I need help (started gambling)

Rallya

I've read a few posts on here about gambling and the debts people have gotten into with it. In the past I could never understand how people could get addicted to gambling, but I think I am heading that way myself.

I owe approx £28k to my creditors (none of it with gambling) and pay them off at an agreed amount each month at the moment, but a few weeks ago I joined up with Quidco to make some extra money and started doing all the gambling cashback offers, even though I had never gambled before, just the odd pound on the National Lottery etc.

Anyway, everything was fine until I won £367 on a bingo site, i kept thinking I would win more so kept going, lost what I had won and also about another £200 of my own money over the past few weeks...this was money I had made on ebay and any extra in my bank accounts to the point I now have approx £3 in my bank to last me over a week until I next get paid.

I am so sick with worry right now, I just dont know what to do. I keep saying I will never gamble again but I am SO worried I have become addicted and as soon as I get the urge and some more money I'll give into it and gamble again.

Are there any ex gamblaholics who can share their stories with me on how they beat their addiction and what was their motivation etc? Even just some support would be good because right now I feel like a total idiot and failure. It makes me feel sick to think of the money I have gambled away when I could have spent it on something much more worthwhile etc.

I know I have been stupid so I dont need anyone to tell me that, just need to get this out of my system on here

Any help would be appreciated.

Thank you all

Rallya

tomstickland

I make money from bookmaker and casino bonuses and have read a few books on the subject. You can never make any money in the long term from straight forward gambling or betting.

The more you understand about how casinos etc work then the less likely you will be use them. Every time you have a win then that money is coming from someone else who is having a loss. The casino/bookmaker/bingo site earn a few percent of all the money that goes through the system.


Anyway, if you can get a grip on yourself now then a £200 loss can be treated as a harsh lesson. I wouldn't advise looking into money making methods with gambling if you have any problems with addiction etc.

PeachPickle

Hi Rallya,

I think the first thing you should do is withdraw any available money you have in those accounts. No-one's going to call you stupid, it's very easy to do what you've done. The important thing is to learn from it now

I don't really know much about gambling, but I've seen some excellent advice on here from others, I'm sure they'll be along to help

Well done for realising that you've gone too far, try and stay strong :grouphug:

CFC

Only you know whether or not you'll gamble again. Don't worry yourself sick over whether you are 'an addict' or not. You have control over what you do.

The bright side is that you're 'only' £500 down before the light went on and you saw what you were doing. Why not write down the way you feel now, keep it somewhere safe, and then if you are ever tempted to gamble again, take the book out and re-read it? I think that will help you to keep on the straight and narrow.

As I'm not an ex-gambler (but have suffered from the gambling of others) that's the only opinion I can offer. Best of luck x

Fran

Perhaps these websites will be useful:-

Gamcare

Gamblers Anonymous

Addictions

awaytogoyet

Rallya - you sound like you've experienced that awful, sick to the pit of your stomach, panic-stricken feeling, quite early on. That comes from realising that you have been playing with 'real' money as opposed to 'virtual' & it is 'real' money you can ill-afford to lose. In the real world, it takes a long time to make that money. CFC's advice about writing how you feel right now is a great idea.

Firstly, the most important thing now is DO NOT try to win that money back! In the long-term you won't & you will only increase your debt much further. Please, please (hard as it is) draw a line under it & walk away right now. Secondly, NEVER use Quidco or any other cash-back site to access gambling sites again - it is a totally unecessary temptation.
You can use a programme to block them. You can also ask the gambling sites to close your Accounts, irreversibly.

Having written down how crap you feel right now and resolved to do the things above - put it down to experience and move on. No point carrying remorse about the past, we can't change it - it's negative baggage!
You are not weak or stupid, lots of people do this - it can be a hard slog trying to survive financially these days & it's not surprising people are attracted to what potentially seems like a way out. Sadly, it is certainly isn't, but at least you've caught it before it gets too far.
None of us are prefect. Put it down to experience - life is a journey, afterall. I believe these experiences ultimately make us stronger & wiser.

