Agents Diary

ruggedtoast

I am surprised this isnt more widely read on here. True he is a miserable so and so but its basically a blog from the front line.

http://agentsdiary.blogspot.com/

Trainee F pauses by my paper, brow furrowed, before asking exasperated. ‘So just what the hell is going on?
It’s a phrase I’ve heard regularly over my career, most recently at a performance review meeting with the bean counter boss – but more of that another day.

The rest of my team look at F with a mixture of pity and bemusement, but for once the bovine-brained buffoon has a point. Splashed across the front page is an article predicting major meltdown for the economy in general and the property market in particular. Less than two weeks ago a rival paper had forecast price rises of up to 20%. For once F has asked a salient question.

Like short-lived media personalities, the propensity to talk someone or something up, only to gleefully drag the subject matter back down again seems endemic. I can join in with the rest of the mob when it’s some semi-naked bimbo – male or female – who is being trashed, but when it’s my livelihood I get a little !!!!y.

‘Take it all with a pinch of salt.’ I tell F with the wisdom of experience and a vapid get out of jail free phrase.
‘So the market isn’t going to crash?’ Asks F querulously.
‘He didn’t say that.’ Contributes assistant manager T grimly.
‘Well they seem to think we’re heading for trouble.’ Counters F referring to a recent RICS report.
‘And you believe they know what they’re talking about?’ Laughs T sardonically.

The Royal Institute of Chartered Surveyors is the august body whose latest press release has warned of choppy waters ahead. The surveyors they represent aren’t an estate agents favourite profession, coming slightly above solicitors and well below bankers. The truth is surveyors generally haven’t a clue what something is worth until we tell them the agreed sale price and they lop 5% off for good measure.

A dizzying dollop of d!jà vu overwhelms me again and I have to sit down as I realise I’ve been here too many times before. Trying to second guess what the market is doing against a backdrop of contradictory media reports all serving to undermine an already fragile situation. Then in walks one of the aforementioned professionals.

‘Morning troops.’ Announces the surveyor breezily, he either has a skin thicker than mine or is oblivious to the antipathy in the room. To be fair to the man he’s one of the less destructive of his breed and doesn’t carry the nickname “ wrecker”, “spoiler” or “bomber”. That doesn’t mean we have to like him – just pretend.

‘So what do you think?’ Asks the surveyor, handing me the details of a house he’s valuing, one being sold by a rival firm. I begin to subtly undermine the price achieved but he’s already decided on that one. His question is more general.

‘I think price are unsustainable if I’m honest.’ He whispers. I’ve thought that for years, I think privately, but it’s not in my best interests to admit it.
‘There’s a glut of properties coming to the market and a dearth of buyers from what I can see.’ Continues the man, reading my mind unnervingly, before adding. ‘I’m beginning to feel nostalgic about Home Information Packs.’

True, the abolition of the despised packs has helped to boost stock levels, but the supply and demand situation has never been in balance since I joined the industry. It’s just a question of whether the buyers are shafting the sellers, or the other way round. As if to confirm it a sour-faced woman walks through the door clutching her survey report.

‘I wasn’t aware of all this work that needed doing.’ She whines using the report as a bargaining tool to reduce the price she agreed to pay three weeks ago. ‘And of course the market is falling now.’ She adds, before showing me the Energy Performance Certificate she ignored when pleading with me. “Don’t sell it to anyone else. We’ll pay whatever it takes.”

‘It’ll cost me at least £15,000 to double glaze and improve the energy and carbon efficiency.’ She concludes irritatingly.

Should my owners reduce? You tell me – failing that buy a paper

IveSeenTheLight

ruggedtoast wrote: »

I am surprised this isnt more widely read on here. True he is a miserable so and so but its basically a blog from the front line.

http://agentsdiary.blogspot.com/

As one of the commenters posted

Anonymous said...Sussex Idler,

Regardless of what 'virtues' SA may have, he bills himself as a 'Property Professional' with 25 years plus experience.

Given that he probably has dealings week in, week out with RICS (either members or simply reading their inept forecasts on the housing market) getting their name wrong seems a little amateurish.

For me, it looks like he's trying to promote / sell his book.

Blacklight

Twenty-five plus years sales experience. Author of this esteemed blog,who has also written a regular Sunday Times column, a feature article for The Observer magazine together with a forthcoming property anecdote book. Available for hire - like every salesperson - to perform commissions, weddings and funerals. Just leave a message and my agent might ring you - or me even.

