How will tackling debts effect my fiance?

spacie1977

I wracked up a lot of debt as a single mum at uni. Things were so tight I started putting normal bills like food shopping & electricity on my credit card - doh! So things got REALLY tight.
I'm now engaged to a wonderful man who owns his own company and bless his heart, pays for just about everything. He pays all the bills and mortgage (I moved into his house and personally own nothing but an old knackered car) and for my sons state boarding school fees. So my only real costs are petrol, food, clothes and paying for my debts. I've never defaulted on a payment yet, or had CCJ's or anything, being able to somehow keep my head only just above water, but am struggling with my increasing payments on my credit card as the 21.9% interest is killing me on the £9000 I owe on that. It's getting harder and harder to pay the minimum monthly repayment and it's nearly maxed out.
He's getting increasingly frustrated that I can't afford to contribute to the household costs because my debts take so much from my salary, and it's causing relationship problems - he can splash out on new things whereas I've got to be so tight with my cash all the time. He doesn't want to get hitched until I've tackled my debt - hence the reason why I've now taken my head out the sand. BUT, if I try tackling my debt with a DRO or bankruptcy, will I be adding fuel to the fire with my creditors by telling them I'm getting close to defaulting on payments now, or should I just try to battle on with it until I really do have to start defaulting?
And how would my getting a DRO or going bankrupt effect his credit rating as we now live together? We have a shared bank account we opened together last year but have never used it. Does this make any difference to his rating?
I've recently tracked down my sons ratbag father in the states and have applied for a maintenance order which I'm hoping will help me pay off some of the credit card when (if) it comes through (although I'm perhaps clutching at straws as he's done a runner from paying maintenance before). So should I wait for a result from that before going down the DRO, IVA or BR route?

Happytogetdebtfree

Hi didnt want to read and run, but giving a friendly bump.. it would help if your posted a statement of affairs we can see whats what xx

PNPSUKNET

any joint association will effect his credit rating, close it if you are going togo bankrupt or enter a dro

spacie1977

Ok so here is my Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet. All the household bills except the phonebill are paid by my fiance so there are lots of zero's in the list. But I pay for everything else for me, my own son and the dog. The car/bike costs may seem a bit high because I have to run a car and bike for my job. But the bike is owned by the company so not an asset for the list.

Household Information
Number of adults in household.......... 2
Number of children in household........ 3
Number of cars owned.................... 2

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1022.86
Partners monthly income after tax.....money not shared not married
Child Beneft.................................. 80
Other income................................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1102.86

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage...................................... 0
Secured/HP loan repayments............ 0
Rent............................................ 0
Council tax................................... 0
Electricity.................................... 0
Gas............................................ 0
Oil............................................. 0
Water rates................................ 0
Telephone (land line).................... 25
Mobile phone............................... 0
TV Licence.................................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV......................... 0
Internet Services.......................... 0
Groceries etc. ............................ 280
Clothing..................................... 30
Petrol/diesel............................... 129
Road tax................................... 14.42
Car & bike Insurance.................... 18.33
Car & bike maintenance (incl MOT)... 85
Car parking.................................. 6
Other travel................................. 0
Childcare/nursery.......................... 0
Other child related expenses........... 200
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills/food/kennels.. 111.25
Buildings insurance.......................... 0
Contents insurance......................... 0
Life assurance ............................. 15.47
Other insurance.............................. 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)..... 30
Haircuts........................................ 5
Entertainment................................ 50
Holiday.......................................... 0
Emergency fund.............................. 0
Total monthly expenses................... 999.47

Assets
Cash .......................................... -1218 overdrawn
House value (Gross)......................... 0
Shares and bonds........................... 189
Car .............................................. 550
Other assets................................... 0
Total Assets.................................. -479

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt........Monthly...APR%
HSBC credit card............9138.39....228.4......21.9
Barclaycard...................788.21.....17.73.......6.8
Egg Card.......................644.1......16.25.......19.9
Student loan..................5408.........0...........0.4
Egg loan.......................1942.45.....121.......7.66
Total unsecured debts....17921.15....383.38

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income........................... 1,102.86
Expenses (including HP & secured debts).. 999.47
Available for debt repayments................ 103.39
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments........ 383.38
Amount short for making debt repayments -279.99

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)................. -479
Total HP & Secured debt......................... -0
Total Unsecured debt............................ -17,921.15
Net Assets.......................................... -18,400.15

corbyboy

There are quite a few things there that you can probably cut down on quite easily. Clothes and presents seem the most obvious ones to me.

The pet care costs seem quite high. What exactly is this made up of?

How many people does the £280 groceries feed? Is it just you or the whole household?

How come you pay £85 every month on car/bike maintenance? That seems very high.

Finally, what are the child related expenses?

Percy1983

Does you other half know about this? it may be worth talking to him about it.

Dare I say in my current relationship I had quite a lot more debt than my finacee, but I never tried to hide it but I never told her the full details early on. As it is I wanted to propose and I thought I should tell her before asking. As it is she accepted it and wasn't too worried as I was fine paying it. We are now working on clearing all existing debts from the both of us together.

This maybe a test on the relationship but It does look like you need to talk about it.