Morally wrong? Or best in the long run?

moozie_2

ejones999 wrote:

Read the original post again please.
You seem to think that taking money out of someone else's account is alright because you had stuffed up. I do not!
Where exactly is OP going to get £800 to repay kids accounts once she has repaid her own debts?(That day never comes because something always crops up when you least expect it).

The last paragragh is uncalled for and would call for you to apologise.

The 'someone else' you refer to is the OP's children. As the OP put the money in the account in the first place, it can be argued that they will be putting it back in there once the circumstances are better. It can also be argued that putting the money there, may have caused the OP to owe money elsewhere and to pay interest that is not balanced by what is received in the children's savings.

I take exception to your comment about 'that day never comes'. If we all thought like that, what would be the point of trying to get debt free? Please bear in mind that once the OP is debt free, they will have a lot more disposable income than they do now and some very good suggestions have already been made about how to 'compensate' the children for using this money.

earwig

ask them if they dont mind do it if they do dont if its their money its their choice weather to lend it to you or not

Lemon_Tree

hi
I have savings for my nephews and nieces and a couple of years ago things got so desparate that i had to borrow them back, i did check with my sister, but they don't know about the accounts, i am also paying them back each month a little so that they will never be out of pocket in the long run. It was hard but desparate times = desparate measures
Lem

calleyw

You have to do what you think is right. I don't have children but my husband does. And he would never ever take money out of the accounts that he saved for them. Between us we would starve rather than do that.

It was only small amounts of about £850 max between the two children.

But it was seen as their money no matter who put it.

I don't think it is stealing, the word morally is too strong. But it just does not sit right with me. And is not something that I would personally do.

I wish you all the best what ever you choose to do.


Yours


Calley

frenchconnection200

Would GG and ejones think I'm a terrible mother because I 'borrowed' £500 from my 5 year old sons account to ensure we could move room a pokey, upstairs flat to a 3 bed roomed ex council house with a garden? My son is 9 now and wouldn't let me near his account anyway, but needs must so I say go for it. Your own guilt will ensure you pay it back in the future.

earthmother

We have had to do just what the OP is debating - 3 times in the past 5 years to be precise - because of the benefit rules.

Twice it's been repaid, and this time we are in the process of repaying it. Every time I have added interest at over what they would have received from their accounts, so they've not been short.

We haven't liked doing it, but at the end of the day it's been more important to have food on the table and a roof over our heads.

If you are sure you will repay it, then do it - the loss of stress will benefit the children much more right now than money in the bank.

Felicity

This is a difficult decision, but if I was you, I would do it.

Make a plan and a direct debit as to how you are going to pay it back. From your post, you obviously will.

Your children will benefit from you doing this, so do it!

Felicity.

Frugal_Fox

OP - I feel for you - but we've done it. The children had around £400 in a fairly poorly performing account (Pre MSE days). I've used that to clear a high interest store card account - actually used to purchase them clothes! I'm not yet in a position to pay it back (see sig!) however. I am always mindful that I have 'borrowed' from them. Once the debts are repaid - I am repaying them - with extra to say thank you. The children do not know I've done this - they are too young to understand. One day I will explain it to them, and my reasons and hope that they will make different choices in life than I made, and will not fall into a similar path.

If you intend to repay your children then do it. If you think you may forget to repay them - intentionally or otherwise then don't.

Best of luck with your decision.

FF

postingalwaysposting

hi choco, i sit on the fence with this one, i see point for and against it, but at the end of the day its you that has to make the desicion and it would be you who will have to place the money back in their account, i am sure if the children we a little older and it could be explained to them they would be happy with it

chocaholic110

Eeek...wish I hadn't started this thread!!

To be fair, we are not desperate for the money eg we won't starve or be evicted or anything.

But we do have a level of debt due to the fact that we have both (stupidly(?) ) lent money to family on our credit cards that hasn't been returned. Over the years have just been making minimum payments thinking "It's not my debt" and hoping that family members will somehow come into the money to pay oit back. They haven't and it has been years.

Had a lightbulb moment and have started to pay everything off, am economising madly, have ebayed loads (my stuff not kids!!) aand taken on a lot of ideas on here and have reduced the debt by about a third in the last month (and that's a BIG chunk, believe me).

Just trying now to pay off as much as poss as fast as poss so that we can reach that debt free day faster and get the bigger house we need (some will say want).

It will mean that family members are in debt to us rather than credit cards but that's probably going to be better in the long run.
Judge if you must!