Whats the norm? Who pays?

Kazz81

So we are getting married next year, and have myself, himself, my sis as MOH, my daughter as bridesmaid, his friend as BM, his brother as groomsmen.

Am I correct in saying the norm is to pay for all of the outfits for the above? Does this extend to shoes for the boys or do they get their own? We are getting married in Spain, so will be buying the clothes rather than hiring.

Also, is it normal for my dad to wear the same as my hubby to be? I have it in my head but not sure if its what **should** happen! If so, would it be completely off the wall to have my dad and my hubby to be in the same suits, with the BM & his bro wearing the trousers, shirt and waistcoat, but not the suit jacket? I kind of dont want to be buying 4 full suits for them not to be worn!

Oh and last one-is it normal for the bride to contribute something to her mothers outfit? I feel a bit tight if we are getting my dads, my sisters and not my mums! Maybe not the full outfit, but to buy the shoes and handbag or something:( I am sooooo confused and its playing havoc with my budget planning!!

hayleythedaisy

We got the full suits for Groom, both fathers and best men. Then dresses for BM - they are both adults so got their own bag and shoes.

All of our men folk had the same suits, groom had ivory rouche and others had blue.

I think you should get your OH to try on the trousers, shirt and waistcoat combo to see if it looks "right" for the photos and not like they have just taken their jacket of IYSWIM? If it does then that would be fine for them, if you have ties for them I would get a different colour for your groom, and have the father and groomsmen wearing the same.

Considering you are buying the suits, and as they may be suits that are the type you could wear again, you could suggest that they pay for their own jacket and you'll get the rest.

Also, not sure if it would be a bit warm in full suits for your OH and dad?

I didn't contribute anything to my mum's outfit, although if I had the oportunity to see her dress before the day I would've offered to get a bag.

Dinah93

Its normal to provide outfits for the bridesmaids, groomsmen, and both fathers as they usually wear suits to match the groomsmen. Shoes depend on how fussy you are about it all matching - end of the day no one but you will ever notice so long as they are all the same colour - I'd save money and just buy a tin of shoe polish to make sure they're all smart on the day.

Kazz81

Thanks for the reply-to be honest, I just want the suits for the church and the photos:rotfl:we are having the ceremony in a catholic church and I fully accept that the jackets will be discarded after the church service and pics are done, hence not wanting to buy 4 of them the wedding will be around 4pm, so the weather should hopefully have cooled a bit by then, but its still so warm in the evenings!

Will have to get him to try on loads of random combinations while we are in Liverpool with his brother-at least that way I can see him fully suited beside bro in the toned down version!

The whole thing is mental-we live in Isle of Man, BM lives in Belfast, my dad lives in Dublin and my future bro in law lives in Liverpool-getting them all together would be like a mission of epic proportions!

OHs parents are not in the arrangements so I dont need to worry about them, phew!

are we ok to let the boys sort out their own footwear do you think?

Kazz81

Dinah93 wrote: »

Its normal to provide outfits for the bridesmaids, groomsmen, and both fathers as they usually wear suits to match the groomsmen. Shoes depend on how fussy you are about it all matching - end of the day no one but you will ever notice so long as they are all the same colour - I'd save money and just buy a tin of shoe polish to make sure they're all smart on the day.

Just saw this after I posted-show polish is something I never thought of! I am not fussed on their footwear at all as long as they arent wearing trainers!

welshbride

we are paying for my bridesmaids and then paying for full suits for my h2b, my dad, step dad, grooms father, best man and his 3 brothers.

marshmallows

when i got married all the men in the wedding party wore the same suits, only difference was hubby had a different colour cravat and hanky so he stood out from the rest

we paid for all suit hire

tamarto

I wouldn't expect you to pay for your dads, traditionally, they pay, so you never would. Nor would i expect your dad to wear what your hubby does, i'd expect to see the best man wearing similar to the groom, ie waistcoat but no jacket. As it's abroad have you thought about linen trousers or something slightly less formal than a suit?

As for Bridesmaids, we went halfs as we chose something she could wear again.

Kazz81

we have been advised against pure linen by our wedding planner, so are looking for some good linen mix clothing. Also were advised that in the heat, light colours would show sweat marks very easily, which adds to the issues.

i have just been looking at some pictures of previous weddings and it appears that there is no set standard to follow and everyone has done something different-although the one thing that is standing out is that a lot of the boys are wearing black suits!

floss2

My friends got married in Sorrento a few years ago - the gents all wore linen suits, I think they bought his & Best man's. The suits were all differing shades of cream, beige & light brown and they looked really smart.

minerva_windsong

My dad bought his own suits for both my sisters' weddings, and the only thing that the groomsmen matched was suit colour (between themselves not with the groom or either of the dads), and they all had matching ties. I generally think varying the colour of the waistcoat or the tie is a good way to make particular members of the group distinct from others.

The linen mix suit and smart shirts thing is a good idea, again in different colours to help people stand out.

With regards to bridesmaid's outfits, I think the parents of the bride traditionally pay, but I would expect any bridesmaid/groomsman worth their salt (or their parents if they're too young) to at least offer to pay for some part of their outfit, especially if it's something they'll wear again. I would have quite happily paid for my outfit both times I've been a bridesmaid but due to my very kind and generous mum the only thing I bought was a handbag.

And I've never heard of buying your mum part of her outfit - that's a new one on me!