Think of your debt in bite-size chunks and slowly you will get there. Use this site for great practical advice about saving & making money & lots of moral support. See this as another journey - a challenge - even something exciting. When you're having a bad day, ring a friend of get on here for more encouragement.
You will make that money up & you will get there.
Lots of luck x

angelatgraceland

You are not stupid by any means-you just made a few mistakes that you are more than aware of now. When you are winning it all seems so easy but when you walk away with nothing you see that there is no such thing as easy money. Close any accounts with online casinos etc and block any emails from them. If you never venture into such places you cannot make the same mistakes again. So you lost about £200 all told-well you got away lucky up by most. open up a savings account instead andwatch the money grow without risk.Give yourself a cheap treat now and then to celebrate the fact that you will never gamble again. A lot of peole who win money end up losing it-if you have to earn it instead you will look after it. dont ever fall for easy money schemes-there are no ways of easy money. If you are ever tempted-just read the original post you put on here-it should flick the light on for you. Keep a diary of how you feel and what you have been doing each time you feel tempted to gamble-you may see a pattern. If you do see a pattern then you need to find a way to break it. I remember when I was about at 16 I had a go at gambling on the onearmed bandits-litterelly only pence. I was winning-kept winning-so I fed it back into the machines hoping for more-guess what? I left with no money. When I left the place I had my lightbulb moment immediately but I think I was very lucky to see it for what it is. Ive not ever gambled since as a result(Im 47 now)apart from an odd pound on the lottery which tots up to about £10 per year!

Bambywamby

When I was a teenager (19) I had a fixation with the horses.
I was gambling away all my wages, taking days off work to sit in the bookies studying form and I even went on to sell my Cds and personal belongings to get money for the bookies.

Gamblers are always chasing that ONE big win that will change everything.
You justify to yourself that as soon as your luck changes and you make a few pounds back you will quit so at least you walk away recouping some of your losses.
It never happens - if it does - its such a rarity these people make the local papers for being so "lucky".
And thats all gambling is LUCK with the odds stacked totally against you.
The betting shops and sites are there to take your money off you as quickly as possible, sites in particular are dangerous as it feels like toy money as opposed to handing over real cash as you do in a betting shop.

My lightbulb money happened in the Betting shop one day as I looked outside at the torrential rain, not having a bean left in my pocket after a days losing sequence of 12 races in a row (this was a regular occurence) and realised I had a 70 min walk home to explain to my mother I didn't have her board...some guy called Willy Hill did.
As I got up to leave, feeling incredibly sorry for myself - for the first time I actually took in the betting counter... THREE betting counters and only onepaying out counter. The odds had always been stacked against me, it wasnt my skill or lack of it in picking losers or winners, it wasnt just bad luck that the horses ran badly that day and it wasnt the going on the ground that determined my fortune... it was ALWAYS designed for me to lose.
Thats why the shops have three betting counters for taking bets - they know fools in hundreds will throw their hard earned money into their tills and they have one paying out till because they know only a slight few will make any money back. And thats short lived...the buzz of winning will bring them back to bet their winnings and eventually go home broke and miserable.
From that day onwards I never spent another penny on gambling. I must have lost around £3000 over the course of that year. But I don't regret it as it was one of lifes valuable experiences - you get nothing for nothing.

Gambling is a mugs game - and when you see the light you will be able to walk away and quickly start rebuilding your confidence and finances.

Good Luck xx :T

Rallya

Thank you all so much for these answers, I feel so much better right now. As recommended I am going to write down how i feel about gambling and will look at that and this thread whenever I feel the "urge".

I am also going to take a look at the sites recommended and read them from start to finish.

Again thank you all for your help, if you understood how grateful I am right now for the time you took to reply to my thread it would make your day I'm sure

Rallya xxx

Pobby

As a compulsive gambler in recovery I would strongly advise you to quit NOW!If you have been gambling a short while it will be easier to stop now than develop compulsive behavior where eventually the gambling controls you.May I ask you to have a look at this link.You will find great help and support there . http://www.sfcghub.com/

mrbadexample

I don't think you're addicted. I think you've had your fingers burnt nice and early in your short gambling career. You feel sick, because you've lost money you couldn't afford to. From the "sound" of your post, I'd be surprised if you went near any form of gambling for a good long while.

You obviously know it's a mugs game, but it seems to me you've already seen the light and stopped. Put it down to experience - you've already moved on. :T