Perhaps getting everything off my chest is a good first step....!!

Chasingdreams

Hello everyone,

Can I just start by saying that if you're reading this looking for advice then perhaps stop reading now as I've just realised just how usless I am with money. I've thought in the past that I've had my lightbulb moment but clearly not as I haven't been strong enough in my actions with trying to clear my debt.

Last night I had a long hard mirror moment and I now know I really need to take control of my financial situation. I can't sleep tonight, hence the 2:30am post, and am racking my brain for a solution to the situation I've found myself in. I am in approximately 25k of unsecure debt and I feel as if I'm on my own in dealing with it (hence the idea that posting on here may make me feel better).

I've kept it a secret from my partner the exact amount of my debt (although she does know they're substantial). It's killing me that I've kept this secret and I'm very unlikely to tell her as I'm frightened it may drive us apart. But at the same time, I don't ever want to get to the point where I feel as if I am holding her back.

I work in a well paid job but my monthly income has taken a pretty big drop with the monthly sales incentive's going down due to the recession. If I'm honest I'm on the verge of being signed off with work related stress as the management are aiming to manage people out of the business to cut costs. This is making it hard to get up for work each day. If I didn't have these debts and responsibilities I would have resigned by now!

I'm currently studying for a masters degree in the hope of re-training to earn more in the future but I can't finish my degree quick enough!! I want to earn some extra income alongside my job but with the substantial degree work that's difficult.

Anyway, I'm going to trawl through the board now to find as much useful information that I can and use it to help me get out of this situation. I know that it will end one day (ie when the loans end etc) but month to month right now is very difficult.

I'm not sure of the purpose of this post, and I'm fully aware that I'm waffling. I guess it helps being able to share my problems in public, despite the fact we're all anonymous usernames on here.

If anyone has found themselves in a similar situation and managed to get out of it, please feel free to share any tips/advice on how you did it. Thanks for reading.

Chasingdreams

Hannah_10

Welcome to the MSE (Money Saving Expert) forum and especially to the DFW (Debt Free Wannabe) board. I guess the point of your post is to begin to show a new kind of accountability to yourself. If so then it's the same reason I keep a DFW diary and put a percentage in my signature, both of which I am finding truly helpful.

As regard the advice on how you get out of it, we could use a bit more information. Usually we like to see a SOA (Statment of Affairs) to give us a better idea where your real options are. Don't worry too much that you can't earn more than you currently do, we have several other suggestions we may make which don't revolve around getting more coming in but can and do result in a lowered debt burden, it all depends on your circumstances and so far we don't know much and so can't be very accurate in our replies. As I said a SOA is usually the first step (CLICK HERE), but it's not essential so don't feel you have to.

All the very best with it, whatever it actually is.

Ellieseleven

Just wanted to say Hello and welcome! I can totally appreciate where you are coming from but this site is amazing for advice, support and help - it has been my saviour over the last few weeks and the people on here are so knowledgeable. :T

This site is my inspiration and motivation to get out of debt and I am sure that it can be yours

Ellie xx

Geebee

Hi Chasingdreams.

Welcome to MSE. One of the beauties about this (DFW) thread is that you can come here and have a 'waffle' about your debts, worries etc. Most of the people here are or have been in pretty much the same position as you are right now, and so we all understand. The knowledge and help that is available to you, is virtually endless, use it!.

As Hannah said, the SOA really is the first step, we can then take a look at what is coming in and going out and you'd be surprised at the ways cash can be freed up when need be. Please dont feel embarrassed about posting your SOA, nobody is here to judge, but it really is the first step to sorting out the debts and making and sticking to a budget. Also a spending diary (writing down every single penny that you spend) can be really useful too, you'd be surprised how those odd 2 quids on coffees etc soon add up!.

Good luck. GB

Wee_Jo

Morning Chasingdreams! :hello:

Welcome aboard! You have come to the right place for support, advice and laughter - all of which I think are essential to all of us who are struggling to regain control of our finances! :j

Everyone who posts on the DFW board is in a similar position to you - they have either been through it, are going through it or have come out the other side but still stick to the DFW principles to stay that way!

As Hannah said, the Statement of Affairs is the best first step and, although it is scary and time consuming to do, it's really important because it allows you to see where you are and allows everyone here the opportunity to help you, to show you where to shave off those vital £££s which will make a big difference.

Chat soon

Jo

redsam

Hi Chasingdream..i had my light bulb and mirrior moment in the last week or so - reality is very daunting and scary, but on this site everyine has been really lovely and the reality is your not alone. There are lots of threads with info and ideas. Being aware of what your spending is essential, what has to be paid and what can be changed/lowered or cut out. After joining this this and being a regular on the DFW section i have come clean to my partner (he has stopped growling now) my friends and family (sister not parents!) - it has really helped and them knowing i am truely broke and need to oay my debts means they can support and i know i dont have to go shopping with them or buy presents etc...

To add to my stress i dont have a job come september so am really stressing but i am confident i will find something to tide me over whilst i look for the permanent post..welcome to MSE, take the bull by the horns, breath and feel positive that there are ways, it will take some time but it will be done.

Smile today knowing that there are many of us in the same boat

Chasingdreams

Thankyou everyone for your responses. I feel a bit better today after sharing my problems but realise that I have a long way to go to sort them out.

Can I just ask everyone's thoughts on a consolidation loan? My employer offers a loan at a competitive 8.8% which doesn't show on your credit file or involve any credit checks. I'm sorely tempted to apply to pay off all of my credit cards (I have 4) and then cut them up and make the loan payments. I can also make overpayments without any ERCs should my monthly bonus be healthy enough to allow it. Some of my credit cards are s high as 24%. Surely this makes sense to do so. Please tell me if I am wrong?

Once again, thankyou very much for replying. I'm looking forward to he chanllenge and and how rewarding it will feel to finally get there!

This is definitely the place to hlp me achieve that goal. :-)

Hannah_10

It does and it doesn't.

Obviously if you can take a debt that's at 24% interest and make it into a debt that's at 8.8% interest then that seems a good idea on the face of it, but that's the kind of rate I am used to seeing advertised for secured loans. Turning unsecured debt into secured debt is a very bad idea. (See Martin Lewis' article on it.)

You've also only just told us that work stress is crippling you and you'd jack it all in at the first chance if you weren't indebted... So being indebted (and therefore tied) to your employer strikes me as even more worrying. It's not going to make the job any nicer, if anything you'll feel trapped which then ups your stress levels. Who's to say you're not going to get axed next month if the economy takes another shapr turn downwards too?

I think it's easy to look at the reactionary leap out of the frying pan and even easier to convince yourself that's not a fire down there it's a big orange cushion. It's what people do when they're overwhelmed. It's also what keeps you down in the debt pits forevermore. You need to slow up and stop reacting, more thinking less doing. Show us your SOA, until we see it we don't know what we're going to suggest and until you see what's suggested you can't know that you've considered it properly instead of taking a leap you'll later regret.

We're on your side, but we can't be much use without the information.

Chasingdreams

Hannah, you're response is more than valid and definitely gives me some food for thought. Thanks again!

I'm going to get my SOA up for any adivce/feedback tomorrow, I imagine about mid-morning...:)

Hannah_10

I will be sure to read it, glad I was able to help

Nottoobadyet

heya - welcome to the boards!

The main problem with consolidation (in addition to Hannah's excellent points) is that without a lifestyle change, you will likely end up running up the cards again. There are many, many people on this board who have been there and done that!

Looking forward to seeing the SOA, nothing can take the place of sensible budgeting.