I seriously need a makeover!

unsavy_with_£

Hi there,

Well I have been lurking around here for a bit but until now have not posted on the site. There are so many inspiring stories and views and I have noticed that the site is used for so many things from sorting problems out to using the site as motivation to deal with debt.

I dont know if this is the right place to post but my aim is to be debt free.

Well I am pregnant and will be dropping soon, I have been stupid with money all my life, its stems from a family who have the attitude of spend spend spend and once that is spent, buy on the never never. I too adopted this attitude but I dont want my baby being bought up this way. On the other side of the coin, my partner is the behave yourself with money as its not worth the stress. We rarely speak about finances as I get stressed, which is silly.

At the moment, I am working but will be giving up work shortly and going on to maternity pay. My pay will be dropping to around 70%, I am currently waiting for the exact figures. Even though all the bills will be covered including monthly debt repayments however will not leave much for me to do my usual spending which on one hand is a very good thing! I suppose this is why I am on here!

My debts are currently like this:
credit card 1 - £5600
loan - £3900
credit card 2 - £2100

I really want to change my habits and I am really good where finding deals are, shopping on a budget, minimizing all the bills where possible, its just my spending on credit which is annoying me!

How can I pull my rains in, focus on actually clearing this debt and not spending on silly things cause I want it or may need it, and being strong enough to declutter the house without keeping unneccessary things.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

NorthernLas

Welcome!

Some suggestions that you can try today:
- Start a spending diary and write down everything that you spend.
- Put your credit cards is a plastic bag and then in a plastic box filled with water and freeze them.
- Decide on a budget for the week and use cash (once it is gone it is gone).

Tixy

Hi and welcome

A couple of ideas that might help you

1) draw up a detailed statement of affairs http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html to show what money you have coming in and going out which will then show how much of a surplus (or shortfall) you have each month. This will also have an added benefit that you can then sure the same info to look at the snowball calculator to see how long it will take to repay your cards at the current rates and how much interest you will pay in that time (if its longer than you think then that might motivate you to cut back and pay off more?)

2) start keeping a spending diary where you write down everything you spend for a few months (even 50p on a can of pop or £1 on a newspaper. Its useful because you can see where your money is going and where you are losing money without realising, but for me I also find if I know I have to write it down it makes me think twice about the purchase. Either try carrying a notebook in your handbag, do a spreadsheet or use www.spendingdiary.com

3) join the monthly no spend day (NSD) challenge on here. This is where people pledge how many NSDs they are hoping to have in the month. https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2564787

4) as your spending is credit based what about leaving your cards at home - or giving them to someone trusted to look after? you could even try the trick of freezing it in a tub of water in the freezer - that way you have the card available for a real emergency but can't just use it easily.

sulkisu

My top tip would be to start by showing this post to your partner - or at least tell him what you have in mind. You need to be able to discuss your finances with each other, and what better/more positive note to start with than this.

unsavy_with_£

Thank you all for the tips, I love the freezing of the cards! I will do the spending diary, at the moment I dont truely know what i spend really and I have to shock myself as I am out of control! Very unsavy!

I know I need to speak to my partner but I find it really hard as at the moment i am negative about it. I just want to do the best for our baby and dont want baby growing up with my attitude.

With the SOA, would it be best to wait for my new wage to come in, then complete?

How would I really determine what type of budget I should have for the week? Whats a neccessity? Whats plain lazy? Whats just an outright - I do not need? Its all about changing my way I think.

I have noticed many people take part in the challenges, how do you all keep up with them? Get into a routine of completing them? Something else I am struggling with - routine of doing things/motivation of continuing to do things.

Thank you so much.

unsavy_with_£

Also I was wondering about Ebay, is it worth selling on there? Could I make money to go towards the debt? However I understand its about also working out profit/fees/postage?

dancingfairy

Hmm. I don't know - maybe think of all the bad things you associate with being this way with money ie arguing with partner, constantly worrying about the next bill, fear of loosing your job and then not being able to repay and then think of all the great feelings you'll get when you've saved up and bought something like a house or a car or a special holiday and being able to completely relax and enjoy it knowing that you've saved so hard for it.
Also think about how much more you can do when you're not overpaying for things - why should you pay more for electric and gas when you can get it cheaper, why not go out for meals with vouchers rather than paying full whack etc. It becomes a game of what can you get and how much can you save off the price.
df