Simple registry office wedding

bjj12

My partner and I are in our fifties and it will be our second marriage. What we want is a very simple basic legal bit with our just our four respective children followed by a meaningful ceremony in our garden with friends and family - on a Saturday. We thought we could pop along to the registry office in the morning and have what we would consider to our marriage ceremony in the afternoon. It seems to be impossible to do this. Our local council will only provide the basic £40 ceremony on a Monday to Thursday at 10 or 10.30 a.m. If we want to get married on a Saturday we have to have their "Simply Perfect" wedding package at a licensed venue at almost £600. We neither want nor need to 2 ceremonies. We ideally need to have both ceremonies on the same day and at the weekend. We have 2 children each and want all four to attend both parts. They are all of working age and live a considerable distance away so probably wouldn't want or be able to be away from work from Wednesday onwards - in order to fit in both parts. I am quite upset and angry as I feel that we are being forced into an expensive ceremony in a place that we don't want to have it in.

Any suggestions anyone please?

picklepick

Welcome to the boards!

Where abouts do u live? Is there any other Reigsiter Offices nearby?

For example, I live in Manchester but if i wanted to i could get married in Stockport or Oldham etc. You will need to pay to give notice twice, once in your local office and then again in the one that you want to marry in. It costs £65 each time but nowhere near the cost of the £600 package!

mandragora_2

Have the registry ceremony on the Thursday and get the formalities out of the way, keeping it very small, private and low key, and do what you want to on the Saturday, as this seems to be the bit that will be the celebration?

Perhaps you're tilting at windmills, wanting the council to change a practice that works for them, and I'd think almost all the couples who use their service are getting the sort of thing they want. The council is maximising their revenue raising opportunities, as every council tax payer would be hoping they'd do, especially when services to support elderly and vulnerable people start having to be cut back....




*retires to safe distance

bjj12

Thanks Picklepick.

We live in Sevenoaks, Kent and the rules apply to the whole of Kent. Not one single registry office will do a simple ceremony on a Saturday. I guess it might be worth looking at Surrey or Sussex registry offices and seeing if they will oblige.

I see what you are saying mandragora but ideally we wanted our four children (2 each) to be both at the legal bit and at what we would consider to be our "proper" marriage ceremony. If we have the legal bit done on Thursday there is no way that they can attend both as they all live miles and miles away.

HappyMJ

What about school holidays or when you say children, do you actually mean your son's and daughters who are adults? If so, how about them booking a Monday off work?

mandragora_2

If they're still at school, I'm pretty sure school would authorise a morning's absence for that - it's an important family moment.

Dizzie77

I'm going along with Happy's idea.....could you have your "proper" marriage celebration on the Saturday, and then do the legal bit on
the monday? It's not ideal but it would reduce the amount of time that the children need to have off work? and it would mean that you
both get what you want.

elaine12022

I got married 18 months ago, we went to the Registry Office on the Wednesday,with just parents & best man/matron of honour (and spent a night in a B & B afterwards) and had a blessing on the Saturday with the rest of the family & friends. We did this so as not to try & fit everything in on one day, and it worked really well, and the time we had together on the Wednesday was very special.Saturday we were running around like headless chickens!!:rotfl:

It sounds like you have the support of your children which is wonderful, I am sure you will find a way to make the best of the situation.And good luck. :T

polkadot

As you're in Sevenoaks-I got married in Sidcup in March this year. It cost us £30 each to give notice and £95 for the ceremony on a Monday-Saturday would have cost £185...Still, nowhere near your £600.00. Sevenoaks is not too far and the registry office at Sidcup was lovely.

ETA: We chose the Monday as it was the 15th of March and as my husband never remembers my birthday he wanted a significant date so he would remember our anniversary;) ..."Beware the Ides of March" And he will forevermore, because after dinner at a little Greek tavern in Bexleyheath he sent me home ahead of him...and I had to call him later to find he'd "nipped into the pub across the road from the tavern" (I was 16 weeks pg at the time). He came home very quickly and takes his punishment everyday now:)

bjj12

Thanks everybody - really do appreciate all the input and ideas.

The easiest option to ensure all the children can be at both bits is still for legal bit Saturday morning and meaningful ceremony in the afternoon. Thanks to your ideas I have now found that we can get married in Bromley for £140 on a Saturday morning. Not much in it between driving there and Tunbridge Wells (Kent registry office). I get your point Elaine about trying to do both in one day - hadn't thought that far as to how frazzled we will be with all the running around. Think I will have to be very very organised - fortunately I have never felt the desire to spend hours on my hair and make-up - that will save time. Quick dash back from registry office, into the shower and new frock on!

mandragora_2

bjj12 wrote: »

Thanks everybody - really do appreciate all the input and ideas.

The easiest option to ensure all the children can be at both bits is still for legal bit Saturday morning and meaningful ceremony in the afternoon. Thanks to your ideas I have now found that we can get married in Bromley for £140 on a Saturday morning. Not much in it between driving there and Tunbridge Wells (Kent registry office). I get your point Elaine about trying to do both in one day - hadn't thought that far as to how frazzled we will be with all the running around. Think I will have to be very very organised - fortunately I have never felt the desire to spend hours on my hair and make-up - that will save time. Quick dash back from registry office, into the shower and new frock on!

Brilliant! I'm so glad for you that you've asked for advice, done some research and come up with a solution that makes sense for you both - and I'm really pleased you didn't get stuck at 'It's not fair!' which is what you felt at first - you'd be surprised at the number of times people ask for advice and ideas, but then go on the roundly ignore it, because what they really want to do is stay stuck at being cross about something they can't change.

All the best to both of you on the day and in the future:)