Please need advice about break up marrage and mortgage

jamesd

bitty71, then he moves out of your home and back into the marital home. This saves him the money he's paying for your rent. You visit the home regularly for the usual sexual and other relations of your relationship, since both he and his wife have the right to live there and do this, including having overnight visitors.

Once the lack of need to pay for your rent has allowed enough money to be saved to commence divorce proceedings he should do that.

Person_one

jamesd wrote: »

bitty71, then he moves out of your home and back into the marital home. This saves him the money he's paying for your rent. You visit the home regularly for the usual sexual and other relations of your relationship, since both he and his wife have the right to live there and do this, including having overnight visitors.

Once the lack of need to pay for your rent has allowed enough money to be saved to commence divorce proceedings he should do that.

That's a very sensitive way to behave. I'm going to read between the lines and assume that the husband moved straight from his marital home to the OP's home, I'm guessing she may not be the wife's favourite person!

OP, your partner still needs to pay half his mortgage, I'd say that's his primary obligation before paying your rent because he agreed to it first and signed a contract!

What benefits were you on? Are you unable to work to pay your own rent?

jamesd

Person_one, it's not ideal for him to cohabit with his new partner in the former marital home but that's what may be required by the current financial situation. Though I'd hope that for some time at least things were done with what limited delicacy is available in the situation.

It's unfortunate that the wife who will become former seems to be trying to block both the sale of the property and the progress of a divorce. Something needs to be done to end that impasse and that seems to require him moving back into the marital home. People have done this for years waiting for properties to sell, including with their new partners. It's not ideal, just unfortunate reality when money is limited. I assume that he won't much appreciate the need either.

Person_one

jamesd wrote: »

Person_one, it's not ideal for him to cohabit with his new partner in the former marital home but that's what may be required by the current financial situation. Though I'd hope that for some time at least things were done with what limited delicacy is available in the situation.

It's unfortunate that the wife who will become former seems to be trying to block both the sale of the property and the progress of a divorce. Something needs to be done to end that impasse and that seems to require him moving back into the marital home. People have done this for years waiting for properties to sell, including with their new partners. It's not ideal, just unfortunate reality when money is limited. I assume that he won't much appreciate the need either.

It doesn't sound to me like she's blocking anything, neither of them can afford to start divorce proceedings, not just her, and the house is on the market already.

If he does have to move back in temporarily, I think it would be atrocious and unnecessarily cruel for him to take his new girlfriend with him. If the marriage only ended 6 months ago then (hopefully) they've only been together that long at most, its not essential for them to live together, she can stay put and get her rent paid by benefits as before until her partner is truly free.

bitty71

No i am not working at the moment, as i am a carer for my disabled daughter, im not one of those dole lites you seem to think i am sponging off the government, and i have to agree with jamesd on one point, i think she is stopping the house sale going through, they did get an offer for the house just under the asking price, and even the selling advisor told her it was a good offer, she acsepted it then it fell through, the advisor asked her to lower the price to the one she acsepted but refused wants full price. and my partner has heard nothing else since about viewings or offers.

Person_one

bitty71 wrote: »

No i am not working at the moment, as i am a carer for my disabled daughter, im not one of those dole lites you seem to think i am sponging off the government, and i have to agree with jamesd on one point, i think she is stopping the house sale going through, they did get an offer for the house just under the asking price, and even the selling advisor told her it was a good offer, she acsepted it then it fell through, the advisor asked her to lower the price to the one she acsepted but refused wants full price. and my partner has heard nothing else since about viewings or offers.

I assumed no such thing, I merely asked.

To be honest, as a new partner of hopefully less than 6 months, is this even any of your business? Let him deal with it, and if he can't pay your rent and the mortgage then he should move out of your place so you can claim your benefits again rather than leave his wife up the creek, there are no benefits to help with a mortgage.

Maybe she should consider lowering the asking price, but I'm not sure how you can force that, it needs to be a decision between the two of them, and maybe she'd be more agreeable in general if she didn't feel like you were pulling strings in the background. I imagine she resents you.