Help! Is there anything we can do to get out of this mess?

Nitha

To be honest if I were in your situation I'd be tempted to sell up and rent. I appreciate this is not for everyone, however it is a much better option that going bankrupt (in which you'd be likely to have to sell anyway). Long term renters are so desirable nowadays you find you get great deals and long term contracts (I for one managed to get a 3 bed home in the Midlands for £525 PCM with council tax included).

Other than that there are smaller cuts you can back that will take longer to repay the debts but will be less extreme. The advice already given is great. The main thing is you have to change your way of thinking - none of us 'deserve' anything, we choose to spend our money in certain places and if we choose too many areas then we get into debt. To keep out of debt we need to choose one thing in lieu of another, so would you rather have a holiday or would you rather have the kids after school clubs etc?

Verbatim

Hi Moi,

I agree about not remortgaging. Very bad idea to turn unsecured debt to secured! And it gives you a big new debt for the life of the mortgage.
The main way I found to reduce expenditure was the groceries budget, and this is true for most people.
I'd suggest making a meal plan. Some say plan a week but I do it for a month at a time as it gives more flexibility and it gives you confidence that you have enough food until next payday, and you can switch meals as circumstances dictate. Obviously you'll need to top up fresh fruit and veg so allow for that. Plan the meals on what you have in the freezer and cupboards at the moment. Success is spending as little as possible. In order to minimize top ups you could cook a huge batch of (for eg) ratatouille. Courgettes, aubergines peppers & onions are cheap right now and add a few tins of value/basic toms and there you are. Freeze in batches and you have veg for meals, a sauce for spaghetti, (you could add olives, capers and anchovies and grate cheese on top for putanesca), or put sliced spuds on top and cook in oven with a cheese sauce for veg moussaka, or mashed spuds and cheese for veg shepherd's pie (could add carrots in those cases if have). Try value/basic brands. They are often exactly the same as stuff in own brand packaging, OJ, tinned toms for eg. I prefer sainsbury's basics mozzarella (47p!) and although I have no debts now can't bring myself to spend more than necessary for groceries. I'd rather spend it on stuff I want to do.

On upping income could you have a lodger or take foreign students for a while? Depending on where you live you might be able to have a Mon night to Thurs night lodger where s/one lives too far from work to commute daily. Now during summer most language schools are looking for host families. You could make inroads into your debt using these savings and the others suggested.

Gill247

Moi_63 wrote: »

Yes, it is family allowance and tax credits. My husband applied for DLA but was rejected..

I would try applying for DLA again. A couple of years ago DWP were in such a mess with a backlog of claims that it was standard practice to autotmatically reject claims the first time. When people appealed the decision this is when it was looked at in more detail. This happened to my Grannie when she made a claim when she was first diagnosed with cancer. Becuase I worked in DWP at the time I went and spoke to the DLA team and they explained the process. So she applied again and was successful! The extra money has been so helpful for paying her increased heating bills, taxis to hospital appointments and increased food bills so she can eat healthy.
It might be worth your husband appealing the decision / applying again. As someone else has stated fill out the forms completely remembering to detail all of his conditions / ailments.

Moi_63

Ames wrote: »

Please, don't add to the mortgage. Given that you've already got a big secured loan I'd guess you've consolidated before and like most of us just run the cards etc back up again. In the long run it really doesn't make sense, and will cost you more.

Yes, we discovered this. It wasn't intentional though. After a few months of paying the secured loan we fell into the habit of using the cards for the last week or so of the month.

How long ago was your husband turned down for DLA? Did you get help filling the forms in? It's really difficult to know how to word things and what the questions really mean. For instance, the one about how far you can walk on level ground. That's not including some ways of walking with crutches, and it doesn't include any time walking in pain or discomfort, or if you get out of breath, or if fatigue would come later.

It was around two years ago. He didn't get any help, it was a struggle to get him to apply as he tries to make out like there is nothing wrong with him.

Instead of making international calls could you use skype? From what I understand it's like a phone that goes through your computer and it's free.

I'm not sure. I mean, we have broadband with free international calls and free 01 and 02 calls. We would still need broadband for Skype so I'm not sure if there would be any real benefit to be honest.

Clothing. Do you have an outlet place near you? The 'designer' outlet near me has a Clark's in it. For kids out of school wear then I'm sure they'll be fine in charity/ebay/car boot/freegle stuff, if they're anything like I was at that age they'll only be out the door two minutes before they're so messy you can't tell what they're wearing!

We never pay full price for clothing. We always go to outlets or the Next sale for kids clothes.

Why are you paying motor insurance separate to car insurance?

Oops! My mistake.

Childrens parties, you can pick up loads of good stuff at Poundland. And for adults for that matter, I love getting books from there as they're usually hardback and look really expensive! And I've had good fairly new release cds from there too.

