Help Ive had a relapse...

MS_Kitten

Hi,

Sorry to report guys, I stopped posting for one weekend and by Monday i was back to my old ignoring debts ways.

Things have got from bad to worse because now my basic bank account with Yorkshire Bank is being closed as i went overdrawn (direct debit) and it was my third strike.

Why am i such a financial failure? Why have i done this to myself?

Im not looking for symaphy. I got myself here living beyond my means and borrowing to support myself. I did this. It just sucks trying to clean up the wreckage in the aftermath of it all.

It really bugs me that the goverment just bails the banks out when they get into trouble but when i get myself into trouble Im hounded by these companies.

Whats worse is that i work so hard and am taxed on that then that tax money paid off the banks debts!

Im just sick of it all.

Rant over. Thanks for reading. Enjoy your weekend. Just needed to get it off my chest!

x

dancingfairy

Hi Ms Kitten :hello: A couple of thoughts from me:
1) it would have taken a while to get into debt so it's going to take a little while to recondition yourself and get the hang of a new way of life.
2) the banks have lots of selling and marketing skills to help them sell to us - like Martin says - none of us have had consumer skills training and certianly many of us never had any financial skills training from school or otherwise - so it's no wonder we sometimes struggle
3) I saw a great quote on someone's signature the other day that said it was from a japanese version that said something like fall down 7 times, stand up 8 times.
4) maybe recheck your budget and try and work out why you keep going overdrawn so you can stop the problem.
Good Luck with it all.
df

andrea1968_2

When you fall of your bike you stand up get back on and start pedalling like mad back to where you want to be. This is no different, at least you've recognised that its a problem and you just have to get back up again.

I think that if we could go back to the old fashioned way of getting a pay packet at the end of each week and putting your savings under the matress a lot of us would be able to control our finances a lot better and the banks could whistle. :mad:

Spending with a debit/credit card doesn't seem like real money and that's how I ended up in a mess. Its psychological if you physically have to hand over the pounds you know it won't be in your account anymore .

You'll be fine - take it as another reminder and get back pedalling!!!

bottleofred

Hi Ms Kitten,

Relapses are normal from time to time. The important thing is to learn from it and try not to have another. Just remember how bad you felt when you posted this and it should spur you on.

Good luck and keep trying

Hannah_10

I honestly don't think anyone clears thier debts smootly all the way, no sooner had I sorted out a repayment plan for the rent arrears (as important as debts come) I ignored it and bought a car, thus missing my first payment!

You're not alone in not being a saint, few of us are. The more you allow guilt and self-punishment to take over your mind the less objective you get and the more you muck up. That sounds all wrong because you think if you feel terrible about something then you wont do it again don't you- well that's wrong (as Weight Watchers and other diet groups have learned and now promote). What you need to do is write it off as that yes you did that, but that today is another day and get back on with your money-diet as if the money-binge yesterday never happened. That attitude relieves you of all the unneccesary stress you add for no reason. Remember that guilt is a total waste of time and never ever achieves anything.

So clear your head of guilt (even if that feels unnatural) and make tomorrow a fresh start again. Just like a dieter the day after a beer and curry blowout. Let it be and go forward positively.

If you find the guilt and avoidance cycle are starting to define you then it's not impossible you're heading into a little bit of depression and a frank chat to a good mate for an outside perspective would be a good plan.

You can do it Hon. Pop your percentage debt cleared in your signature for further inspiration too maybe?

Faltering steps forward are still steps forward!!!