Advice please !!!

ernest2005

Bit od advice please.... i currently have about £8000 debt on cc and o/d both with barclays. I live with my partner who knows nothing of this but i have managed to pay minimum payments and still have excellent credit ! However i am a stay at home mom and not working so though my other half pays all the bills so i dont have that to worry about i dont know how long i can keep the payments up for. Would it be worth me asking barclays for a loan to pay off these debts and at least i'll be paying off somthing. I'm not working so didnt know if this would be possible ......

mortgagenomore_2

No sit your DH down and explain you have got slightly into difficulty with cc's/od and then work together to paying more or how to deal with the situation surely if you are now a SAHM you did work until having children, they cost a lot im sure he will understand! good luck you have come to the right place and im sure more/better advice will follow mine!

bottleofred

Hi ernest2005,

A loan would not be the answer and you would definately be better sitting your other half down and telling him the truth (difficult I know, but your going to have to do it sometime). You can then discuss the problem together and hopefully settle on a resolution.

Good luck in getting it sorted

corbyboy

Asking for a loan wouldn't be a good idea as would just be paying extra interest on top of what you already owe. This would only put off the inevitable, eventually you will have to pay it back.

Since you don't have any of your own income you won't be able to clear this debt by yourself. There is absolutely no way you can sort this out without involving your partner.

So your choices are:

1. Tell your partner the truth and discuss how you are going to solve it.

2. Put it off for a while and keep borrowing more money. This will eventually lead to you getting in over your head and you will start getting letters and calls from debt collectors. Your partner will then find out anyway and want to know why you kept it a secret for so long.

If I was in your situation I know which one I would pick. Hope everything works out well for you.

Marisco

I agree, you must tell him the situation. They probably wouldn't give you a loan anyway, as you have no income to pay it back.

ernest2005

thanks for your replies
If telling him just wasnt an option what would be the best step to take. I know im putting off the inevitable but i'd rather scrape by than tell him. Not a great relationship at present and prob only get worse if i tell him my problems.
Is the loan such a bad idea! i thought as my debt was solely with barclays it would be better for them to give me a loan than to get to a point i cant pay what i owe them. Is that really niave of me as i'm not working.I have always paid the minimum amounts and never missed a payment but dont know for how much longer. Its all so scary and I am on my own in this . thanks again

happycamel_2

Hi, doesn't sound like a great situation to be in so (((((((((hugs))))))))).
1) if he goes nuts then calms down it's not too bad, if he goes nuts and stays mad he isn't worth having anyway
2) it would be better to go to him with a solution rather than just a problem. Could you do a bit of part time work, is there anyone who can baby sit for you? Could you register as a childminder and take other kids in, could you do a bit of cleaning or do nightfill in a supermarket. Then you could say "I have debts but I want to do x to pay them off and need your support". Could you even do your old job full or part time and put kid(s) in childcare?
3) put up a SOA (link in the stickys) and we might be able to help you save some money you can pay towards the debts. If you reduce the outgoings you might be able to pay it off using some of the housekeeping or whatever that he gives you

Good luck

*Jellie*

It might be worth heading over to the up your income section and looking on the main site about this. There might be ways you can earn some cash which will fit round being a SAHM

RAS

ernest

Consolidation is almost never a good idea, particularly with a creditor who knows you are already struggling. their aim is to get even more money out of you.

Things you need to do:

Get an SOA up on here, so we can see if we can help you.

Learn about clicks and survey and loads of other tricks on here.

Join the up your income forum and Money Saving Old style.

What do you have lying round the house that you can sell on e-bay, amazon or at a carboot sale?

looktothefuture

Ernest, I was in the same boat 18 months ago apart from being a SAHM... I'd just been stupid and spent more money than I earned but at the time my relationship was rocky to say the least! I *hid* my shame for longer than I ought to have but it all came out in the end when a balliff came a-knocking when I was out! The beans were spilled for me.

Get up a Statement of Affairs and we can go through it and see what savings we can help you make

Visit the Moneysaving Old Style Board and see what savings you can make without too much effort

Have a look at the up your income forum and see what you can do to actually up your income as well as being a SAHM - it's not easy but some suggestions work. Also, is there anything lying around in your home that you can sell off at a bootsale or on ebay?

Once you've done all of these, you've taken the 2nd step in becoming debt free.... the first step was coming here and asking for advice! Well done!

podperson

I know it's hard but think you are going to have to bite the bullet and tell your OH.
You would be extremely unlikely to be able to get a loan since you currently have no income of your own, plus if you did manage to then you will still have to find the money to repay that.