Fathers obligations?!

fiscalfool

Hi,

My partner and I are not married and have a house in both names. We also have a son.

We are currently experiencing relationship difficulties, and I'm keen to understand as a father what my responsibilities are should the relationship fail?

Please note, I am not trying to get out of paying what is due, and fair. I just want to ensure I am correctly informed before anything happens.

I know that I shall have to make maintenance payments, which is not a problem.

My main question is the house. Neither of us can afford it on our own, and would have to sell it. We are not married. Am I legally obliged to still provide accommodation for my partner and our son?

My only reason for asking is that we are both in financial difficulties and we both need to know where we are in terms of cashflow.

Thanks

gratefulforhelp_2

I'm sorry I can't offer advice on the financial, but I hope you will both get some help in resolving your difficulties before you call your relationship over?

AnxiousMum

Agree with the above poster - if you are still together, and are having problems, have you thought about involving some third party help to try and get through this rough time? This would be of the most benefit to your son If your problems are financial - have you looked at the debt free wannabe board and the old style moneysaving boards? They might be of some help to you to get through this.

Do you have parental rights? Is your name on the birth certificate?

With regards to the house - fathers have been made to allow the ex and child/ren to live in the family home until the child reaches the age of majority - but this is usually done in a divorce settlement - not sure how unmarried partners are dealt with here in the UK.

In terms of child support, you can expect to pay 15% of your income in child support, but just as importantly, make sure that you get some access arranged that means you get to continue to build a meaningful relationship with your child.

PlayingHardball

I 'third' the suggestion of trying to resolve problems now before its too late.

I would also suggest you seek legal advice, use a free 30 minute session with a solictor. I don't think there are many of us qualified enough to answer your question about the financial implication to you, other then tell you what the CSA require a percentage of your net salary as Anxiousmum correctly stated.

flea72

depending on when your son was born, you might not have automatic parental responsibility. (ie only if born after 12/03 and your name is on the birth certificate)

as for what your obligations are. yes you are expected to provide a roof over the childs head. as your property is in joint names, unless your OH agrees to selling the house then you will have to take them to court to force them out. this is an issue aside from your child, which would be another matter

it could be that you then go to court in relation to your son, and they say your son has the right to stay in the property, until say he leaves f/t education, which then means mum gets to stay too, at which point you sell the house, and both take your share then

also if you dont have parental responsibility, there is nothing you can do to stop your OH from stopping you seeing your child, changing their name, or totally cutting you out, and even if you do come to some visitation arrangement, you arent classed as next of kin, so you arent able to take your own child to the drs/hospital, attend school meetings, or any other mundane thing you have taken for granted up til now

honestly, splitting up and dealing with kids in the equation, is so much harder, than trying to sort out the problems you have now, when you are still fairly amicable. its so much easier to try and get your relationship back on track, rather than have to deal with all the worry, should a split occur

F

DUTR

Jarvy wrote: »

Hi,

My partner and I are not married and have a house in both names. We also have a son.

We are currently experiencing relationship difficulties, and I'm keen to understand as a father what my responsibilities are should the relationship fail?

Please note, I am not trying to get out of paying what is due, and fair. I just want to ensure I am correctly informed before anything happens.

I know that I shall have to make maintenance payments, which is not a problem.

My main question is the house. Neither of us can afford it on our own, and would have to sell it. We are not married. Am I legally obliged to still provide accommodation for my partner and our son?

My only reason for asking is that we are both in financial difficulties and we both need to know where we are in terms of cashflow.

Thanks

Not sure why you are getting so many scare story replies, as you were 15% net is all you have to fork up, any extra costs will have to be obtained somehow by the PWC, there is plenty of help about, so don't be worrying about it too much, you do have to think about yourself as chances are nobody else will, and living in a cardboard box is not going to leave you in good position for a good week's work and thus coughing up maintainance contribution.
Good luck to all of you, you will all need it.

fiscalfool

Thank you all for your replies, they are most helpful.

To answer some questions:

1) Yes, I'm on the birth certificate and have parental responsibility
2) We are not married
3) House is in joint names
4) We are attending Relate on a weekly basis, and have been for about 5 sessions now.
5) With regards to financial implications ... we are currently in a DMP with PayPlan.

Essentially neither of us could individually afford the current house. We would have to sell it and move on, and have both agreed to that.

I'm not being negative, but just looking ahead at what my options are longer term. I know that I'd have to pay 15% net. But was unsure of the "providing a house" business, since there are so many conflicting bits of information.

IF it does come to it, then I shall speak to a solicitor. But just want to ensure I do what is right for me and him.

gratefulforhelp_2

We are attending Relate on a weekly basis, and have been for about 5 sessions now.

Good luck with this. Let's hope you don't need to worry about the other stuff.

flea72

Jarvy wrote: »

I know that I'd have to pay 15% net. But was unsure of the "providing a house" business, since there are so many conflicting bits of information

both parents are equally responsible for providing a roof over the childs head, so it wont just fall to yourself

however if you sell up, you may well find that you are seen as having made yourselves intentionally homeless, and therefore wont get any help from the LHA

F

fiscalfool

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

We are attending Relate on a weekly basis, and have been for about 5 sessions now.

Good luck with this. Let's hope you don't need to worry about the other stuff.

Me too ... but things don't seem to be improving at all. I know it will take time, and hope it is sorted though.

flea72 wrote: »

both parents are equally responsible for providing a roof over the childs head, so it wont just fall to yourself

however if you sell up, you may well find that you are seen as having made yourselves intentionally homeless, and therefore wont get any help from the LHA

F

That's useful to know thank you.

I think, we would probably end up with her going to stay with a relative to keep her bills down until she get back on her feet, and I would rent somewhere. The debts make it such that we couldn't afford to keep the property individually, not sure if it would repay the mortgage if sold.

PlayingHardball

I don't want to be doom and gloom, you have enough on your plate I'm sure, but you are after advice and I hope the following info helps in your decisions.

Which is, I would like to point out that when my ex and I first decided to go our separate ways, he 'offered' to split the equity remaining on the house 50/50. Had we done that, I couldn't have put a roof over the childrens heads.

I don't want to go into my personal situation, but I can assure you we didn't end up splitting the equity, I received a greater percentage of the joint remaining equity as I was the PWC and also had lower earning capacity as a result of various factors. Mind you, it took 2 1/2 years of solicitors and ended in 2 court hearings (the ex settled days before the third and final hearing) to determine what the equity split eventually was.

Just bear that in mind should it end up that you eventually sell the house. I've known quite a few friends going through divorce, and it has always ended up that the PWC received the higher equity split as a result of having the children and putting a roof over their heads.

Good luck on the relate though, if I were you I would put 1000% into trying to sort things out with your partner.