New to this and feeling very stressed!

Mrs_Bea

Hello
Am being brave and after much browsing have decided to post!
I have been trying so hard to cut down my housekeeping all year but no matter what I do I ALWAYS spend £500-£600. There are two adults and 3 children under 10 in our family and I shop mostly in Tesco.
We suddenly need to 'find' £2,500 for a new boiler/central heating repairs and so it is now imperative that I sort myself out because as a SAHM I have no income and I feel that this is all I can do to contribute.
I like cooking/baking and although happy to cook most things myself I am accomodating 3 fussy children and although I am aware I should just think 'they'll eat if they're hungry' it's not that easy. Being realistic they will continue to eat chicken nuggets and fish fingers and I can't belive that it would be cheaper to make these!
To be honest I just don't know where to start.... I have had a look at the Aug grocery challenge but didn't know if I could just barge in? (Although considering it's the 4th and I've already spent £210 it's quite depressing)
Has anyone else gone from feeling out of control to being able to spend what they can actually afford (At the moment it would be £400)? Have others found this process stressful and actually quite upsetting (typing in tears, although this could be caused by 3 bickering children in the other room?!)
What would help most?
I know that this is a ramble but wonder if someone could just point me in the right direction?
Right ... off to make a cup of tea and pull myself together!
Mrs Bea

OrkneyStar

Welcome on in .
I too am a SAHM, I only have 1 child though, and completely understand the feeling of, despite having no income, wanting to contribute to the finances in a helpful way.
Firstly grocery challenge- yes you could join in this month (I used to do it but no longer- they are a friendly bunch). Some people use the first month simply as a guage, to count how much they are spending. It seems you have started this already though- great- you might want to continue doing that for this month, or if you think things are urgent you could start yourself straight away with a lower budget. You say you have spent already, so perhaps set a target for the rest of the month...even just a little less than now is a start. There is a load of gumpf at the start of the grocery challenge thread which goes into more detail about all this so won't waffle any more.
Other threads to check out would be meal planning threads, store cupboard challenge, weezls recipe threads.
Other suggestions might include: 1. making meal plans/shopping lists and sticking to them, 2. shopping at Aldi/Lidl etc. 3. shopping online to avoid temptation, 4. checking out reduced section (often better later on but not sure how that would work with kiddies!), 5. throw nothing away!
Anyway, hth and all the best x

couteaux

Hi

Sorry you are feeling down. Do join the challenge! I have followed them for ages, just reading. But have actually gone for it properly this month as I also really need to cut down on food costs.

One thing I have found really handy is menu planning. It has meant I haven't needed to shop every other day, I am really concentrating on what I have in stock. I always have loads in the fridge/freezer but it would get to 5pm and I'd realise I didn't have anything out of the freezer ready, so off to the shops and £30 later.... do that a few times a week and it was just silly!!

How about going through all the things you have in the freezer/fridge and cupboards and make a list of some meals you could make from that.

It can be overwhelming at the start, but once you sit down & go through it all it actually feels very liberating to get things under control. A written menu plan on the fridge can help keep you focussed.

Do let us know how you are getting on, and if you feel overwhelmed, post here and I bet there will be some advice from someone here to help x

rachbc

recognising the problem is huge first step. What works for some people on here won't work for you but a few tips that have worked for me

meal planning - stops that 'whats for tea' feeling' and its so liberating only having to think about it once a month - also means you only buy what you need

yellow stickers/ whoopsies/ reduced foods - we eat really well because of these

avoing big supermarkets except to look for the above - aldi/ lidl/ markets/ asian stores/ b&m/ homebargains are all so much cheaper

Eating all together and not accpeting fussiness - yes I know its easier said than done but its not good for thier health/ social development or your budget for kids to eat differently to you

paulwf

Please don't end up in tears! To put it in perspective to reduce down from £500 for a normal good month to £400 is only a £100 drop. Rome wasn't built in a day but over a few weeks I think you can manage that target.

Check out the shopping section on the main MSE site for some tips, especially the "downshift challenge" - try and drop down 1 brand and if you don't notice a difference stick with that, for items you can't bear to swap then don't.

Sign up at mysupermarket.com and start a shopping list there. You can instantly compare prices between supermarkets and it sometimes suggests swap and save alternatives. It is also worth checking the websites of the main supermarkets for their weekly offers. You can then split your shop between 2-3 stores and also bulk buy when there are good offers on.

