Newbie needing help!

LilDevil

My OH and I need some help in getting rid of his ex wife (no we're not planning to bump her off!!!!).

He has several debts that he has clocked up on her behalf from when they were married and now they are getting divorced, we want to try and get rid of them so that we can get her out of our lives financially.

This has proved impossible so far, we have tried getting loans, credit cards etc and no-one will touch us with a bargepole due to his debts and also my poor credit rating.

We want to get a bigger house, but the Housing Association won't let us have one jointly until his name is taken off the deeds to his former marital home.

His ex wife pays virtually nothing towards the debts as she is unemployed due to ongoing medical issues, which means he alone is trying to pay them all off, plus paying his share of our current bills.

The rent arrears on his previous property are clocking up as the ex wife is not paying the full rent every month.

Can anyone give us any advice on how we can get rid of these debts - we are willing to take on the rent arrears but can't get the money together to do it!!!

Thanks in advance for your help.

LilDevil

Wonder_Girl

Can these debts be worked into the divorce settlements at all?? if they are mostly hers and she is keeping the house can't this be taken into account? have you spoken to the lawyers about this?

Good luck hun, i know what a pain ex's can be (((hugs)))

LilDevil

Not really, the divorce is going ahead even though the financial side of things aren't sorted.

The problem is that none of us can afford to pay it back - the one that I want sorted is the rent arrears so that he can have his name taken off their property.

She seems to think we're living it up here (she lives across the road from us!) even thought we're not.

She thinks we should pay it to get her out of our lives - she thinks that as we're both working, this should not be a problem.

She is on a 2 year course (some sort of intensive councelling/therapy) for all her psycological issues, which means she doesn't work, she constantly bangs on about never having any money.

His name is on the car finance - even though he doesn't drive - she insisted on getting some huge gas guzzler of a Rover because her brother had just got a new car which was better than their old one - so OH is now paying half of it as well as the left over finance on the previous car!!!

He also has a ccj because he took out a loan to try and pay their debts off but because of her constantly leaving jobs, they fell behind on the payments.

We've tried everything we can think of to consolodate the various debts so that we only have one payment, but as I said before, no-one will touch us with a bargepole - even the mega high interest rate companies!!

Wonder_Girl

Ok I’m going to be blunt. There are not his debts why should you struggle for x years to get them repaid when she won’t lift a finger?

Has your OH considered handing the car back to the company? If he isn’t driving it he shouldn’t be paying for it and if she won’t pay for it then she shouldn’t have it! speak to the HP company about handing it back. The shortfall on the car (if any) will be a lot less than the balance as it stands that’s for sure.

Do you have some more info. Can you do an SOA? Then we might be able to offer constructive advice

LilDevil

She is paying half of the car loan (for the one she has now), the problem is because it's in both their names, he is also held responsible - this is what we've been told by the car finance people and the HA.

We are managing well with our debts, we sat down a few weeks ago and worked everything out and we can pay all our various bills - there are a couple of companies we have made special payment arrangements with to give us a bit more time to get into our new way of doing things (we did lay it on incredibly thick with them to get the new payment plan!) and to get rid of the bank charges that are still to be taken out of my account!

OH was amazed that he could easily afford all his bills and his share of the joint bills after writing everything down - previously he hadn't been paying his share of the joint bills coz he never had any left - which is why I've been having problems!

The only thing we really want is to sort out the financial aspects of his former life - this is mainly because we know the rent bill will just keep getting higher and higher and it's stopping us from getting a bigger house - we are in a small 1 bed maisonette which is very difficult when his daughter stays with us - we want a 2 bed house so that she can have a room of her own - she won't go to sleep unless she sleeps in our room with us - which doesn't leave us much privacy.

I guess, I am probably wanting too much too soon but I just want us to be free of her financially (apart from paying maintenance for his daughter).

Angie
xx

CLAPTON

you need to post your statement of affairs .. without seeing any numbers its impossible to have a sensible view

with the debts be sure to say which ones are yours only, his only and which are jointly with OH and his ex.

msmicawber

Hi Angie,

Do you think it might help to post an SOA (statement of affairs) up here, so that people can see if there's any advice they can give about lowering your outgoings and/or paying off the debts more quickly? If so, it would be a good idea to post up how far the rent is in arrear, and how much is left to pay on the car loan, etc.

msmicawber

Tee hee, Clapton gets in first again :rotfl: