Help with Boyfriends Debts

Jaymz

Don't help him out!!! If you ever break up or fall out (I hope this doesnt happen), you may not get anything back!

moozie_2

minxystar wrote:

As I see it, our options are:

1) For me to do nothing, and for him to keep paying just over the minimum off all debts and try to consolidate them as they get smaller.
2) For me to re-mortgage and get a lump sum to pay off part of the debts, which he then pays me back monthly
3) For me to get a secured loan to pay off part of the debts, which he then pays me back monthly
4) Go to a debt counsellor (although I’m not sure what new info they can give us, as I think we are pretty aware of the situation)

Hello minxystar and welcome.

It is admirable that you want to help your partner when he's in such financial mess. The question you need to know the answer to is this: if you bail him out by taking a loan/remortgage, what will he learn from it? I can answer this question in several ways but that's irrelevant, it's your view that matters.

I think you have another option. You could offer your support by reducing or totally eliminating the amount he pays for house keeping and paying that £300 off his debts. Unless he starts snowballing (overpaying the highest interest accruing ones), he'll be in a debt for a very long time.

£441 disposable income is a lot of money. If he was dedicated to becoming debt free, he'd want to spend as little as possible and throw every spare penny (yes, pennies count too ) to the debts. It can be done, with a bit of will and determination. I earn £34,000 pa, no bonus or perks, and my disposable income after bills is around £150 per month as everything else goes to overpaying my debts - and I am still trying to lower my spending. Being debt free is in my top priorities right now. Is it for your partner?

WesternExpress

I agree with a lot of the above posters, you shouldn't pay off his debt, otherwise all that will happen is that you will get a bad credit score and he may well run up debts again (until they have to face up to it they find it hard to change their habits).

Good luck.

poppy_f1

im another one with the dont pay anything off for him brigade, i done this with a prev bfriend and then we split up and i never saw a penny

minxystar

I really appreciate the time and effort you have all taken to reply :T . Obviously there are a lot of different ideas and suggestions here, so we will have a good think about what has been said before deciding a way forward.

I hope to post again tomorrow with more detail on the debts themselves as well as my household bills.

Goodnight all,

Minxystar