This last month has knocked me back...

looktothefuture

Hi all,

Just wanted a vent so that I can see it in black and white and it will boost me to get back on track! I've been doing so well up until the first part of July and I'm slowly beginning to feel myself slipping!

Things were really great up until my mother decided she wanted to go on holiday for her 50th birthday to Turkey at the beginning of July. I was paying all my bills and debt repayments on time, hadn't had one returned DD in almost 16 months and I was beginning to save for our wedding.

I had £400 spending money for the 2 of us on holiday, which in my opinion was more than enough for the weeks we were there. We would have been fine if on the first 2 nights the group we were with hadn't gone massively overboard with the drink and food and hadn't insisted the bill get split 9 ways (how can you say no to your mother, father and grandfather??). We didn't even eat TL160 each night, nor did we drink an additional TL80 of booze but yet we paid it. Unfortunatly it left us massively short for the rest of our stay and withdrew an additional £100 and for the rest of the week we only paid what we had on the menu (so what if we looked like the penny pinchers... we've had a really rough few years!) and had no days out, walked everywhere and scrimped for the rest of the time.

It hasn't helped that the agency I work through have now changed the day that they pay me - without informing anyone (although I am still getting my payslip sent to me on a Wednesday so I was unaware of the change). My wages used to go into my account on Wednesday and would clear on Thursday. But for the last 4 weeks it's only going into my account on Friday - but clearing immediatly. The problem is my DD's and SO's are set up to come out on a Thursday weekly (or in the event it was a Wednesday, there would be funds to take from). I didn't discover this for 3 weeks (ie Saturday last week) and by that time I'd had 5 DD's returned, they'd tried twice on 3 of them to take it again and bank charges on top!

I've not been able to do a shop for groceries (couldn't understand why my card wouldn't work in Tesco last weekend!! ), so we've been living on the bare minimum (our store cupboard is a lot more bare now! and I've discovered some really tasty low cost meals), I've been driving on fumes and just waiting to run out because I've got to have the money to get my travel into London (no work, no pay!), my car went for it's MOT last week and I've not paid the garage yet (thankfully I go back a while so a few days of late payment won't incur any charges!) I've not had the motivation to open mail again and like I said at the beginning of this post... I can feel myself slipping!

Someone shout at me and get me back on track!

happycamel_2

No shouting just (((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))).

Sounds like you got bounced out of your routine and you're dealing with it really well. Any chance of an interest free loan from your family for a few weeks to tide you over 'til you're sorted with your new pay dates?

Also, talk to your HR, they shouldn't have changed your pay date without warning you. Maybe they can be persuaded to stump up the resultant charges. Worth a try anyhow.

And a MASSIVE WELL DONE for posting here rather than making like an ostritch!

Good luck and keep smiling

looktothefuture

Thanks Happy Camel, I really needed some positive feedback!

I am trying very hard to deal with this properly and not do as I would have in the past and bury my head in the sand! (or like you say, make like an ostrich! LOL!)

I've spoken to Payroll and they say that they are unable to help with any charges which resulted from their change in payment days and they are also unwilling to change my pay day back to a thursday as they only have 1 pay run! No help there then! Grrr!

I don't want to loan money off my family as although they know about my debt, I don't want to burden them once again with my debt problem. However, I have told my mom that the £50 I pay her monthly to pay back what I already owe her won't be coming this month until I get myself on an even keel again - she understood and said "when ever you feel that you can start again then pay then.". That is really helpful to me.

I intend sitting down tonight with my partner (who's also finding it really hard to get back on track!) and working out our budget (SOA) for the week, fortnight and beyond! I know I can do it... I just needed to see this in black and white so that I can't deny it again!

determined_new_ms

sounds like an unfortunate run of circumstance, definately no shouting necessary! Can you get the dd's changed to a different date so you can eeek a few extra days? Be proactive and contact the dds and explain the situation maybe they'll let you spread the missing payments over a couple of months, open that post, its not worth the sleepless nights. Blimming families!!!! Good job you've got a full store cupboard x

stay strong you've clearly come a long way to changing ur habits, a bad month is just that x

LuckyBiscuit

we all go through these little hicc-ups!!!!! You should try to view it as a challenge rather than a problem!!! and try not to get too stressed you were doing so well before, think about how far you've come!!!
Sending big "hug's"!!!!

Your doing great XXX

looktothefuture

I am going to have a look at the DD's tonight and see what I've got coming out in the next month and start changing them to come out on the Friday rather than the wednesday.

The DD's are household bills and insurances and nothing to do with debt or debt repayment so I'm sure I could eek out a few extra pennies by asking to spread the missing payments over the next few months! The SO's I've already moved and these are all my debt repayments and notified the companies involved that I've moved them by a day or so - most were quite understanding and said not to worry it was fine as long as I'd notified them, 1 said I'd receive a default and 1 tried to increase my monthly payment by £10 as I'd not had a review in months (hello mate, give me a bit of a break!).

The post will be opened tonight as I want to update my signature on MSE.... my friend has been bugging me for months to do it so she can keep an eye on my debt repayments.... the siggy is waaaaaaayyyyy out of date and will be proof of what I've achieved to date.

determined_new_ms

ur sounding more positive already, good to hear! Next time you go on holiday, with family or friends, let them know you really want to go (if you can afford it) but that ur on a tight budget so will only be paying for things yourself. Its better to deal with everything head on - I can imagine if I were in your position on those first couple of nights it would have spoiled it for me becuase I would have been anxious about the cost involved. Best if ur straight to begin with.

Incidentally we're going on holiday to Turkey next month - is it expensive/cheap? We're going all incl. but hope to have a couple of days out? Thanks would really appreciate some inside inof! x

PinkLipgloss

looktothefuture,

Sounds like you are doing really well in keeping your outgoings under control - well done!

Do you use online banking? I find it a really useful and easy way to manage my Direct Debits. I also check it before going shopping etc so I know exactly what I have to spend.

looktothefuture

determined_new_ms wrote: »

ur sounding more positive already, good to hear! Next time you go on holiday, with family or friends, let them know you really want to go (if you can afford it) but that ur on a tight budget so will only be paying for things yourself. Its better to deal with everything head on - I can imagine if I were in your position on those first couple of nights it would have spoiled it for me becuase I would have been anxious about the cost involved. Best if ur straight to begin with.

Incidentally we're going on holiday to Turkey next month - is it expensive/cheap? We're going all incl. but hope to have a couple of days out? Thanks would really appreciate some inside inof! x

My family realised I was on a tight budget before we left but when everyone insisted that the bill be split 9 ways to keep the cost down and treat my mom I didn't feel that I could say no, especially since it was a celebration for my mothers 50th! And it did spoil the start of the holiday. Toward the end, we got better and better at saying no, better at saying "we'll cook a meal in the villa" and better at walking! LOL!

Where about are you going in Turkey? We were in Olu Deniz There is a thread here about where to go in Olu and things to do etc. It's not expensive to eat out, but do watch what you are paying for and don't fall into the same trap we did - don't see £££'s advertised and then you go in and they charge you in Turkish Lira (they get more bang for there money that way - the exchange rate changes daily!). Also, take about £50 in Turkish Lira and then change up the rest of your money in Turkey (don't take Travellers Cheques - they are a mission to change into cash!).

pennypusher

It sounds like you've been doing really well. Very difficult to say no when you are on hols with in laws. Just put this behind you and get back on track. You've achieved a lot, well done.