I'm heartbroken

Minniemavis

Hi all,
Been a lurker for a while. I came home last night to find my mum in bed with my boyfriend. I'm so upset I can't believe it. We have 2 young boys and I was so happy. He or she never showed any signs that they liked each other ie never saw any flirting signs. I was so oblivious to it all how stupid and gullable am I...he has told me that he loves her and he wants to spend his life with her. To add she is not with my dad they split when I was younger but she does have a boyfriend. She has said that she was silly and had too many to drink and loves her boyfriend and has tried to beg me to not tell him, but why shouldn't I? She has wrecked my life. I loved him so much I just don't know what to do. I have no idea what I'm expecting from you guys but I just have nowhere to turn to.

Thanks
Xx

crutches

No advice but (hug) how awful for you.

GEEGEE8

Oh my God.. how horrible !

Minniemavis

Thanks for your replies. Thankfully we are not married but I just don't know what to do!? Where do I start? I'm now thinking what the hell has she got that I haven't? I'm just so heartbroken I can't function properly. He has been my partner for 8 years now and he is all I know if that makes sense!? First serious relationship as we met when I was 16.

Thanks for any advice xx

GEEGEE8

I just don't know where to start in trying to help!

What was your mum thinking?! That is so below the belt it's unreal, do you normally get on with your mum?

The boyfriend has to go.

pigpen

I'd tell your mums bf for a start.. how awful for you not knowing and how bad for him that you all know and he is oblivious!!

Wherever you go from here remember the children come first!

I hope you can find some peace and decide what you want to happen from now on. You are calling the shots remember..

Minniemavis

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

I just don't know where to start in trying to help!

What was your mum thinking?! That is so below the belt it's unreal, do you normally get on with your mum?

The boyfriend has to go.

I'm just in so much shock. My mum was like my best friend. I always turned to her when things was hard! Now who do I turn to. I feel so useless to everyone at the moment.
He has told me I could never satisfy him enough and I was always tired from working. I do work full time and have 2 kids both under 6. I just feel like I want to beat the s!!t out of them both. The kids are asking where daddy is!? What do I say?? My head is just all over.

Thanks again to you all xx

kate1976

Hugs to you, this happened to my friend many years ago although he caught his dad and gf at it! Get rid of bf, tell mum's bf and then hold your head high and move on, it'll be very hard but time heals, my friend is now married to a lovely girl, he no longer speaks to his parents (he told his mum what had happened but she still stayed with his dad) he is happier now than I've ever known so there is hope, just concentrate on you and your boys and I hope you find the happiness you deserve soon!

Minniemavis

pigpen wrote: »

I'd tell your mums bf for a start.. how awful for you not knowing and how bad for him that you all know and he is oblivious!!

Wherever you go from here remember the children come first!

I hope you can find some peace and decide what you want to happen from now on. You are calling the shots remember..

It's me that feels more stupid than anyone else, I feel more embarrassed that this has happened and for how long this has been going on. I will never call her mum again and as for him well I will leave that to your imagination.

Thanks so much for your advice xx

Minniemavis

kate1976 wrote: »

Hugs to you, this happened to my friend many years ago although he caught his dad and gf at it! Get rid of bf, tell mum's bf and then hold your head high and move on, it'll be very hard but time heals, my friend is now married to a lovely girl, he no longer speaks to his parents (he told his mum what had happened but she still stayed with his dad) he is happier now than I've ever known so there is hope, just concentrate on you and your boys and I hope you find the happiness you deserve soon!

Oh I'm sat crying reading that! That's so nice of you to share. Least I'm not the only one it happens to. I just feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel for me!
Thanks again xx

pigpen

Of course you do.. it is bad enough he would cheat in the first place but with your own mum must be just the pits.. but it isn't your fault.. in any way shape or form..

TBH I'd be bagging up his stuff right now.. or just flinging out in the garden!! and be done with the both of them!