Housewifes (or husbands... or house co-habs or civil partners ?...) & the economy

treliac

treliac wrote: »

I'm sure that 'the good old days' were hugely better for children.

As a footnote to my own post, I've just spotted the following news item. (Not a problem confined to Wales)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-10902558

More than 120 children under the age of 12 in Wales were referred for specialist help for drug and alcohol problems, figures reveal......

These figures are only those we are aware of - it's frightening," he said.

"If you go back 15 to 20 years this wouldn't have been happening."

It's what has come about with a changing society, unsupervised children of working parents, etc. etc.

neverdespairgirl

Herbie_Hancock_I_wish wrote: »

When I look back, maybe 50 years ago , the sahm seem to be the norm. .......

If I may be as bold to say my friend, you are doing it your way and glad you are happy with it. The old days where , imho, the better days for kids all round.

treliac wrote: »

I'm sure that 'the good old days' were hugely better for children. As for mothers... my mother was happy as a sahm and I would have loved the opportunity, at least for a short time. Obviously women have different priorities but I think it's rare for a mother to feel she has real control over her life and division of duties.

I don't think it was necessarily the "good old days". My Dad says he reckons his mother got very fed up and frustrated, especially after he and his brother were at school all day.

Before the children were born, my grandmother was a nurse, and then a matron in a Children's Hospital, and she both loved it and was good at it. She got bored and frustrated, and lacked the choice to do anything about it.

My mother chose to be a SAHM from before I was born (I'm the eldest) until I was 17, my sisters were 15 and 12, and my brother was 11. She then went back to work 2 days a week, as a teacher, which suited her down to the ground. But she chose that (she and my Dad together, they both wanted the same things), and she was happy with it.

I'm not a SAHM. It wouldn't suit me. I'm very glad I have a choice.

treliac

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Did yours never go through a stage aged about 18 months to 3 when they followed you everywhere, including the loo?

Not that I remember.

There's no way I'd work, sort out childcare and do all the housework too. It's down to me AND OH, jointly. I do all the laundary, he irons. I cook more, he shops. etc. And if we have a childcare crisis, it's whoever isn't in court who handles it.

When mine were little, DH worked long hours. He was out before they were up in the morning and wasn't home until they were either in the bath or already in bed. So it was more or less all left to me to see to everything, as well my own job. He was in a male orientated environment where it wasn't acceptable to be taking time off for childcare.

I have to say that his hours are better now and he does most of the shoppng and cooking, but our two are grown now - one about to start a masters, the second about to start at uni.

I was run ragged when they were small.

blue_monkey_2

These days the dog follows me to the loo. However, unless the dorr is locked there is usually someone else in there with me unless they are at school!

I think that kids these days are left to fend for themselves and they do try things that kids 20 years ago would not have done. Drugs seems so readily available these days, when I was a teen it was practically unheard of for kids to take drugs, let alone getting hold of them - these days it seems unusual for kids NOT to have tried drugs in one form or another.

Maybe parents are so keen in keeping the kids occupied when they are under 14 that the minute they get too old for after school clubs and stuff they are bored and need to find something else to do and so turn to drugs. My friends kids do something after school almost every day - plus Saturday and Sundays - and they are just 7. I sometimes feel guilty, that I do not do enough with my children after school but then I have to remind myself they are only small, they still go to bed at 7.30, why would I be giving them 3 hours of extra curriculum activiy every day?? My DD is exhausted with Brownies and Swimming after school. So maybe lifestyle choises these days are also to blame. I guess we'll never know.

The woman next door used to go out to work and left her 9 and 7 year old to fend for themselves during the holidays. More shocking is that the police spoke to her and told her not to do it and she still did - and why Social Services were not interested I'll never know. Thanks god we do not live next door to them anymore.

Herbie_Hancock_I_wish

Blue_monkey my sincere respect to you. I do honestly mean it. I would imagine you are a lot happier than many people who post here. You sound like a really nice family. Thank you for replying to my post.

I have young relatives paying dreadful amounts into mortgages these days. Well I won`t go into that but seems dangerous Hope you guys carry on well.

michaels

I'd love to be a SAHD - I already make a choice to have a job that lets me see feeds the kids in the morning and eat with them in the evening (cooking about 50% of the time in the week and all meals at the weekend) rater than earning more but working longer hours with more commuting. We also 'manage with less' for example our cars are 'pre-depreciated' and no sky reduces the chances of the kids (or me) wasting too much time in front of the goggle box.

If (when) I do get redundant we might swap roles - yes we would have a much lower income but tax credits would reduce the impact of this and may be we would have to have a mortgage for 25 years rather than paying it off in 5 but so be it. Main loss would be not being able to visit relatives who are an intercontinental flight away.

neverdespairgirl

treliac wrote: »

When mine were little, DH worked long hours. He was out before they were up in the morning and wasn't home until they were either in the bath or already in bed. So it was more or less all left to me to see to everything, as well my own job. He was in a male orientated environment where it wasn't acceptable to be taking time off for childcare.

My OH and I do the same job, so I wouldn't take any of that "I work harder than you do" line from him (-:

neverdespairgirl

blue_monkey wrote: »

I think that kids these days are left to fend for themselves and they do try things that kids 20 years ago would not have done. Drugs seems so readily available these days, when I was a teen it was practically unheard of for kids to take drugs, let alone getting hold of them - these days it seems unusual for kids NOT to have tried drugs in one form or another.

I don't know about 20 years ago, but 15 years ago it was pretty common for teenagers to drink / smoke pot sometimes.

treliac

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

My OH and I do the same job, so I wouldn't take any of that "I work harder than you do" line from him (-:

It wasn't about that... he just wasn't physically present.

Although there was a period, when he had been made redundant, that he got to be 'mum' more than I did.

StevieJ

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

My OH and I do the same job, so I wouldn't take any of that "I work harder than you do" line from him (-:

We used to have a Yank guy at work and if he went home early (say before 6pm) his wife sent him back saying he wasn't working hard enough, more like creeping hard enough :eek: