Sunday morning blues - long, sorry.

rkh001

I feel so fed up today. I am tired and could do with a break from life for a few days to recharge my batteries and get back into it!

Hubby went into hospital on Friday but before that he'd been off work for a few days. On Thurs and Fri I ended up not going to work because I was very worried for him and because he had been up every 15 mins through out the night, I hadn't had any sleep. But of course I won't get paid - so only 2 day's pay next week.

To go on from that, I have just checked my bank bal and it is standing at £7. This will take me to my maxed out overdraft. I have several bills coming out this week and I dread to think what the charges will be. To avoid this, I am going to bank £100 of my mother's money tomorrow which means I will be £50 short for each of the following 2 weeks. The vicious circle continues. And I hate borrowing my mother's money. As it is I am struggling to make ends meet and losing out on pay for any days lost just makes the situation worse. When I rang my boss to tell him that I won't be in on Friday as well, he went, hmmm, ok we'll see you when we see you, 'sigh' and I thought that they don't even pay me for any time not worked, so what is his problem. I know I had 2 weeks off when I had my knees operation about 4 weeks ago and I didn't get paid for that either!. What can I do??? One of my colleagues (she lives opposite) is always off sick for half days for weeks on end and then she goes home saying she is not well, will phone in on Friday and say she is too ill to come but then goes away for a long weekend to gig at some place (they are in a blue grass band). He never questions her and everyone has complained about her.

To add to it all the next door neighbours kept me awake till gone 1 a.m. last night. The have 3 teenage boys and a girl. Their friends and girlfriends turn up in a couple of cars, they all squeeze into one car with some of them hanging around the car and they talk and laugh loudly - especially the girls. They scream with laughter, they have screechy voices and they play loud music. In the past my husband has knocked on the door and told their father to get them to keep it down. It lasts for a couple of weeks and starts again. I have been spending all my time at the hospital with my husband and I don't need that when I get home to sleep. So I phoned the police (on 101) and reported them. I was told that if there is a patrol car in the area, they will come round. Yeah, right!! No sight of them. I was so wound up that I didn't go to bed to about 2.30 a.m. and now I am leaving to go to the hospital.

Does it ever end?

Thanks for reading. Got to go now but will read tonight. Thanks.

newleaf

Hi there :hello:
Sorry you are feeling so blue, and hope your hubby is soon better.
re your noisy neighbours, are they a council or housing association tenant? If so, you can complain to them about unreasonable behaviour (inc noise). Our local housing association takes a very firm line with these things and they would be told to sort it or risk losing their tenancy.
If they are private tenants or owner occupiers I think you can report their behaviour to the environmental health department. Of course, you run the risk of retaliation, and I suppose you have to weigh up the pros & cons. Would they be amenable to reason if you went and spoke to them about it and explained just how difficult it is making your life at the mo? This would be the first thing the council/EHD would ask if you had tried anyway, so maybe it's worth a shot.
Hope things settle down for you soon.

lyric_grace

**HUG**
I think its what you need right now!
I hope that your husband is getting better, those noisy neighbours are all you need at the moment. I have been in the same situation and it makes you so made that some people can be SOOO inconsiderate to other people, its just selfish behaviour! I Hope things improve for you soon. LGx

moozie_2

:grouphug: hun. Sorry to see ou are going throughsuch a rough time at the moment. Hope hubby is back with you soon, it must be a terribe worry for you.

Keep you chin up, thinking of you xx

kickingkay

((((((((hugs))))))))))
im really sorry to hear you sound so low,
ok lets start with work i know you say they dont pay you if your off but they will have to cover your shift with someone else so its inconvienient for them hence the (sigh) but why were you not paid for you tijme off during your op???? surely you could have claimed ssp?
im really sorry about hubby, but he will be home soon im sure
as for your neighbours go talk to them, just ask if they can have a chat they prob dont relise it is affecting you so badly, and if that doesnt work ring the police
as for bills i have spent these last few weeks juggling my bills around :eek:
and as i thought i would shift my mortgage payment to the end of the month to lighten my exspense so i could pay the bills it has cost me and extra £150 for the privilage!!!!!! but what i did do was cancelled my dd and then paid what i could as and when i told the companies i would pay by cheque giving me a few more days grace to the end of the month but what i have done is sold like made on ebay! i have managed to make quite a bit from stuff i would have shoved in the loft (aladins cave!) maybe you could sell some stuff too? just all suggestions
i do hope you are feeling a bit chearier when you get home
kk xx

