Negative attitude to becoming MF by a friend!

Hi all,

I have lurked around MF for some time but it is soemthing that OH and I have discussed on and off for some time but without coming up with a plan. This is due to not quite being sure where we want to live/moving for work etc and also I have only just began work after finishing my degree so still working out spare money to over pay.

Anyway........was discussing with some friends about becoming mortgage free and how OH and I had discussed a few alternative temporary housing options whilst we decide where to live.

The attitude I got back was truly astounding. My friends attitude was that 'everyone has to pay a mortgage so just get on with it'.........she couldn't see the benefit of not having to pay say £900 per month to a mortgage and seemed to think I was odd for not wanting this mill stone around my neck for the next 20 odd years anymore.

I was actually very upset following this conversation as felt belittled by a desire to lead a simpler life, less constrained by a mortgage and to have more freedom with money and where we lived. She used the word 'traveller' when I said OH and I had even discussed downsizing to a static home for a year or a barge. I have never felt so stifeld by someone else before but do also see that she likes and needs the security of a mortgage.

Anyone else had any negativity on their path ot MF?????
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Replies

  • RosieTigerRosieTiger Forumite
    863 Posts
    Yes, lots, but each to their own. This is a journey that most people are not interested in and those of us that are, generally wish we had found earlier!
    There are enough people on the MSE site who think the same, but plenty more on the MFW board that agree - best thing is having this place to share your views with like minded people. Your friends will likely be the ones in the future who end up envious of your position.
    RosieTiger - Highest £242,000 Feb 2004 :mad:
    Lightbulb Dec 2008 £146,000 by March 2026:eek:
    MFi3T2 and T3 No 28 - Dec 2009 Start Balance £117,000
    Current Position-Fully off set by savings since March 2013
  • sassybluesassyblue Forumite
    3.8K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
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    ah squirrelchops, not very nice of her! l think she was just envious that you are trying (or doing) this, l wonder if she would still be your friend in years to come when you have paid your mortgage off??


    Happy moneysaving all.
  • edited 21 June 2010 at 5:57PM
    WhiteHorseWhiteHorse Forumite
    2.5K Posts
    edited 21 June 2010 at 5:57PM
    My friends attitude was that 'everyone has to pay a mortgage so just get on with it' ...
    Some people feel safer as part of the herd and resent those who are not.
    ... see that she likes and needs the security of a mortgage.
    Being deep in debt is 'security'?
    "Never underestimate the mindless force of a government bureaucracy
    seeking to expand its power, dominion and budget"
    Jay Stanley, American Civil Liberties Union.
  • laurel7172laurel7172 Forumite
    2.1K Posts
    Ummm...you might want to be careful who you tell abut MFW.

    I'm lucky enough to be mortgage free. I don't go around shouting about it, because it would get people's backs up. And it's none of their business. But you are likely to be perceived as gloating, either that you've made it, or that you have enough spare each month to be on the way. Nobody said life was fair or people reasonable.

    Do go for it, if you want to, because, well, it's such a relief...but unfortunately, most people won't be happy for you, and it really is easier to keep it a secret.
    import this
  • CourgetteCourgette Forumite
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    It's odd isn't it. I told a couple of people at first but I don't bother now as people just think I'm weird. I guess if I'm honest it's also not that thrilling a topic of conversation so probably best left out of real life.;)

    Come on here, we love hearing about how people have found 2p on the street and legged it down to the bank to pay if off their mortgage! :T And you think I'm joking! :eek::eek::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
    A reminder to myself: Persistence Pays Off ;):D :idea: :rotfl:
    Mortgage 1: [STRIKE]£95,000[/STRIKE] £78,900 at 3.1%
    Mortgage 2 (BTL): £83, 489.15 at 2.99% (I.O.)
    Savings (S&S ISA): £3000 Plus 6 months emergency savings earning 3%
  • Thank you all for your suppurt. Once I get settled into my job...which means a house move I am hoping OH and I can come up with a lcear plan and not just a pipe dream. We hate being on the treadmill of work-pay mortgage-work more-pay mortgage-get 4 weeks holiday a year-more work to pay for said holdiay and mortgage etc!!!!

