Marriage Counsellor

itsraining_2

have went anon for this.

married for nearly 5 years been together for over 11

I was told this morning that that is it, he wants out.

i'm looking for a marriage counsellor in NI. i'm happy to travel as going home straight after work is not that appealing right now. would love any recommendations and ideally the price should be a low as possible.


while i'm happy to hold my hands up and say i shouldn't be surprised - i'm hard work - i'm not prepared to just accepted that its over and thats it and walk away.

nobody else involved on either side.

steveymp

https://www.relateni.org

They are supposed to be very useful.

Not meaning to sound harsh but marriage counselling, like a relationship only works if both parties give it 100%:o you may be wasting time and money if your other half is not willing to put the effort in.

I hope all works out for you in the end.

AlwaysWorking

I second the recommendation for Relate. However if you are looking for some support quite quickly, it might not be the best place for you. I think it is 4-6 weeks before you get an initial assessment to see if you are suitable for counselling and then it is another couple of months before you actually start the counselling....in my case that was too late as my ex had already moved on and was seeing someone else by then.

Relate is, however, a fraction of the cost of private counselling at £35 per session.

Best wishes.

belfastgirl23

You can also go to relate alone if he is unwilling or unable to go along. Get yourself on the waiting list asap...

Good luck!

itsraining_2

thanks for the replies.

i don't even know if marriage counselling is the correct path. i recognise that i'm the problem, I have changed through my twenties to, shall we say a less optimist person. I get stressed and annoyed over the smallest things.

Going to my docs is not an option as they are far to keen to record EVERYTHING on my medical record. In the 10 minute appointment I’d have anger management issues along with depression and probably sexual and alcohol problems as well.

I want to fix this not feel I’m being judged.

itsraining_2

the irony – “marriage counselling” and “wedding cake needs iced” threads beside each other

made me sorta smile

drew2k9

why not try ringing carecall and setting up an appointment even just for you to try to help you get some sort of peace of mind or help with the next step? they will listen and help you in the right direction.

they also have a 24 hour phoneline you can ring if you need someone to talk to.

i wish you all the best with this, i honestly cant properly empathise with you having never been in that situation, but i am sure it would be hard to get your head and your heart around whats happening, but if you really work at it at the very least you will know you did all you could do and that its down to him if he wants it to work or not.

wuckfit

It sounds as if you've all too readily accepted all the blame for this. From what you've posted, it sounds like any counselling should also involve addressing other issues in your life. Your posts seem to point towards a long standing depressive type illness, possibly with an element of disthymia?
Only you know what has brought on this change, and whether it's in reaction to something or there's some underlying cause.
Whatever the outcome, it sounds like you're unhappy with a number of aspects in your life. Only you can know what needs changing, but I'd be surprised if Marriage counselling on its own will be the solution.
Not much more I can add really. Sometimes pouring it all out to a doctor, or even someone else, can get the ball rolling to enable you to take the first steps towards moving on. I don't think that, say, antidepressants on their own do much good. I believe that they are a sticking plaster approach, and counselling or therapy in conjunction with medication is a better approach.

I hope you get something sorted out. If you need to vent, there's always PMs.
Best of luck.

leftieM

Ask at your local church about this. They may provide a service that you can use. Afaik they take donations rather than a fee so you are free to give as much or as little as you wish.