SADE613

Dear "Blues", ah bless, Sorry you are not having a good time of things and I hope that your husband makes a speedy recovery, However now is the time to sort yourself out. The answer to your question "Does it ever end?" is a resounding YES IT DOES.
But you are the only person that can make changes happen for the better.
Worrying does not solve anything - and I truly understand the not sleeping at night bit as my brain tends to go into overdrive the minute I wake up. OK so first things first. 1) Your boss sucks if he has an attitude like that and if you are not receiving sick pay then that sucks too. So what are you going to do? You need to feel confident about yourself. Make a list of all your great attributes (and I am sure there are plenty) and decide where YOU would LIKE to work. Write a stonking CV tonight, don't go off sick unless you really have to and make sure you do a good job each day at work. Even if you hate it. If you put effort in you start to feel better about yourself and you boss will ba sick as a pig when you leave him for a better one. I am a great believer that within some boundaries such as rocket scientists and astronauts you can pretty much do anything you put your mind too. E.g. last year I worked in accounts, this year I am a secretary. And by the way I type two fingered and have never had secretarial training. Go for something with better prospects and potentially more pay and then your finance situation will also improve and so will your sleep.
The neighbours - there is a situation that I had also. This is a really difficult one, but I would invite the lady around for tea. Tell how how unwell your husband has been and that you are not sleeping and hopefully if she has a heart she will realise that you need some peace and quiet.
But if that does not work and I hate to say it but it didn't with me, then the comments above might have to be taken. My answer was to move and if you own your own property then that may be a good solution for you too. New slate. None of this solves the health issues though and all I can say is that I hope he is better soon. Look after each other, best wishes and Make It Happen!

pania

hi there.

Only last night i had the courage to post and askfor help. You are doing great by the sound of it by confronting the issue and talking to people about it. Things DO get better. I know there are days where you don't believe it but hey we can only go up from here eh. The hardest thing is facing the problem so you've taken a fantastic step.
Keep your chin up hon and there are support networks out there for carers in your position. Maybe something you need to look into if hubby's illness will be a long term thing, i really hope for your and his case that isn't the situation.

With regards the noisy neighbours if it is a persistant thing and you don't feel able to speak to the parents of said teenage yoblet then a discreet call to the noise abatement officer may well help.

If you want to talk to a fellow newbie in a similar financial situation and share ideas then send me a personal message. will do what i can to help.

best of luck.

homersimpson_3

the most important thing at the moment is your husband and both of your health- you need to take care of yourself because if you don't you're not going to be any good to him. don't worry about work- they'll have to cope-unfortunately the majority of bosses tend to have their favourites and seem to apply ther rules differently depending on the person involved. ring up bank -explain circumstances- ask them to extend overdraft- can you cancel any things for direct debits- have a word with neighbours (parents) - explain husband ill and ask them to speak to children to keep noise down.

rkh001

Thank you to everyone. I still feel a bit down but I am sure tomorrow will be another day that will bring it's own challenges.

Hubby is getting better and will probably be at home on Tuesday - fingers crossed. As much as I love him, it is very hard to sit by a patient's bed. I had the papers to read and I also took my Xmas cross-stitch with me.

As for the job - I really like my job. It is an easy job for good money and I work from 8.30 to 4.30 which suits me fine. The problem is it is a temp job, although I have been there for a year now! I did get SSP of £80+ which doesn't go far. The boss is not going to be impressed with me tomorrow when I tell him that I need to go out to see the consultant as a follow up appt. for my kness. Then on Tues I have a physio appt. It's not good timing for me to change jobs with everyhting else going on.

As for money, I have asked the bank to increase my overdraft just for tonight until I can go and pay in cahs tomorrow. They agreed so I am not too worried although I still don't like using mum's money.

Neighbours - we have spoken to them several times when they tend to play really loud music. The man of household says "I can't hear it, so I am surprised you can". Of course when he says that, there is the TV blaring in the background, obviously he doesn't hear what we hear in our bedroom. They own the property (or have a mortgage) and we only moved here 2 years ago. We don't have good credit history to be able to move as there is hardly any equity in the property. We had borrowed 100%! But I did ring the police who asked me to ring 101 and the lady at the other end just took all my details and that was the end of that. I might call the council tomorrow and complain again.

Well, I am going to have a hot drink, a bath and straight to bed. I am so tired I can't even think straight. I'd been doing really well on a diet as well but that has gone up the blink. Ah, I don't care right now...Thanks for reading and supporting me. Hugs to everyone.

pania

Hi RKH-001, how are things going now? any improvements?

xx

Johnhowell

rkh001 wrote:

Neighbours - we have spoken to them several times when they tend to play really loud music. The man of household says "I can't hear it, so I am surprised you can". Of course when he says that, there is the TV blaring in the background, obviously he doesn't hear what we hear in our bedroom. They own the property (or have a mortgage) and we only moved here 2 years ago. We don't have good credit history to be able to move as there is hardly any equity in the property. We had borrowed 100%! But I did ring the police who asked me to ring 101 and the lady at the other end just took all my details and that was the end of that. I might call the council tomorrow and complain again.

rkh001,
Persist with the council, they should send someone around to measure the sound levels in your bedroom - mention your husband just out of hospital, etc. They will then warn the neighbour and can remove TVs, Hi-Fi, etc.

John