    We dream of working to fund our breaks away and not having all the money going to the mortgage!!!
  • wynnvegaswynnvegas Forumite
    1.4K Posts
    Mortgage-free Glee!
    Forumite
    I've yet to find anyone who has been negative and I tell everyone I know that being mortgage free is by far and away my most pressing objective - mainly so that I keep myself motivated not to fail in meeting my targets when my friends ask how it's going. Those who haven't reacted positively haven't been all that bothered - remember that you're doing it for you so other people's opinions don't matter that much in the grand scheme of things.

    Cheers,

    Billy
    Mortgage Free: 28/10/2010
    Time / Interest Saved: 18.5 years / £61,866.50
  • newgirlynewgirly Forumite
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    I know exacly what you mean, I have spoken to friends with mixed responses, the general one seems to be , you must be really rich to be able to overpay your mortgage, but that has NOTHING at all to do with it, We used to spend all our money (and lots of the banks!) because OH works so hard that we deserved some treats.
    Now we spend far less on everything and have just started to O/P the mortgage, and its very early days, but feels fantastic.
    I now waste lots of time online checking how much is in the bank so we can overpay it, whereas I used to look at my huge overdraft and think,oh I am £50 under my overdraft limit, I can spend £50 still.
    This has site has changed my life , I thought we would always be in debt so it wasn't worth trying, but now i am desperate to clear the mortgage. Freedom is in sight (even though it is a good few years down the line!):D
    2022 MFW 67 - 33 month challenge to clear mortgage, month 3 completed and on track 🙂MFI3 No.12
  • SmlSaveSmlSave Forumite
    4.9K Posts
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Big ((HUG)) from me squirrell :)

    My friends think I'm werid but they know that I'm [STRIKE]tight [/STRIKE]carefull :D

    Most of them chat to me about the best accounts etc as I'm always on here trying to make the most of my money.

    Only one friend is distainful of my aim to be MF by 40 but then she's very materialistic but also very generous. We both shake our heads at each other.

    I think the best thing about this board is that you can gush about money saving and your journey as much as you like and you make new (cyber)friends so that you don't bore your other friends who aren't so interested
    Currently studying for a Diploma - wish me luck :)

    Phase 1 - Emergency Fund - Complete :j
    Phase 2 - £20,000 Mortgage Fund - Underway
  • gallygirlgallygirl Forumite
    17.2K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Mortgage-free Glee!
    Forumite
    Courgette wrote: »

    Come on here, we love hearing about how people have found 2p on the street and legged it down to the bank to pay if off their mortgage! :T And you think I'm joking! :eek::eek::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

    :o am sure it was 5p Courgette actually :o :rotfl:
    SmlSave wrote: »

    I think the best thing about this board is that you can gush about money saving and your journey as much as you like and you make new (cyber)friends so that you don't bore your other friends who aren't so interested

    Yup, garble on to us as much as you like - as long as you're prepared to listen to our intelligent, solely money saving related chats :whistle:

    It is difficult - I'm lucky in that I'm much better off than my friends so I don't talk about OPing mortgage to them as it does seem like rubbing their noses in it. However, they could all do so much if they didn't waste so much money on clothes, DVD's, buying sandwiches etc. I spend a very small amount of my disposable income on that, compared to them (1 friend showed me her wardrobe, she had 25 summer skirts & is taking over the spare room :eek:). Yet when I've paid all my mortgage off I'll get a 'you're so lucky' rather than 'well done, wish I had your discipline'.

    Stick with us, we'll support you :)
    A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
    :) Mortgage Balance = £0 :)
    "Do what others won't early in life so you can do what others can't later in life"
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