Family Member Denying They're in Debt.........

Bella198421

a family member of mine is completely in denial they they're in debt. I know they're in debt cos i've seen letters demanding payments and they always hide the post when it comes, only opening ones that arent' important in front of me, and also i've answered phone calls asking for them and they're always the same numbers and the long business numbers. and when i say something to them like "what was your letter about" , they just say "nothing" and seem all sheepish like they're hiding something and i say i know you've got other debts and they act like nothings wrong. i don't know what to do i paid £120 for one of their store card debts, after i found it and it was way over limit and they were threatening court so i got scared and paid most of it off, yet i know they're still using it. i'm just so angry that they deny it and i'm scared of people knocking on the door and them going to court.

yung

some time it is hard to admit it when you are in Debt, and also asking a direct question often put people on the defensive. the only way to find out is to talk about the problem as in a matter of fact in life and it might lead to an answer.

all_hours

You could try softly softly and start talking about your own debt - if you have any. You could try the direct approach and say you know they have a problem and they need to deal with it and get help.

Either way - if they have access to the internet give them a link to this forum. It will help finding out they're not the only person in the world with a debt problem.

Smashing

DO NOT PAY OFF SOMEONE ELSE'S DEBT FOR THEM!

If it takes having to go to court for them to wake up and take responsibility, then perhaps it will be a good thing.

You did not cause this.
It is not your responsibility to fix this.

duncans-mum_2

It is hard to see someone you love going through something like this. If you are scared for them then chances are they are feeling it threefold. This is maybe why they are in denial and hoping it will go away. I was like like this at one stage in the past, as I believe other people on here have been.

When someone is in this situation, sadly, it is almost impossible to force them to face the problem head on, they need want to do it in their own time.

Although being supportive and perhaps trying to talk about it in an indirect way may make this come a little quicker. Are you able to mention this website/ leave you computer on accidently so they may be able to read for themselves? Actually reading that there are other people in the same if not worse financial situation can make you see there is hope, and is perhaps easier to digest in your own time.

I wish you luck in acheiving peace of mind for both your family member, and yourself.

jessicamb

If talking about it doesnt work or you are running out of options...

I dont know if others would advocate it but could you inadvertently 'find' some evidence - not a nice option at all but you would force the issue with your relative. Its going looking for trouble though IMHO - so be prepared for anything you might find and the arguments that would follow.

I really hope your relative can find the strength to open up and speak to you though.