Help please: I messed up

Smilerwoman

Hello lovely MoneySavingExperts,

I could do with a bit of help. I joined MSE in February 2009, after having a lightbulb moment and wanted to do something about my relatively small debt. Not massive - about £3,500 at the time - but still something I wanted to sort out.

I adored the message boards and found it incredibly useful. I saved hundreds of pounds and started to make some in-roads on my debt. Everything was great. I felt part of a community and really felt wonderful. I started putting information on about myself - nothing personal, just my occupation and a few things about what I was doing at the weekend etc etc.

But, here's the weird bit. Coupled with that information, and the fact that my previous username had my first name in it somewhere, I had a bit of an issue. A client at work (I'm not saying what I do) developed a weird fixation with me and ended up stalking me. Long story, but I had to go to the police etc etc. It has sort of been resolved now, but that's not really the point. I really didn't want this guy knowing anything about me (and I think he'd googled me and I came up here) so I stopped posting. It's amazing what people can find out about you from the internet. I'm still really scared by him, and it hasn't really been totally fixed.

So I sort of lost touch with my debt busting. I tried, but lots of things 'got-in-the-way'. Things I probably could've solved a lot quicker with help from MSE, mind you. But I just believed that I could sort it out by myself. I couldn't. I just sort of gave up, if I'm honest.

Things aren't horrendous. About a year later-ish, I haven't totally fallen off the wagon. I owe about £600 more than I did, so obviously that's bad, but it's not the worst problem EVER. However, I've had a second LBM and I want to do something about it. I'll explain later what that is and why. I'm going to start a debt free diary in the hope that it might spur me along. I had one before.

The reason I've posted this year is to ask for some help and advice to get me going again. The first problem I've got is that I moved house - upsized. I pay £100 a month more than I did before. I lived in a bit of a hovel, so it really wasn't a bad thing. But obviously I have less money to throw at my debts.

Secondly, as it's a recession, we got our benefits taken off us in work, so I get approx £50 less a month than I did before. So less money, again.

Thirdly, when I was debt-busting before, I felt in control. Being austere wasn't difficult, because I was in that mindset. But when I didn't care (I do now) I made commitments. For example, I'm supposed to be going on holiday in October, but I don't have much spare dough. I don't want to get out of that commitment (though I realise it is probably the most sensible thing to do) because I made a promise. It's a difficult problem.

But I want to DO something about it. Any help that you lovely folks could give would be much appreciated.

gfplux

Do the sensible thing and cancel the holiday. If your friend (who you promised) does not understand your financial situation then that is their problem.

Tixy

Hi and welcome back

(just to check you don't think that same guy will spot you from the info you have posted do you?) people aer such weirdos. Hopefully a harmless one in your case. And glad you got the police involved and things sorted. Anyway moving onwards.

What did you find helped best last time? did you use to do any of the challenges such as the NSD no spend challenge - that it still going and is more popular than ever.

How much do you need to raise for your holiday? maybe set yourself a challenge to raise it all from extra money? by selling things (become an ebay selling addict!), overtime at work if its available, doing online surveys & reviews etc?

Have you started (or re-started) a spending diary. This is the one thing that really makes me think twice, when I stop keeping it I stop caring how much I am spending, when I start up again it really slows down the amount of money I waste.

Have you redone your statement of affairs to see how much you should have for debt each month? Not saying you need to post it up but worth doing if only for you to see.

Oh and well done for coming back

Smilerwoman

Thanks guys. I've set up a Debt Free Diary but I can't link to it, cos I'm a newbie (boo, I used to be an oldie).

It's called Operation Sort Stuff Out. Hope you can help!

andrea1968_2

You need to get your motivation back so just try and remember everything you achieved last time and you'll soon get back into that mindset.

Obviously you've got less cash to throw at the debt so it will take a bit longer but once you get back into it the debts will start dropping again and that in itself will inspire you to carry on and stick at it for the long haul.

Good luck and hopefully your weird follower won't track you down this time and spoil all your hard work.

GeorgeUK

Have you done a new SOA using the SOA calculator?

If you think it is too similar to the presious one, then don't post up all the details. We might be able to spot some stuff that you can tighten up on though.