Bankruptcy...will we go to jail?

ALLMYFAULT

will do...

just read a thread about writing on the forms the reason for bankrupsy... can i ask for some help....

can i write the truth on my husbands form? something like...

(coming from hubby...) My reason for bankrupsy was due to my wifes mental health problems My wife suffers with OCD and is now currently receiving treatment. This has majorly contributed to my debts as before i had minimal managable debts and always made my repayments on time. In 2007 i made this mistake of putting a few home essential items on a credit card and then due to my wifes mental ilness it became out of control. I am also parlty responsible as i should have stopped the spending but its hard when someone you love is out of control...

argh sorry its terrible and doesnt make sense... does anyone have any idea how i can write this for his form? i need to make sure the OR understands its my fault.

UnderPressure

mmmmmmmmmm Im not sure about this hang on and keep an eye on this thread Im sure someone with more knowledge than me will be along soon

Well don BTW admitting there is a problem is the first step in resolving it

Chin up it will get better you'll see

debtinfo

You should always put the truth, whatever that truth is, it is always best to be 100% honest, You will have an interview during the bankruptcy at which time you will have the opportunity to get it all out and give a proper explanation

dancingfairy

Your explanation sounded o.k to me but you need to make it clear how your problems led to your husbands bankruptcy as it didn't quite seem to follow - did he try and pay off some of your debt? did he take on more of the household bills whilst you were struggling? That sort of thing would help make it a bit more clear.
I don't have any direct expeience of bankruptcy so I am sure others will be able to advise better in that respect.
With the how long does it take to go bankrupt it really does depend on what system your court uses- some have a turn up on the day system with your forms and money where it can take anything for 5 mins to 2 hours depending on how many people there are and whether the judge wants a chat to ask a few questions, other courts have a booking system so that would then depend on how long their waiting list is.
Good luck with it all and I am glad you are getting help with the spending and I hope with bankruptcy you get a fresh start.
df

script

Not only will you not go to Jail.

But tell the OR or the Examiner (the people in charge of your bankruptcy) about your mental health problems.

It would be useful to get a letter from your doctor explaining it all.

They will be understanding because they'll now know about your "situation"

And please don't worry, I'm a natural worrier too - and over the months I have received such great help from the people on the forum.

So, if you have a concern, a worry or just a thought - just ask here.

Like me you'll get all the help you need.

RuthnJasper

Allmyfault - well done you for having faced up to the fact that you have a problem and for having the courage to begin the process of sorting your life out. That's a very brave thing to do, and often the most difficult step to take on the road to recovery.

I myself have mental health issues (though not OCD), and for years and years I hid from the truth and it was horrendous to suddenly realise how bad things were. I felt utterly sick and really hated myself. I understand how you feel at the moment. But please remember that you are only human. We all make mistakes, some worse than others. Now you have made a decision to face reality and that really IS something to be proud of yourself for.

I went for an IVA (Individual Voluntary Arrangement), which was identified as the best option for me by the Citizens' Advice Bureau. It's an alternative to bankruptcy, but is not the right path for everyone, so I'm not saying you should definitely go for it. The CAB can help with free advice. Here is a link to the online CAB information on IVAs: http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/your_money/money_management_index_ew/help_with_debt_index_ew/individual_voluntary_arrangements_ivas.htm

I'll be honest - it was a horrible process. BUT nothing about it was worse than the initial realisation of the state of my finances and the awful "OhdearGodwhatwillIdomylifeisover..." thoughts that you have at the beginning.

I still have a couple of years to go with the IVA, but I found it incredibly helpful. Life is still far from perfect, but I am happier now than I have been for many, many years. Simply knowing that you are now being honest with yourself and are actively working towards a proper solution to these problems just helps.

You are still the lovely lady that your husband married - and he is still your man. It isn't helpful to beat yourselves up over money - you can support each other through this and love is free.;)

I agree with the posters here that advise complete honesty. I realise that it can be embarrassing but, believe me, it's always better in the long run. Even if you get away with a "little" lie, in time you will torture yourself wondering if anyone will ever find out. It sounds like 'clean break' time. Confess all, get the advice you need to make your decisions, and make a completely clean start from these troubles.

I'm sorry if all this sounds a bit 'preachy' - I don't mean it to be. I want to tell you that you ARE going to get through this. One day, all of this will be history and, from my own viewpoint, I know that I am a much stronger person for having been through these troubles. Hopefully you will be too.

I really don't think anyone is going to put you in prison, please don't torture yourself. I know I did the same when I was in the position you are now in - but you are going to be OK. This is the first step on the road to a happier, debt-free future. It might not be easy, but you ARE heading in the right direction.

There's lots of help and support to be found here on MSE - have a good old browse through the forum and read threads from people in similar positions to yourself. It doesn't always have to be 100% financial - lots of pople here will be happy to send comforting words and virtual hugs if you just need to sound off to a friendly "ear". Please feel free to PM me if you ever want a rant, I don't mind at all.

You and your husband are going to be OK. But it will be that tinier bit easier if you confess all from the beginning. There are often more people in the same situation than you think - and the CAB/Courts/whoever have seen and heard it all before. No-one will point and laugh at you behind your back.

Keep smiling (if you can). You'll make it.

:beer:
x

Classylady2010_2

All you can do is tell the truth to them, just like you have told on here, good luck and I hope things go better for you both
hugs
cl

ALLMYFAULT

the or is gonna think im nuts.... my spending was that strange tho i gotta tell the whole truth so they can make sense of it all. will keep thread updated. i think i am gonna have to wait a bit longer and both of us go br at the same time as otherwise it will be too hard as our finances are all shared and i cant figure how to break it down for both of us seperatly.

i found a link on here about average costs for a SOA but i cant find it now... anyideas where i found it...it was in a table format? just trying to figure out if our expenses are average or high etc

wok_boy

ALLMYFAULT wrote: »

the or is gonna think im nuts.... my spending was that strange tho i gotta tell the whole truth so they can make sense of it all. will keep thread updated. i think i am gonna have to wait a bit longer and both of us go br at the same time as otherwise it will be too hard as our finances are all shared and i cant figure how to break it down for both of us seperatly.

i found a link on here about average costs for a SOA but i cant find it now... anyideas where i found it...it was in a table format? just trying to figure out if our expenses are average or high etc

Post your SOA up using the following link:

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

At the bottom select MSE format.

Doucam

Allmyfault, I don't have advice as you already have had some fab advice here, but I did just want to say please try not to panic, you won't be sent to jail, and to echo what the others have said, be honest and tell the truth, no matter how bizarre it may sound to you, and you may think the OR will think it is going to sound strange, but remember the OR's see lots and lots of cases every day, and have probably seen stranger or more complicated ones than yours.

I am so glad you found this forum, and any questions you have just come on and ask, don't sit and worry. x