A church wedding

angelcakes_smw

hello,

I was wondering if anyone could help me here. We have decided on a church wedding (for FH) but I am not and never have been a big church goer so I dont really know how to go about organising it all. I found a church nearby which I really like but when I rang them this morning they told me we werent in their parish and we had to ring the church which served our community. I have looked at both of the other churches online and they just dont seem to be what we were hoping for, to keep costs down we were going to hire the church hall for after the ceremony and just have a big picnic and BBQ there to celebrate instead of paying a fortune for a fancy meal which we wouldnt enjoy anyway, the original church we picked could accomdate this but the other two cant so how do we go about being able to marry in the other church? I have been reading that they let you do this but only for certain circumstances...how can we get this church?

all_change

My understanding is that you need to speak to your actual parish church, even if you intend get married elsewhere - it's related to Reading the Banns (announcing that you intend to get married), which is a requirement of getting married.
This site might be useful:
http://www.cofe.anglican.org/lifeevents/weddings
hth

Kildare

Hi Angelcakes - also check out this page which tells you which churches you can get married in http://www.yourchurchwedding.org/youre-welcome/more-churches-to-choose-from.aspx

We looked into having a church wedding (and are now happily having a civil :cool:) and found a lovely church and reverend who was happy to have us although we lived outside the parish. We just had to attend for 6 months first. Unfortunately they are re-doing the floor next year and it won't be ready in time. So we tried another nearby church, however they said as we didn't live in the parish they wouldn't accept us. I think it can be completely down to the local vicar, may depend on how busy the parish is and of course if you have six months left before your wedding in which to attend the church and have the banns read.

I recommend reading through the two websites and then getting on the phone to the vicar / church warden for a chat

MustStopSpending23

To get married in a Church, you have to have a qualifying connection, i.e. you live in the Parish / were christened there etc.

mrs_B_5

Myself and my partner are having a church wedding. We're getting married in a church which is in a small village near Hull despite living near Sheffield.

We contacted the vicar as we wanted to get married in the church as it is where my Grandma is buried after we lost her last July. It is the closest we can get to having her there. I spent a lot of time in the village as a child growing up but don't have a specific connection (never christened there, never lived in the village, parents never lived in the village...).

We have had to become regular worshippers at the church (roughly once a month) and the vicar, as well as the entire village, has been amazing! He's been very understanding of my partners odd working patterns (he's a chef). We do have to have our banns read at the church within the parish where we live. We really feel like a part of the village and its a really lovely feeling! I actually think we might carry on going to church after the wedding, unlike a lot of people who have a church wedding.

VICXEN83

I got married in a church and they were lovely and bent over backwards for us, we didnt get charged a penny for anything but we have been regular church goers now for a few years there so the church is special for us. I can understand why vicars dont want to marry people from outside their parish in a church when the people blatantly either dont believe in God or who have no intention on ever going back to the church after their marriage. People should get married in a church because they want to say their vows in front of God not because it looks pretty in pictures.

Rant over, its just something that really irritates me.

angelcakes_smw

thanks everyone! I agree VICXEN83 but as I said it's more for my FH than me and if I am going with my 2nd potion then I'd quite like it to look pretty too :0)

Gloomendoom

amy_forster wrote: »

Myself and my partner are having a church wedding. We're getting married in a church which is in a small village near Hull despite living near Sheffield.

We got married in a church near Sheffield despite living 100 miles away. It wasn't quite straightforward as I have been married before. We did have to join the church though, and attend about once a month for six months... more when it got nearer the day. We still go when we are up there visiting Mrs G's relatives.

It's a lot easier if you attend church anyway.

kr15snw

From what I know if the church says they won't marry you if your out of their parish then they are within their rights to do it

All you can do is talk to the vicar and ask very nicely, but a lot won't marry you.

There's a church in our city that is by far the most stunning church in the city. BUT the vicar won't even consider you if your not in his parish and you must be a regular church goer. One of my friends went to church for 6 months BEFORE asking if they could marry there as he is that strict. I've known of many people who wanted to get married there but just were not allowed!