Looking Far Far Ahead....And Not Seeing Alot

kirstle99

Hi All,

Firstly a bit of background. I am 27 and got married last month to my man of 7 years. We have a son who will be 3 in the next few weeks. I manage all the finances in the household (monthly bills etc). We are in a DMP with Payplan. Basically I tried to have a conversation with my husband the other night and got told I was looking too far ahead with all the plans I had.

Basically, we rent our house from my mum. We will not be debt free until May 2015. I am getting annoyed over 2 things;

1) I have 2 credit card accounts with Barclays. The lower balance (couple of hundred pounds) they have been hounding me for a minimum payment of £5 which obviously they know we cannot give. Every 6 months I update our situatio with Payplan, and as our car finance ends next march our payplan payment will go up so their payment will go up (hang on i'm getting there). Anyway now on the statements for both accounts i am getting the 'you have failed to make a minimum payment' rubbish so it's looking like they are getting ready to pass both debts on, which has annoyed me. That's it for that one, it just annoyed me, we have been in a dmp for almost 3 years and its only now they want to pass on debt?

2) The house. Obviously as soon as we finish the dmp our credit ratings are gonna be rubbish. As most of the stuff is in my name it wil be mine that is worse than my husband's. But I am trying to make him see the future. He is not a saver and cannot understand why I 'horde' money and want to save. I explained that it was because 1) if either of us lost our jobs we need at least a month's bill money to keep us going and 2) We do actually need to save for a deposit on the house. I have told my mum it will be at least 11 years before we can even think about buying the house off her and she is happy, as she has 13 years left on the mortgage anyway and she knows our situation. My husband is the kind of man who money burns a hole in his pocket he likes his expensive pc parts (like liquid cooling systems etc) and he just doesn't get that giving ourselves 6 years to save for a deposit after ending a dmp is a good idea, and if we can't ever afford to buy the house then at least we will have a nice amount of money in a savings account instead of running back into debt on credit cards etc.

Anyway sorry for the rant, i'm just feeling a bit down with everything. I think part of it is the 'wedding blues' the big come down after its all happened but this stuff is bugging me, I am a planner and I just want everything to be right for my family. Is that so wrong?

Anyway thanks for reading if you have got to the end, haha.

katsu

Hi Kirstle,

Sounds like he has not yet had his light bulb moment yet. It is difficult if you are not both of the same mindset. Perhaps you could comfort yourself that at least as you are in a DMP he cannot get more credit and make the situation worse?

Perhaps you can find ways to make small savings - such as on your grocery budget - and save up the money and treat yourselves to a night away in a hotel (doesn't need to be too dear) or perhaps a bargain deal for Butlins (the Sun do deals for about £10 I think?) or a cheap car driving experience or something (I think all these things could be done for under £70, probably less). Something where he will enjoy himself too and you can then say "see what saving money does? This has not gone on a CC and not increased our debts". You might then be able to agree with him a savings split (not necessarily 50-50), part into a treats type fund and part into the mortgage deposit.

Might be a crazy idea, or a good one. Thought I'd share it and you can see what you think? I was just trying to think how you get him to want to save.

All the best.

savingwannabe

hello Kirstle i am just writing to say i think you are being very sensible and planning ahead. I do hope OH catches the bug too. It is always good to destress on here.

All the best. SW.

kirstle99

Thanks for your replies both of you. I don't think that it's OH not wanting to save - we have been saving for our wedding for 2yrs - I think maybe he's just having an 'i want to have some fun for a change' moment. Which is fine, i do think we need to maybe do something nice as a family because we do need it.
Sometimes i just feel like i'm fighting with him regarding savings thats all. He laughs at me because i'll say 'lets decorate X bedroom' and he'll say 'ok but we need to get wallpaper, paint etc' and i'll then get in a mood because we have to spend our savings money! Haha!