Getting Nowhere Fast

Going_Nowhere_Fast_3

I apologise if this is in the wrong section.:o


I am not a troll- I have signed in as a new user to protect my ID as some people are often judgemental as soon as you mention that you are in receipt of benefits.

My son is registered disabled with language and comprehension difficulties, he qualifies and receives middle rate DLA and Lower Rate Mobility, He is 18 ( 19 this year.) He has just left college after doing a life skills course. He as worked voluntary for the past 4 1/2 years for the WRVS helping them out in the kitchens cooking meals for the day care centre and nursery , he also helps to run the cafe aswell.

18 months ago they offered him an apprenticeship in catering ( He desperately wants to be a chef) but because they are a voluntary organisation they cannot fund his tutoring etc. I have approached his college, other various training centres and connexions on advice about funding this course but I have not had any joy securing anything for him.

My dilemma now is do I tell him he cannot follow the dream he has worked so hard for ,for the last 4 1/2 years , just let him keep working for nothing and remain claimimg his DLA or is there an alternative option which will give him a feeling of self worth and positive direction in which to channel his desire to be a chef.

They argument that connexions is claimimg is- if he does the apprenticeship and then works in a restaurant then he wont be able to cope as the only reason he has done so well at the WRVS centre is because it is a small centre which he is familiar with and has been given the time and patience from other colleagues to learn the skills needed at his pace, which would not be feasible in a normal working environment,
He is an honest and trustworthy person with a very strong work ethic, and I really do not want this to be undermined.

Thankyou for sticking with this and would gratefully accept any practical advice given

SarEl

I'm not an expert on this, so it's really just my opinion. But I am disgusted that Connexions can make an assessment that someone won't be capable - it goes against every principle of disability equality. If he can get into a course, get through a course, and gets a job (a lot of if's there in the first place) then if he can't cope in a bigger environment - (a) there are smaller ones and (b) at least he will have tried to fulfill his human potential. How on earth can anyone, with a disability or not, know what they may or may not be able to do in the future?

I would suggest running any and all "gamuts" you need to. Contact your MP. Speak to any specialist disability organisations. If necessary, get some free legal advice as to whether this breaches the DDA - which I think it may, since they have not done any assessment to prove this assumption. Complain to the Council's Adult Services providers. Write to the Pope and the Chief Rabbi if you have to!

I hope that someone will be able to give you the "right answer" - but whatever you do, don't give up. Your son has every right to have his dream. Having a disability neither stops him dreaming, nor does it mean he can't have it. In your position I would move heaven and earth to make it happen. Lots of people have dreams - with or without disabilities - and if there is the remotest prospect of achieveing them, I would always say to go for it. Better a dream you tried and failed, than never to have tried at all.

Oldernotwiser

If this is your son's first Level 2 qualification (which I imagine that it is) he shouldn't have to pay any fees, whether for full or part time study. Perhaps Connexions and the College feel that he won't be able to cope with the course?

Going_Nowhere_Fast_3

Thank You for the replies and support

Oldernotwiser- I have a feeling its more about funding than anything alse and also the lady at connections was more interested in filling in the form than actually listening to what I was saying. Although it hurts me too say it, he probably wouldn't cope in a normal kitchen environment and is why we thought the WRVS seemed like the Holy Grail to us as it just seemed taylor made - working with older people who are not judgemental at a place he has positively flourished at for the last 4 yrs.Nobody judges him bit everybody accepts him.
Connexions written advice on the form is to go around local cafes and restaurants and ask if they have any jobs!
Wholly innapproprite ,as if the conversation progressed any further with in-depth questioning he most definitely would struggle in understanding the question and giving the appropriate answer.

SarEl-ThankYou! Sometimes I feel like the overbearing mother who refuses to accept her child's disabilities but through hard work and determination my husband and I have managed to get him through mainstream school when we were told aboslutely that he would not cope- he was able to even sit GCSE's!! No he didn't get A's but he got grades that we are proud of and show he is more than capable.
I will try again at connexions but hopefully ask to see a different advisor who is familiar in learning difficulties.
Thank again for your replies they have given me a much needed boost!

SarEl

You are not overbearing - you didn't do his GCSE's for him did you? If this is what he genuinely wants to do, like I said, he should try. He may not cope - but everyone has disappointments in life and it's part of life. No parent can ever shield a child from that, with or without a disability. And you know what? Just down the road from my workplace there is a Caf - it's small, non-judgemental and has a range of regulars. These places abound. He doesn't have to work in Cordon Bleu!

If it's any consolation, I may not have a disability, but when I was at school (the local comp) I was told by a careers advisor that I couldn't be a lawyer because I was a girl (and girls didn't go into law) and because good universities didn't accept girls from a school like mine, and people like me (poor) couldn't afford the whole process of getting into the law. Luckily I had a mum just like you! So I am a barrister, with four degrees (undergraduate, two Masters and a PhD) and up yours to the careers advisor! Don't give up.