He's stopped working to avoid paying

Stressed76

Hi,

My childrens father and I split up in 2008, and he paid child maintenance to our 2 children up until christmas 2009 when he stopped working. He also announced at this time that he had got engaged to his new partner & they were getting married in March this year.

I questioned how he could afford to get married yet couldn't afford to pay maintenance for our children to which he replied that he would be back in work as soon as possible.

The wedding went ahead in March & 2 days later I got a call from the CSA informing me that my ex had contacted them to see how much money he had got to pay for the kids. He had lied to them by saying he has the kids overnight twice a week, so I was told that he had to pay nothing as he claims job seekers allowance. After telling the CSA he doesn't have the kids overnight at all, they told me he will have to pay £5 a week.

Him & his wife have recently had a baby and are now receiving over £1200 in benefits a month, thats not including the child maintenance she receives for her 2 children from previous relationships (£60 a week).

What I'm wondering is, is there anyway that I can get more money from him. I'm barely able to pay my bills, my kids have got no bedroom carpet & they desperately need new clothes etc.

I've tried talking to my ex about this but all he says is "Its been set by the CSA, so I'm not giving any more money". He has no intention of working because he gets to live rent free. They are forever out drinking, they both smoke, he takes her 2 children shopping all the time for toys and clothes, but he won't provide for his own any more.

I've read that only his money can be taken into account regarding child support payments, Is that correct?? Is there nothing I can do to get him to pay more for our kids?

Thanks for reading !!

sassy_one

Stressed76 wrote: »

Hi,

My childrens father and I split up in 2008, and he paid child maintenance to our 2 children up until christmas 2009 when he stopped working. He also announced at this time that he had got engaged to his new partner & they were getting married in March this year.

I questioned how he could afford to get married yet couldn't afford to pay maintenance for our children to which he replied that he would be back in work as soon as possible.

The wedding went ahead in March & 2 days later I got a call from the CSA informing me that my ex had contacted them to see how much money he had got to pay for the kids. He had lied to them by saying he has the kids overnight twice a week, so I was told that he had to pay nothing as he claims job seekers allowance. After telling the CSA he doesn't have the kids overnight at all, they told me he will have to pay £5 a week.

Him & his wife have recently had a baby and are now receiving over £1200 in benefits a month, thats not including the child maintenance she receives for her 2 children from previous relationships (£60 a week).

What I'm wondering is, is there anyway that I can get more money from him. I'm barely able to pay my bills, my kids have got no bedroom carpet & they desperately need new clothes etc.

I've tried talking to my ex about this but all he says is "Its been set by the CSA, so I'm not giving any more money". He has no intention of working because he gets to live rent free. They are forever out drinking, they both smoke, he takes her 2 children shopping all the time for toys and clothes, but he won't provide for his own any more.

I've read that only his money can be taken into account regarding child support payments, Is that correct?? Is there nothing I can do to get him to pay more for our kids?

Thanks for reading !!

Depends what benefits he is getting but, in most cases, he will only pay £5 flat rate a week depending in his income

BLT_2

Stressed76 wrote: »

Hi,

My childrens father and I split up in 2008, and he paid child maintenance to our 2 children up until christmas 2009 when he stopped working. He also announced at this time that he had got engaged to his new partner & they were getting married in March this year.

I questioned how he could afford to get married yet couldn't afford to pay maintenance for our children to which he replied that he would be back in work as soon as possible.

The wedding went ahead in March & 2 days later I got a call from the CSA informing me that my ex had contacted them to see how much money he had got to pay for the kids. He had lied to them by saying he has the kids overnight twice a week, so I was told that he had to pay nothing as he claims job seekers allowance. After telling the CSA he doesn't have the kids overnight at all, they told me he will have to pay £5 a week.

Him & his wife have recently had a baby and are now receiving over £1200 in benefits a month, thats not including the child maintenance she receives for her 2 children from previous relationships (£60 a week).

What I'm wondering is, is there anyway that I can get more money from him. I'm barely able to pay my bills, my kids have got no bedroom carpet & they desperately need new clothes etc.

I've tried talking to my ex about this but all he says is "Its been set by the CSA, so I'm not giving any more money". He has no intention of working because he gets to live rent free. They are forever out drinking, they both smoke, he takes her 2 children shopping all the time for toys and clothes, but he won't provide for his own any more.

I've read that only his money can be taken into account regarding child support payments, Is that correct?? Is there nothing I can do to get him to pay more for our kids?

Thanks for reading !!

Sadly the law is unable to force scumbags (I use this phrase based upon your tale being the whole truth), like this to support their children. It beggars belief that anyone could turn their back on their own children, the statutory 20% should only be the start of what an absent parent should be prepared to pay. I would estimate that around 35% of my monthly income goes to support one absent child when taking into account maintenance payments, travel, clothes and entertainment. It is correct that his new partners income cannot be taken into account, after all, they are his children not hers. It would also seem that her only income is child maintenance and child benefit, these are sacrosanct and cannot be touched.

I suspect you are going to have to look elsewhere to seek additional funds to support your children given his refusal to live up to his responsibilities. My first recommendation would be to contact the Citizens Advice Bureau and make sure you are not missing out on any entitlements you should be receiving.