I agree. My husband usually starts picking stuff up in the January sales for the year. Not OTT, just the odd thing here and there.

For the food shopping try doing it online. You'll have to pay a few pounds for delivery, but it really stops the impulse buying. Make a list of what you need and stick to it. Batch cooking from scratch really doesn't have to take much time at all, throw a load of stuff into a big slow cooker, and it's ready by evening. If you make twice as much as you need and freeze portions then on another night you just have to defrost them and cook. Bulk out meals with lentils, beans, etc to make them stretch and cut down on the meat. You can get cheap cuts of meat and done in a slow cooker they're lovely. Buy meat from a butcher, it's usually cheaper. Buy big to save money - the huge sacks of pasta are much better value, especially for a family. There's loads of ways to cut down! Also, dropping a brand and trying value stuff, some of it's actually healthier because it doesn't have all the crap put into it to make it taste nice.

Food shopping is becoming really expensive. It is noticeable how much less you get in your trolley for the same price. We go mainly to Asda and I'm finding it even expensive there.

I'll cook in bulk on a weekend, I try to whenever I can. During the week I don't even manage to sit down before 8.00pm

Moi_63

WASHER wrote: »

Let us know what they say tomorrow.

Sleep well.

WASHER.x.

Well, the telephone call was around 20 -30 minutes long. We went through another SoA (modified slightly thanks to the feedback on here) and we have a telephone appointment with someone in a weeks time to go over our options.

My husband is pushing to try to pay off an Ikea storecard (thanks to Ames' suggestion) before things 'kick off'. It seems to make little difference in the scheme of things but I guess it can't hurt.

coldstreamalways

Hi, I'm no expert on these DMPs but I want to wish you luck, some people on here have paid back a staggering amount of debt. I am a (self proclaimed) expert (!) on groceries though and although it's just me and OH, we both work full time ( I work 8-5 during the week, plus 10-2 on weekends), we can do a weekly shop for £60 and that's on a "luxury" week! That is half of your bill and I know we don't have children but I'm confident that we could drop some more brands and achieve that for an extra person as well!

The Old Style board is excellent and even if you do end up going bankrupt, budgeting like this will help you never get into the debt again.

Now if only I could get OH to eat rice I think I could shave another £30 off the potato bill:rotfl:

Malky

coldstreamalways wrote: »

I am a (self proclaimed) expert (!) on groceries though and although it's just me and OH, we can do a weekly shop for £60 and that's on a "luxury" week!

Expert on groceries at £60 per week? There's just myself and OH too and we spend on average £40 per week without even trying. A week with toiletries etc and the odd luxury thrown in doesn't even go over £50.

laurasavon

Have you spoken to Macmillan, they said to me they can give grants for a break away when hubbys chemo has finished or a grant for new clothes

Can you claim for hubby on the critical illness policy?

Eager_Elephant

Hi

Do your children get meals provided at after school club/childminder etc?

I have to agree with another suggestion about using a slow cooker, we brought one from Tesco for £10 and it has been really good. We have an added complication in that I am vegetarian and no one else is.

DH (Dear Husband) and I take it in turns to make tea as well as the children having a go with supervision 1 night a week. We were relying on processed foods such as chicken in breadcrumbs and en croute which we just heated up but it did cost a lot of money.

I started using the slow cooker, I would put everything in first thing in the morning, leave it on low and when we got home I just had to quickly do some potatoes or rice. It worked brilliantly and was much healthier.

Unfortunately DH is not organised enough in the morning to use the slow cooker so we usually have to eat later in the evening while he cooks something.

The above has changed recently as I have cut down my hours at work but if I am going to be busy on my day off I still use the slow cooker and then I don't have to worry.

There are 3 adults and 2 children in our family and we spend about £300 per month all in which includes top ups in the week of bread, milk and fruit.

Sometimes I buy extra milk on the monthly shop and freeze it until we need it, you just have to remember to get it out!!
Or could you use milk in cartons which keep for ages, I have soya milk and I just put a new one in the fridge when the other one runs out.

I think the concern people showed with you having a DMP through CCCS is that all creditors have to be treated equally so if you manage to cut back here and there and want to pay off a smaller debt they won't be very happy.

I suggest you go with them for the DMP, live on the SOA they have set and see how it goes for 6 months. Obviously you could start cutting back but then there is no rush. If after 6 months things are going great then you could either increase your payment to everyone or administer your own DMP until you are able to start clearing the debts more.

EE

WAASPY

have a read into your life insurance policy as it may pay out on a critical illness , if not what ever you do don't cancel it even if it goes up as speaking from experience its almost impossible to get another one.

also speak to MACMILLAN as they are brilliant!


gl