Time to face the music i think

hitabrickwall_2

Hi all

I am in a complete mess with money. My outgoings are exceeding my incomings and I have been using credit to pay credit and have reached all my limits. This has happened due to a lot of reasons including having a baby and living off maternity pay and my husbands business failing so he has been unable to help me with money.

My husband does not know the extent of the problem. I need to sit him down this week and I feel sick at the thought. Hopefully he will stay but any arrangement I make with the creditors will have to be based on my income only and I do not want him to be involved in it.

I am going to speak to CCCS tomorrow as they have been recommended to me. Is this the best option do you think? Does anyone have any advice where I go from here?

Thanks all so much

Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 2
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1372
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 60
Other income............................ 200
Total monthly income.................... 1632
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 250
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 75
Electricity............................. 32
Gas..................................... 53
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 22
Telephone (land line)................... 15
Mobile phone............................ 35
TV Licence.............................. 10
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 20
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 160
Clothing................................ 22
Petrol/diesel........................... 120
Road tax................................ 15
Car Insurance........................... 40
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Car parking............................. 65
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 5
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 21
Buildings insurance..................... 9
Contents insurance...................... 9
Life assurance ......................... 18
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 5
Haircuts................................ 11
Entertainment........................... 10
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 11
Total monthly expenses.................. 1053

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 150000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 2000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 152000

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 100000...(250)......4.2
Total secured & HP debts...... 100000....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
alliance and leiceste..........7000......219.......7.9
cahoot.........................1000......30........0
egg............................7800......234.......0
natwest........................3400......170.......0
natwest........................5000......150.......0
mbna...........................12800.....381.......0
halifax........................6000......180.......0
Total unsecured debts..........43000.....1364......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,632
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,053
Available for debt repayments........... 579
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 1,364
Amount short for making debt repayments. -785
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 152,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -100,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -43,000
Net Assets.............................. 9,000

downnotout

Firstly, hope he stays? what do you mean by that?
Secondly this is a joint mess so its only right he takes some of the burden
Thirdly can you work out a SOA statement of affairs (there is links at the top of this forum) then we can have a better understanding of your circumstances and can advise on the best route to take.
*Sending you hugs* Light bulb moments are usually the most depressing time of your life, once everything is out and in the open you can start working on a solution.
good Luck.

hitabrickwall_2

Thank you for replying.

I have done this before but when I was younger and he said then he would not stand by me again. It is the lies he can't stand.

I have just completed the online cccs survey and am wrung out now! Hate seeing the figures in front of me and also finding out dmp would last 9 years is a bit of a kicker!

I will do my soa tomorrow.

Thanks so much again

downnotout

I am sure things will work out, you say you did this once before? Did your partners business fail before or did you have a baby before? I know you must be blambing yourself for this current circumstances, but surely your partner is not naive and knows that money has been tight? Apart of which is his responsibility?
Things always look gloomy at first but you can work something out I am sure xxx

downshifter

I'm so sorry, it must be so hard for you. What has the money gone on? Is it personal stuff for you or household, food, utility bills etc. Your husband shares responsibility for these too (presumably he used gas or ate food too) so I don't understand why you feel it is all your fault. Are you trying to protect him from any further disappointment after his business failed? He's not a child any more.

When you have your big talk with him, don't approach it as if it's all your fault, because that allows him to agree with you. It's a joint thing so you should always say 'we' , not 'I' when you're discussing it, and follow through with actions that are on both of you, then it will be a problem shared and therefore halved and could make your marriage massively stronger.

I got into debt by buying household things, stuff for the children, paying for school trips etc, my husband never agreed with the things I bought, he thought they were luxuries so allowed me to feel guilty about the debt as if it was luxuries I had bought for myself. If he had shared it all with me more, I wouldn't have had the credit card debt I built up. I subsequently left him as I couldn't stand the guilt he piled on me all the time, and have since repaid it all. None of which helps you at all, but basically, don't take it all on yourself!

shadow4

Hi try not to worry about telling your hubby and do it sooner rather than later so u can get it out the way and stop worrying. I hid how much we were in debt from my hubby even hiding letters and disconnecting the phone coz we were getting loads of calls from debt collectors but he found out eventually and it was much better out in the open. We worked through the mess together and ended up going bankrupt and getting our house repossessed. We have now made a fresh start and sort our finances out together. He was mad at the time - more annoyed that i didnt tell him how bad things were but we have worked things out and i no longer dread the post or the telephone ringing. Sometimes you cannot help getting in a bad situation i lost my job and got another one but it was for much less money and our mortgage payments were going up every month and something had to give i didnt want to worry him coz he was working long hours and i thought stupidly i could sort it out on my own but i was wrong, your hubby has a right to know and i know how scared you will be about telling him but at least you will not have to lie anymore. Good luck X

miss_empty_piggy

I'm so sorry to hear of your situation hitabrickwall. I totally agree with Shadow 4, better to know what you're dealing with rather than the anticipation of not knowing. The not knowing is a killer. You should be really proud of yourself as you've faced up to your financial problems and know exactly what you're dealing with. I also agree that you have to face the situation together. Sometimes life deals difficult times and can knock you sideways, if you are a family, this has happened to you all, and together you must face it. My partner was not so understanding and felt himself devoid of all responsibility of our joint situation, despite the fact that he did not pay any of the day to day bills, including when I was on maternity leave and had no pay, he never contributed to the household expenditure. We always had separate bank accounts, he paid the council tax and any car needs or holidays (but not spending money). I paid for everything else, the mortgage, all the bills, the food, kids clothes, school trips, petrol etc etc etc. We are separated now (largely unrelated to the finances - he was just mean in every aspect), however, he now lives alone and is realising just how difficult it is to balance the books (although I think he'd find it even harder to do with our two young children.) If I were to be with someone new I would do things very differently. I always found it very difficult to discuss matters of money and am fiercley independent, but when there are two of you, you have to do things together, including talking about where the money goes and what's important to you both. Pride is not important, I am sure that your partner will understand that you as a family are important enough to sort through these hard times together, rather than "sticking to his word". Thinking of you. x

hitabrickwall_2

edited first message to add soa

Fiddlestick

hitabrickwall wrote: »

edited first message to add soa

It looks like you are paying several credit cards that have a 0% APR, is that correct?

If so, why are you making these payments when you could be paying the debt that is charging interest?

RAS

Hi

Youn appear to have only one income but expenditure for the whole household.

You need to do either a whole household SOA with both incomes or just your income with your partion (prorata) of the household expenditure. if your OH earns more than you, then you will not be allowed to paty half the household expenditure.

hitabrickwall_2

Hi sorry

I am in work so don't know what the apr's are. None of them are 0% sorry I filled it in wrong.

The figures I have put in are half of all bills including mortgage.