Changing our lives....

Sessie

Ended up walking down to the factory sweet shop before I picked the children up from school on Monday. They had boxes of butter popcorn (in bags to do in the microwave - four bags per box) for 50p!! So I bought 4 boxes - that's the next 16 Friday Night is Film Night snacks sorted for £2! :T. The children stay up later on a Friday and we get blankets and pillows and all snuggle up together and watch something whilst nibbling.

Went to the dentist yesterday and she repaired the tooth for now (cost £60 which was pretty good as it was crumbling to bits) - it should last a good few months but it eventually needs root canal work and a cap on. Estimated cost? £600! :eek:. I asked whether it would be easier/cheaper just to take it out but as it's right at the front it would be pretty unsightly and not easy to make a bridge to replace it so... *sigh* guess I have something to save for in that last tin I bought!

I've been thinking for a few weeks now about maybe getting a job a couple of nights a week maybe in the garage shop or one of the restaurants that's close by - perhaps I need to do more than just think about it now! I don't know if I'd just be too tired though, what with working 3 days one week and 4 the next alternately AND running the house AND having the twins. Also, not sure how I'd work that when Mr S works away for the whole week, which he's been doing a lot recently.

Also, need to find out whether it'd actually be worth it - as I'd be taxed on the income so might end up tiring myself out for maybe an extra £20 a week. Hmm...

Am currently sitting in agony, not able to do ANYTHING I had planned as I put my back out yesterday morning too. I bent down to fasten Boychild's coat zip and BAM! Disc popped out. Can't remember if I've explained before but I slipped two discs about 15 years ago and it just "goes" a few times a year, sometimes from the most minor of movements. Was in tremendous pain all day - was taking me two or three full minutes just to stand up out of my chair to go to the loo or get a drink. Took too many painkillers and just lay in bed (still in pain) too wired to sleep and having the most RANDOM thoughts!

Tried to go into work this morning but was sick as soon as I got there, partly with pain, partly with too many painkillers. Luckily my Manager knows I don't swing the lead and as soon as he saw me told me to get home again. So I'm just having a quick flick around the net now and then I'm going to try and get some sleep. Mum and dad are going to keep the children at theirs for tonight as I just wouldn't be able to cope with them. I wouldn't be able to bath them or undress them tonight or sit on the floor and read bedtime stories and I certainly wouldn't be able to walk them to the bus tomorrow, carrying all their school stuff. Sometimes they dash off ahead and I have to run after them and catch their hand before they get near the road, not risking that happening and not being able to keep them safe.

Didn't manage to put £20 in the savings tin, only £10 as I had to get a taxi home from work today which cost £10. Still, the amount is still going up!

Meals yesterday and today from stores so that's still going well.

Bit of a boring one today and something of a "poor me" one too! Sorry!

tattycath

Hope you're feeling better soon. ((hugs))

BubblyBo

Hope that bad back feels better soon.
Love reading your diary, you are so motivated.

tattycath

I'm implementing your idea about shopping locally- It's working for us. -Especially when Mr tc goes to the shop as it comes out of his ready cash, not mine. :rotfl::rotfl: Joking aside, this means I can make more overpayments on things, whereas if I paid for the small shopping trips my lovely Mr tc would not think to overpay something.

Sessie

Thanks for your good wishes guys.

Currently waiting for the doctor to ring me. I am in so much pain it's ridiculous. I can't go on like this. Hoping she might send me to hospital to see if something.. ANYTHING can be done. The children are supposed to be coming back tonight and there's just NO WAY I can look after them.

tattycath

Sessie wrote: »

Thanks for your good wishes guys.

Currently waiting for the doctor to ring me. I am in so much pain it's ridiculous. I can't go on like this. Hoping she might send me to hospital to see if something.. ANYTHING can be done. The children are supposed to be coming back tonight and there's just NO WAY I can look after them.

(((hugs))) hope the dr can do something to ease your pain.

Sessie

Things are NOT good.

Spent over four hours in A&E yesterday being poked, prodded and asked a million questions (all of which they could have got from my notes but hey...). In the end, despite my doctor saying I needed an urgent scan (as I couldn't feel it when I was.. uh... passing water, which is apparently a big red flag with back problems) they didn't do one as they said whatever the result it wouldn't change what they were planning to do. Which was basically pack me off home with a load of drugs. :mad:.

They've given me diazepam which is SUPPOSED to relieve the horrendous spasm the whole of my back is in. I had a big dose yesterday and have taken two smaller ones today and the pain hasn't changed a BIT. Have hardly been able to even walk around the living room today, barely slept again last night and the pain is just unbearable. I have horrible sciatic pain down both my legs, the toes on my right foot are just numb and cold, my neck and shoulders are really achy and tight from having to press down with my hands to get up out of the chair, on and off the loo and generally press along the wall to walk anywhere in the house. I have a headache which is mostly from holding myself all tense but I CAN'T relax at all.

I've only got enough diazepam for tomorrow and Sunday, I can see us having to go back to A&E on Sunday to beg for some more and them just saying, "See your GP on Monday" - because yeah, getting in to see your GP on the same day you ring is THAT easy....

I have been told by various GPs and Consultants over the last five years or so that I need an operation and it will solve most if not all of my back issues but every time I am referred for it, the PCT deny me and say they don't have the money. The private cost is £22,500 so there's no chance in hell I can fund it myself. It's a NIGHTMARE trying to look after twin 4 year olds, work and run a house when your other half works away for weeks on end when my back goes like this. I'm lucky that I have family close by who help out immensely but it's just infuriating that I can't get the help I so desperately need. If I was on heroin, I'd get methadone. If I'd had a boob job and wanted the implants out, I'd get that. Both of those things are CHOICE, my back problem isn't. It just seems so unfair.

Anyway, on the bright side, I have a huge pile of magazines and some of the books I got for Christmas that I can sit and read over the next few days (difficult to concentrate for long when the pain is this bad hence magazines rather than books) and as the pain is making me feel sick, I barely want to eat so I'll lose a bit of weight and also my stores will last longer! Gotta look for the silver lining eh?

Finally, we cancelled Sky last night and have bought a Humax (FreeSat plus - has all the Sky things like pause, rewind live TV etc...). It cost £250 but there's no subscription fee after that. Sky was costing us £34 a month and as our machine was playing up they were going to charge us some ridiculous fee to replace it so in the long-run this is going to be better. We had the £250 in a savings account so it's freed up £34 a month from now on. We hardly watch TV ourselves and most of the children's channels are still on FreeSat so it made sense.

Mr S and the children are going bowling tomorrow with some of his family (paid for by the Tesco voucher exchange!) but I'll have to stay home as there's no way I can even sit on the seats there to watch.

I think the only outlay we'll have in the next few days is another prescription charge for me, if they will even give me any more diazepam and we need a costume for Boychild for World Book Day on Wednesday. Girlchild has a witch costume from Halloween so she can be the witch from Room On The Broom. I seem to think one of the supermarkets sell Mr Men costumes so I'll send Mr S out on Sunday to try to find one of those for him.

Anyway, can't sit with the laptop any longer, too hurty so I'll sign off for now.

tattycath

(((Hugs))) can you not go to a and e and tell them you can't cope, your toes are numb and they must surely do something? Quite frankly I find it disgusting that they have just packed you off home with obviously ineffective pain relief. I really hope the hospitals GPs etc will sort this out for you soon. X
If they won't help you at a and e over the weekend I would go to the drs on Monday and tell them you need medical attention urgently and refuse to move until someone sees you, you can't go on like this. It"s pants.

Sessie

I was screaming the place down on Thursday Cath (A&E) but the doc said although he KNOWS I need the operation, if the PCT have said no there's not a chance I'll get it so there wasn't even any point in doing the scan.

The letter I got back from them said I didn't show "sufficient need" to have it! I mean, you know I have to have time off work regularly, I can't care for my children or do anything in my house but apparently that's not "sufficient need".

My dad is furious too, he's all for writing to our MP and the local paper and everything! Thing is, I know there are many other people in as bad if not worse a position than me and that the funds are just not there so it's a bit of a no-win situation.

Hopefully the diazepam will start to kick in today and the spasm will relax a bit and the disc will move back into place. Then it's just a case of having a week off to let it settle down again. The children are going to go back to mum's in the week next week but I need them home this weekend as I missed them so much last week. I needed them to be away due to my total inability to do ANYTHING but I really did miss them.

Have just taken painkillers and this morning's dose of diazepam and am feeling a bit nauseous and light-headed, think I should have had some breakfast first. Probably will be back later.

Pinky15

Sending hugs also - how awful. I know family members who suffer from back pain and its terrible and that's without little ones to look after. x