management, and take it from there. Do that tomorrow!

Likely priorities are your House and secured loans. The rest will form a queue to get their money. They have to, if you are genuine about ultimately paying them off.

You are not alone, however low this has taken you. C-Advice will get you to the specialists. Debt help is a big part of their workload. Good Luck. Please post with your progress/further problems.
regards

mum2one

You've dpne the hardest thing in the world and admitted theres a debt, as the poster above (apologies 4got name), suggested you do a statement of affairs, there should be a link on the top stickies.

What I'd suggest -
Open all the bills - get a balance owing and an apr rate (be on statements)

Get a spending diary - basic notebook, write down everything you spend, wether its 40p for a pack of bubblegum or £3 for a magazine - these are the little extras that drip out too quickly but without knowing exactly where.

Is there any priority debts, mortgage, council tax etc?

Pop the SOA up and we can all make suggestions as to where cuts may be made, as the old saying goes 2 pairs or eyes are better than one.

Your get a lot of support on here, I tried a couple of times before to clear my debts, and I will admit I failed, but since the support, help and advice, I have set myself challenges re paying off, what I want to do. Its not going to happen overnight, but hey rome wasn't built overnight.

If you any help or someone to chat to pm and if I can help I will xx

YORKSHIRELASS

OK, just by admitting you have a problem you have made a start. This isnt going to be easy but believe me you can take control of things and there will be a solution. The first thing you need to do is find a couple of hours where you wont be disturbed, sit down and open all of those statements. Try and get together a list of exactly how much you owe and to who. This is very scary and upsetting but you need to do it.

A full statement of affairs is a good idea but at the very least you need some monthly figures for your income and the essential outgoings (ie the ones that keep a roof over your head). This will give you some idea of where you are financially. I bet there are savings to be had in your monthly budget once you start unpicking it all. You need to basically know whether you can cut back on your spending enough to cover your outgoings or whether you might need to look at other alternatives.

Read through some of the stories on here. There are lots of people in the same situation and just knowing that others have coped will give you strength.

rak2

Hello! I'm a first time poster today as well.
I've just opened all of my post, some going back to 2007/8!
I've got an idea of the damage my debts are making but tomorrow I am going to start on my SOA to get a full picture.

I feel much better for opening the post although I know the next bit won't be easy.
I read a lot of other people's posts on the forum to get an idea of what I was supposed to be doing, and in the process lost a little of the fear and gained a lot of inspiration.

Take a deep breath and start opening, you will feel more in control right away, I'm sure and there are lots of people here who have been through it before who can and will help.
Good luck!

YORKSHIRELASS

Sorry, had to type that post quickly. Just another thought, do you have someone you share your finances with? You mention joint cards. Does your partner know what a mess you are in? I tried to sort it all out myself to begin with because I felt responsible but it was such a weight off my shoulders when I was able to come clean. I really do sympathise with you because I know how hard it is to be in this situation and how it can drag you down. It sounds flippant to say its only money but there is some truth in that. Hope you feel a tiny bit more positive. xxx

missminicooper

Thanks to you all for your kind and sensible words. It is only me that is responsible for this but I've finally reached out and discussed it with a couple of very close family and friends and tonight am sitting down to go through it.
x

dancingfairy

Don't forget there are charities that can help you deal with things - as well as your local CAB you can try CCCS (who also have an online calculator thing) or National Debtline.
The first thing really is to do a thorough budget for everything you ever need to pay out for and try and work out who you owe and how much - dont' worry if you only have a rough idea to start with -starting is the most important thing and you can always make adjustments.
As someone else said the most important things is to work out who are the priority debts - ie mortgage, council tax, gas/electric gsecured loans etc -all the others come further down the pile and will have to wait.
Good Luck
df
P.S - IVA's etc are a little further down the line - don't be panicking about them yet, you need to find out the extent of the problem and then you can sort through the various solutions available to you.

lanfear

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

Sorry, had to type that post quickly. Just another thought, do you have someone you share your finances with? You mention joint cards. Does your partner know what a mess you are in? I tried to sort it all out myself to begin with because I felt responsible but it was such a weight off my shoulders when I was able to come clean. I really do sympathise with you because I know how hard it is to be in this situation and how it can drag you down. It sounds flippant to say its only money but there is some truth in that. Hope you feel a tiny bit more positive. xxx

^^^ Definitely 100% this. I can't believe how much better I feel having finally told my OH about my o/d and credit cards. And it was coming on these boards that finally allowed me to screw up enough courage to confess.