Doesn't sound like the regular estate agent he makes himself out to be. Complete garbage tbh.

ruggedtoast

Blacklight wrote: »

Twenty-five plus years sales experience. Author of this esteemed blog,who has also written a regular Sunday Times column, a feature article for The Observer magazine together with a forthcoming property anecdote book. Available for hire - like every salesperson - to perform commissions, weddings and funerals. Just leave a message and my agent might ring you - or me even.

Doesn't sound like the regular estate agent he makes himself out to be. Complete garbage tbh.

The blogs been going for years, is read by a lot of people, and is now a book.

What have you done? Oh wait, thanked 939 times..

Really2

IMHO any blog for general reader consumption (to gain more readers) is part fantasy.

It may be based on some truth, but in part a fisher mans tale. Story's have to appeal to some one so the more you embelish it the better it will read.

Think of them like hollywood films that use "based on a true story"

Blacklight

ruggedtoast wrote: »

The blogs been going for years, is read by a lot of people, and is now a book.

What have you done? Oh wait, thanked 939 times..

It's yours isn't it?

twadge_face

ruggedtoast wrote: »

The blogs been going for years, is read by a lot of people, and is now a book.

What have you done? Oh wait, thanked 939 times..

Genius. That's why I only post here in moments of additional insanity on top of the usual load in my brain.

I'm trying to figure out when the ever-capitalised HAMISH MCTAVISH actually works. And chucky too for that matter. I was going to start a fun thread about what people do for a living and furthermore why they post here all the time, but then decided what's the point? I never stick around long enough to read what people say after I dip back out to get on with life.

This forum and its posters are like a soap opera. You pick straight back up where you left off no matter how long it's been...!

Anyway, back on topic. I like this blog and think the guy has done well to get a book out of it. Ruggedtoast is right on the money when he talks about it being too easy to waste time here doing, literally, nothing, whilst Agents Diary is a bona fide web phenomenon.

And why am I still typing? Well, this thread demonstrates very well how the web can clearly either be used by those verboseful (deliberate malapropism) either to try to do something unique and worthwhile, or just a platform for people to argue in, only for such thoughts to be diffused through entropic forces and, ultimately, deemed a bit pointless.

Ho-hum.

ruggedtoast

Blacklight wrote: »

It's yours isn't it?

Yes thats right. Despite that fact I keep hanging around here posting about getting on the housing ladder with a young family to pay for, I am in fact; a 50 year old estate agent subtly trying to promote my blog.

twadge_face

ruggedtoast wrote: »

Yes thats right. Despite that fact I keep hanging around here posting about getting on the housing ladder with a young family to pay for, I am in fact; a 50 year old estate agent subtly trying to promote my blog.

Brilliant bit of viral marketing. Smart.

chucky

!!!!!!_face wrote: »

Genius.

you're not one of those...

!!!!!!_face wrote: »

I'm trying to figure out when the ever-capitalised HAMISH MCTAVISH actually works. And chucky too for that matter.

let it go... release the pain... you're not very bright... if you could construct a decent argument wou wouldn't have to put together posts like these...

!!!!!!_face wrote: »

And why am I still typing?

because you're not that bright maybe?

twadge_face

chucky wrote: »

you're not one of those...


let it go... release the pain... you're not very bright... if you could construct a decent argument wou wouldn't have to put together posts like these...

because you're not that bright maybe?

Hello chuckles!

So you bother to say all this but you hunt down my posts and bother to abuse me and ignore all the constructive stuff I've said. How cute, you little sweetie pie. :j

Let what go? Release what pain? I'm having the time of my life. I never said I was "one of those". I just specialise in communications, hence the angle I take.

Do you stalk people like this all the time? Cuz dude, seriously, I really do just dip in and dip out. It's Friday afternoon again and I do like to pop in for a cuppa.

What were you actually trying to demonstrate with your post? Were you exemplifying the value of Martin Lewis's forum as a genuinely useful thoughtspace where the vaguaries of the property market are meaningfully discussed?

Or were you responding in a non-sequitur fashion because you have an inferiority complex when not understanding someone's long words? Even Blacklight has acknowledged my comment about ruggedtoast being a cunning viral with a thanks (thanks BL mate! )

Because, actually, as I steer this topic back on topic you might just notice that you demonstrate aptly my point about contributing to entropy. Well done you!

And many thanks for this, because I believe it further underlines my point that Agents Diary is an impressive piece of work compared to anybody who wastes time dossing around with their thoughts here (including yours truly!).

One thing you DID get right is that this forum has about as much meaning and entertainment value for its participants as vacuous daytime TV... such as This Morning (is that still on? I'm a little out of touch, but hopefully you get the point. Hopefully).

I just like to express myself.

Oh, hang on, I get it. You were baiting me for one of my entertaining responses. YOU are the genius, sir. I doff my cap at thee.