please help....dunno what to do anymore

littleclover

Hi
please can you give me some advice...

I am been thinking about a DMP for a while now...my husband lost his job last year and we have struggled through on my wage...I was undecided about entering into a plan because of the impact it would have on my credit file and because I still have 2 joint loans with my exhusband...both to end soon...
Anyway, sice he hasn't been working, i have had late payments, missed payment extra resulting in me now having 3 defaults on my credit file (as of today), one being a loan I have with sainburys that I forgot was in my and my ex husbands name!

Should I enter into the plan now my credit file is marked and will this have an effect on my ex husbands file if I do and will the joint loan that comes out of his account that I give him money for monthly be included in this....?

I am soooooooooooo fed up and keep alot of it bottled up and I am embarrassed of the state the my finances are in!!!
I can't talk to anyone and each month I try and get through to the next...

I was trying to manage until the two old loans with my ex were paid off but I don't know what to do anymore...I have also got stuck in the payday loans circle....and have been paying 3 debt recovery companies...CAPQUEST, LOWELL AND TRITON!! I have read alot of bad things about those companies on here and I just want to get it sorted now!!!!

PLEASE HELP!!!!!

Happiness6500

The good people will be along shortly , just wanted to offer my support , Its not easy to acknowledge whats going on and bottling it up doesnt help you in the long run. I had what they call my Light Bulb Moment last october and had debts of £22OOO. I can only say the moment I contacted CCCS , that was the best day, but to bear in mind to set up the DMP you really need to know exactly what debt you have and also what your ability to pay is . Some kind person will send you on the link for the SOA , statement of affairs , this is a good starting point and will really get your eyes open to your finances . Thereafter take it to either the CCCs as mentioned above or National Debhelpline and chat things over and find out what your best course of action is . Not sure what happens with joint loans am afraid , but sure they will know. Promise it will be the best call you have ever made .

Good Luck for now and your with friends x

littleclover

Hi

Thanks for your support.....I just want to sort it now...I will do a SOA and the knuckle down to sorting this out....I am stil scred to talk to my husband about it as he is alot younger than me and sometimes doesn't understand how life takes you down wrong roads and how I have made alot of mistakes with money and stresses quite easily.......I'm not patronising him but I got into this mess so I need to sort it.... I work hard and have 2 wonderful kids and I just wanna be a happy worry free Mam again!!!

Happiness6500

You have made the biggest step in admitting the problem, now just take time and baby steps , Well done and promise you will be a worry free mam , Take time and do the SOA , once you have that then see what advice you get here but also speak to one of the Debt charities, they are not looking to fleece you and will tailor your needs to your situation , but you have to be as honest as possible .

Even start a spending diary today . Every time you buy something write it down , over the month make up a table of where you are spending your money, this will be the start of a budget, once you know how much things are costing you ,etc.... you might find you can even start to save money by cutting out things as you go , You will be amazed how many coffees you buy in work , or the sneaky choc bar ha ha. anyway good luck xx

thehog

Well done LittleClover, you have taken the first steps to moving forward and sorting your debt. I know exactly where you are at the moment and I can guarantee it will get better for you once you put your SoA together and get a payment plan that isn't going to leave you having sleepless nights. There are some fantastic people here and I know you will get the advice and support you need. All the best!

Numpty_Monkey

I'm not one of the clever peeps.but

If you have a joint account with your ex they can go after them for the full ammount ( joint gives them 2 targets to for)
and it will affect ex's credit rating

As yours is now shot with deffaults it won't make no real difference to your credit rating.
As you are strugling to repay I would suggest contacting oene of these Non-profit Debt Counsellors' List
and they will be able to give propper advise about how to go about this

Sorry I'm not of much use on the technical stuff

You are heading in the right direction :T

littleclover

I've ha an awful day and to top it off just found one of my little chickens dead with its little friend sitting on top of him peeping as if he was crying.....it really got to me and I guess it's all the stuff in my head about money and stuff getting the better of me!!!!
I have text my ex to ask his thoughts on this and he said to do what i have to and not to worry about him......then reminded me that life is too short to worry about money as look how young my mam was when she died......and that's when this mess began.....when she died!!!!!!