Most of the supermarkets also have introductory offers when you shop online, that could give you a good boost for the first month.

I bet the downshift challenge, visiting other supermarkets and getting the offers will save you the money alone!

If you keep receipts you could also have a quick look at what the most expensive items are. For example cutting down on wine, cheese or meat might save you a lot, but there is no point at first in switching the brand of bread you buy if it only saves 20p. Personally we've found puddings and sweets expensive so cut down on those to save money without compromising on healthy main meals.

Hope that helps...there are lots of other ideas but I'd ease yourself in, concentrate on the big savings first and perhaps leave the others until you've had a little while to get into the OS frame of mind.

DianaMattos

Just wanted to give you a virtual hug as you sound like you need one

Go with the advice on here, and remember to take baby steps, to do it all at once seems so overwhelming. Perhaps start with a meal plan and write your shopping list from that. Are your children of an age where they can each choose a meal once a week for the meal plan? If they are involved it might, just might, help the fussiness.

Keep posting on here and getting the encouragement that you need and you'll be cutting your bill down in no time :j

Winky,_The_House_Elf

I just want to say welcome and well done on posting here!

It feels like a huge mountain to climb, but just a small change at a time will get you there. Everyone here will be supportive and non-judgemental.

The most useful thing I did was to list everything I bought and had in the fridge/freezer/cupboards. I soon noticed a pattern of some things getting thrown away each week that I bought from habit, without even realising it, or because I might just fancy it at some point!

Next I menu planned (well loosely) I looked to see how many meals I could make, and what I needed to fill in the gaps. I then stuck to that list. I still plan weekly, but rather than a strict rota I will know I have x number of meals to choose from each night depending on what I am in the mood for.

Finally the biggest savings have come from batch cooking (or mostly making a double portions and freezing half) which not only saves cost in the way you might think (cooking time in oven , ingediants cost etc) but stops me from grabbing ready meals or even a takeaway as I know theres something good in the freezer rearing to go.

Others will be along soon, so enjoy your cuppa!

blackcrow

please dont stress!

my advice would be to listen to what everyone says and do trial and error to find what works best for you.

also (from experience!):

DONT shop with kids

If you HAVE to shop with kids, make a list and play the game where they have to find the items on their list and add them to the trolley

xxx

Broomstick

To add to what's just been said - if you have to shop with children, make sure that everyone, including you, has had a filling meal first! Always, always shop with a list.

Here's a suggestion for a the first week. To make meals a bit more grown-up you can always find cheap salad stuff in season and make lovely salads with home-made dressing to have alongside the main meal.

Main meals 1 and 4: Work out the two cheapest meals you already cook that everyone will eat.

Main meals 2 and 5: Cook two meals that you can cook from what you already have the ingredients for.

Main meals 3 and 6: Go for something home-made, cheap, cheerful and vegetarian eg. baked spuds, cheese and beans; pasta with tomato, veg sauce and cheese or whatever. (Incidentally, something my children used to do when they were young was to grow their own (non-hot) cress on the windowsill and we used to use this as a sprinkle to garnish meals like this.)

Meal 7: Cook something that you fancy eating and cooking - heaps of ideas on these forums. Turn it into a posh meal for everyone with ice in drinks (and straws?), napkins, candles etc... Maybe you can magic up a pudding too.

That's week one's main meals dealt with.

HTH

B x

EstherH

Well done on taking the first step and asking for help. Hope some of what has been said helps and you are feeling a little less daunted.
I just want to say that by being a sahm you are contributing loads to your family and that is so important. Know it doesn't get the boiler problem sorted but just wanted to say that.
Look at what you have bought already this month and see how many meals you can make out of it.
Try and do a plan with that.
Then see if you can get any yellow sticker reduced items that can make more meals.
Rubber chicken is a good thing. There are loads of threads on that. You will probably find it in the recipe index, but basically buy a large chicken and use for roast, stew, curry, sandwiches and make soup out of the bones.
Will think of some more later. Hope it helps.

midnightraven3

Mrs Bea

dont feel at all daunted or stressed
you are about to embark on a new way of life
one that is very fullfilling
mentally & financially

lots of peeps on here with sterling advice, tips & tricks
which you will soon pick up and mold to suit your lifestyle

i agree with all the others, menu planning is key
as is batch cooking etc

we will soon get you sorted out:D