My second recommendation would be to monitor his activities, I find it hard to believe that anyone would actively seek unemployment, it would drive me insane to not be able to work so he may be working off the record. If so you know what course of action to take :-)

bubblegum26

I used to get £6.50 per week whenever the benifit people could be bothered to pay it.... that was 12 years after he walked away I had nothing up until then. So for 3 months I got £6.50 per month now nothing because he's got a job and refuses to pay so now they are taking him to court to get payment, as soon as that goes thru he'l give up his job again.... its a never ending circle thats been going on over 12 years he's even been threatened with going to jail but he would rather do that than support his child. Some men are very sad and very very selfish.

I wouldn't hold out on CSA, they do there best but can only work within the rules which unfortunately doesn't help those of us with kids to support.

BLT_2

bubblegum26 wrote: »

I used to get £6.50 per week whenever the benifit people could be bothered to pay it.... that was 12 years after he walked away I had nothing up until then. So for 3 months I got £6.50 per month now nothing because he's got a job and refuses to pay so now they are taking him to court to get payment, as soon as that goes thru he'l give up his job again.... its a never ending circle thats been going on over 12 years he's even been threatened with going to jail but he would rather do that than support his child. Some men are very sad and very very selfish.

I wouldn't hold out on CSA, they do there best but can only work within the rules which unfortunately doesn't help those of us with kids to support.

The CSA advised me at one point that I was paying too much and advised me that I could reduce it. That seems strangely at odds with their remit to ensure that absent parents support their children

justjohn

Sorry OP

We are not all the same. As a man he should be ashamed.
There is nothing i can suggest.

ilovemykids1979

35% lol what do you earn £400 a month.

so you think we should pay tax and insurance of 31% than csa 35% so how do we live?, you wonder why more and more fathers are doing things to reduce payments.

yes we have a responsibility but should we also need to live.

i know every situation is different but my experience of PWC is "money money money" they would have happily have all my wage and me live in a box and there are hundreds of thousands like her......sad

leo110303

ilovemykids1979 wrote: »

35% lol what do you earn £400 a month.

so you think we should pay tax and insurance of 31% than csa 35% so how do we live?, you wonder why more and more fathers are doing things to reduce payments.

yes we have a responsibility but should we also need to live.

i know every situation is different but my experience of PWC is "money money money" they would have happily have all my wage and me live in a box and there are hundreds of thousands like her......sad

THIS IS SO TRUE, i had to fight my sons mum in court to see my son, (long story - (3yrs at £30k solicitor fees...) and I pay her £365 p/m. although its not aimed at all PWC but my one is solely MONEY MONEY MONEY... I am struggling to live and pay bills, I'd love to have more kids but i simoly cant afford too. So the percentage of wages that the CSA take is MORE Than enough.....

Soubrette

Sadly there is not much you can do - if he has savings over a certain amount (check with the CSA, I think it's about £16000) then you can apply for a variation based on that.

You can also apply for a variation based on lifestyle inconsistent with earnings.

However his partner has no responsibility towards the upkeep of his children (and rightly so imo) and so her income is not counted. If he genuinely has no income and choose not to work then he owes you nothing.

As to the nights - I would collect start collecting proof that he does not have them when he says he does. Texts where you ask him when he's going to have them next as he hasn't seen them for x amount of weeks - keep yours and his responses, same with emails etc. If he is on benefits and doesn't see them regularly then you should get a nominal amount.

I have a friend in exactly the same situation and she has just had to accept that her ex will do anything to avoid paying for the kids (he was a lazy get when they were together though :mad:)

PlayingHardball

BLT wrote: »

Sadly the law is unable to force scumbags (I use this phrase based upon your tale being the whole truth), like this to support their children. It beggars belief that anyone could turn their back on their own children, the statutory 20% should only be the start of what an absent parent should be prepared to pay. I would estimate that around 35% of my monthly income goes to support one absent child when taking into account maintenance payments, travel, clothes and entertainment. QUOTE]

BLT-total respect to you. If only more NRP would see that 20% for 2 children is not only statutory, but morally right.

Too many NRP assume that all of us PWC are out for only the money and are either living in mansions with private butlers at the expense of the NRP, or going out partying, smoking and drinking away THEIR hard earned child support payments! I don't know ANY PWC like that, and I only wish you were my ex husband! lol

At the end of the day, money is great, but kids are greater.

BLT_2

ilovemykids1979 wrote: »

35% lol what do you earn £400 a month.

so you think we should pay tax and insurance of 31% than csa 35% so how do we live?, you wonder why more and more fathers are doing things to reduce payments.

yes we have a responsibility but should we also need to live.

i know every situation is different but my experience of PWC is "money money money" they would have happily have all my wage and me live in a box and there are hundreds of thousands like her......sad

Firstly the 35% which I stated I outlay is only an indication that 15% is purely the start point of the overall bill, the additional costs are that which every father pays in relation to travel costs, clothes, outings and entertainment for their absent child.

Secondly you are being slightly misleading in stating that you pay 31% to the government and that the 35% would be added to this. Your contribution is after the tax and insurance is deducted.

Clearly there are different circumstances for everyone and we often get only one side of the story. As you say many wives are constantly on the outlook for more of the absent parents income, however there are just as many fathers who believe that once they leave the familial home then their responsibility ends.

It does not, it is for life, and any father who believes he can absolve himself of responsibility for his children doesn't deserve the name.