I think....I just wanna make people happy and not leave me like she did and I think buying stuff makes them happy including my children and have learn't the hard way that isn't the case....

I will do an SOA later and get started with this...back to work on wed after 9 weeks on the sick and not looking forward to that either....trying to smile and stuff in my job when you feel like this isn't easy!!!!

Anyway, thought I'd just check in hoping you lot don't give up on me like everyone else usually does!!!!!:(

xxxxx

Sapphire

littleclover wrote: »

I've ha an awful day and to top it off just found one of my little chickens dead with its little friend sitting on top of him peeping as if he was crying.....it really got to me and I guess it's all the stuff in my head about money and stuff getting the better of me!!!!
I have text my ex to ask his thoughts on this and he said to do what i have to and not to worry about him......then reminded me that life is too short to worry about money as look how young my mam was when she died......and that's when this mess began.....when she died!!!!!!

I think....I just wanna make people happy and not leave me like she did and I think buying stuff makes them happy including my children and have learn't the hard way that isn't the case....

I will do an SOA later and get started with this...back to work on wed after 9 weeks on the sick and not looking forward to that either....trying to smile and stuff in my job when you feel like this isn't easy!!!!

Anyway, thought I'd just check in hoping you lot don't give up on me like everyone else usually does!!!!!:(

xxxxx

I'm sure people with a lot more savvy than me will help you out here, but just to convey my sympathies to you.

So sorry about the chicken. Why don't you get her another friend? I know someone who gets her chickens free from an egg-laying place – she takes chickens which would otherwise be disposed of, so doesn't pay for them. They still lay eggs for her regularly.

Sapphire

littleclover wrote: »

I've ha an awful day and to top it off just found one of my little chickens dead with its little friend sitting on top of him peeping as if he was crying.....it really got to me and I guess it's all the stuff in my head about money and stuff getting the better of me!!!!
I have text my ex to ask his thoughts on this and he said to do what i have to and not to worry about him......then reminded me that life is too short to worry about money as look how young my mam was when she died......and that's when this mess began.....when she died!!!!!!

I think....I just wanna make people happy and not leave me like she did and I think buying stuff makes them happy including my children and have learn't the hard way that isn't the case....

I will do an SOA later and get started with this...back to work on wed after 9 weeks on the sick and not looking forward to that either....trying to smile and stuff in my job when you feel like this isn't easy!!!!

Anyway, thought I'd just check in hoping you lot don't give up on me like everyone else usually does!!!!!:(

xxxxx

I'm sure people with a lot more savvy than me will help you out here, but just to convey my sympathies to you.

So sorry about the chicken. Why don't you get her another friend? I know someone who gets her chickens free from an egg-laying place – she takes chickens which would otherwise be disposed of, so doesn't pay for them. They still lay eggs for her regularly.

justjohn

littleclover wrote: »

I've ha an awful day and to top it off just found one of my little chickens dead with its little friend sitting on top of him peeping as if he was crying.....it really got to me and I guess it's all the stuff in my head about money and stuff getting the better of me!!!!
I have text my ex to ask his thoughts on this and he said to do what i have to and not to worry about him......then reminded me that life is too short to worry about money as look how young my mam was when she died......and that's when this mess began.....when she died!!!!!!

I think....I just wanna make people happy and not leave me like she did and I think buying stuff makes them happy including my children and have learn't the hard way that isn't the case....

I will do an SOA later and get started with this...back to work on wed after 9 weeks on the sick and not looking forward to that either....trying to smile and stuff in my job when you feel like this isn't easy!!!!

Anyway, thought I'd just check in hoping you lot don't give up on me like everyone else usually does!!!!!:(

xxxxx

Comming to terms with debt and why it has happened and tackling the reason is a bigger challenge than paying it off. So well done .....And things will only get better...Chin up and soldier on.